October 1969

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01. October 1969 – The Love of the Divine in the cells

Constantly, whatever the body may be doing – whether it sees people or looks after itself or sleeps – it’s always, always there, conscious, vibrating.

I say, “It can be done” – but it’s a fact. Only, what’s needed is... the general obstacle is that most people’s physical consciousness is very dark; it’s made only of needs, desires, the most material reactions, but what’s needed is to awaken in the cells the love for the Divine, and once they love the Divine, it’s like that all the time: it doesn’t budge anymore – doesn’t budge. It’s even FAR MORE constant than any vital or mental movement: it’s like this (Mother clenches her two fists), it doesn’t budge anymore. The cells are constantly like that, in a state of love for the Divine.

That’s what is remarkable in the physical, it’s that when the physical has learned something, it never forgets. Once the cells have learned that, learned this self-giving, this offering to the Divine, and this NEED to offer themselves, it’s learned, and it DOESN’T BUDGE ANYMORE. It’s constant, twenty-four hours a day, ceaselessly, day after day, changelessly; even when something goes wrong (you have a pain or something), the first movement is this: it’s to offer it, to give it – spontaneously. The higher consciousness doesn’t intervene, it’s spontaneous: it’s the consciousness contained in the cells.

It’s the vital and the mind that are like this (zigzagging gesture), unsteady Especially the vital, which is interested in all kinds of things.

Naturally, the two are interdependent: the ego must be abolished – the RULE of the ego must be abolished. Generally, people think it’s not possible to abolish the physical ego; not only is it possible, it’s DONE, and the body continues, it keeps on walking – it hasn’t gone! (It had a difficult little moment... a little moment.)

Now these cells are wondering how one can continue to exist without this movement of adoration. They’re like this, everywhere (gesture of intense aspiration), everywhere. It’s very interesting.

All those difficulties one has with the inner development when one deals with the vital and the mind, the return of old things and all that, here [in the body] it’s over, it’s not like that.

08. October 1969 – The Black Being

Last night I had a very interesting experience... I had a long vision – an activity – which I didn’t remember because I didn’t pay sufficient attention, but at the end, there was someone (that was certainly symbolic), a tall black man. It probably wasn’t a human being, it must have been the symbol of something in my life, or something in the life of the people I’ve lived with, or even the symbol of something I’ve been fighting against in life. And then, after a lot, quite a lot of goings-on, I had withdrawn into a small place with a few people (those I always see, who are always there), I was there with them when that black man, or that black BEING... There was no roof; it was a small place with walls, but without a roof (it was in the subtle physical). So that black being came, ripped off a huge piece of wall (the wall was built with big bricks), a huge piece of wall, and from above (he was above me), he threw it at my stomach.... I felt it. And at the same time, I heard a thunderclap was there a thunderclap last night?... Just one. Early in the night?

I don’t think so.

You don’t know... I saw a flash of lightning outside before going to sleep, so I thought maybe... But I am not sure; the thunderclap too may have taken place in the subtle physical.... It fell like this (Mother strikes her stomach). I felt it fall (Mother smiles), I smiled and said, “He can’t!” (Mother laughs) And it didn’t hurt me in the least! Then he left. And it was as if to teach me... I looked, wondering, “How could I receive it?” Then the answer was so clear: it was to teach my body that it can be attacked but won’t feel anything.

I felt it, but it didn’t hurl! And there’s no trace. And there’s nothing – there was enough to crush you! (Mother laughs) And there was nothing. The body was tranquil, tranquil, tranquil.... It woke me up, and I wondered if I’d been hurt, but there was nothing. And where it fell, I saw it, I felt the shock – I felt it, that’s what woke me up: a shock and a sort of weight, and a gap in the wall as big as a door. So then, the body’s reaction, but instantaneous (that is, without reflecting or anything), instantaneous, was... “Oh, Lord,” like this (Mother opens her arms upward), smiling. Not at all frightened or... Then I took a good look and wondered, “Am I hurt anywhere?” There was nothing.... Because I kept the two together: the state of vision and the physical state at the same time; in the state of vision I wanted to know whether I’d been hurt (it hadn’t done anything), and in both states the reaction was the same, like this (same gesture, arms open), with a smile. So it shows that... the thing is really done.

Later this morning, when I was fully awake, I wondered, “How could I get that? How could that being do it?” (Because it did take place, I received it! [Mother laughs] He wasn’t stopped from doing it.) Then the answer was very clear: it was for your body to learn that it’s really and effectively protected, even if something takes place.

It was interesting.

That black being, I see him very often.... It must be the symbol of the force opposed in the world (not only on the earth but in the world) to the Action I have been given to do. He is associated with my body. A tall, tall black being, all black....

There was a long story This morning I still remembered; now I don’t.

But it was interesting. It’s the first time such a thing has happened to me; it’s the first time someone has managed to harm me in the subtle physical – he didn’t harm me, but he pulled off his attack.

(silence)

But it’s odd.... For instance, when the body received the thing (there was a shock), not for a minute did it have... (fear, there’s no question of it), but not for a minute did it say, “Ah, what a disgusting thing to do!” – nothing, nothing, the SAME smile, everywhere....

That’s the point it has reached, you understand: a sort of awareness that whatever happens, happens by the divine Will, that it’s ALWAYS for the best, and it’s only human stupidity, lack of understanding, shortsightedness that make us say, “Oh, what a misfortune! Oh...”

It’s all MARVELOUSLY arranged.

When the body is aware of that, then it’s fine.... It’s far from having reached perfection – to begin with, it’s... I don’t know if it’s being transformed, that’s not visible, but at any rate its functioning depends on the higher Consciousness, it no longer depends on the ordinary mechanism (that’s taking place gradually). Well, even in the middle of that, there’s a sort of smiling trust as a result of which, even when there’s some pain, some discomfort, it doesn’t matter – it doesn’t matter. There is the sense of this Divine Presence, always, everywhere, every moment. That doesn’t go away.

(silence) Oh, you know, we think we’re very intelligent, but... (laughing) how poorly we understand! It’s like a little piece cut out of the Whole, so we no longer see anything. Now it’s beginning to be better.

18. October 1969 – Questions from the healer to Mother

(A.R.) I had two hernias. I cured one and kept the other deliberately, for what I seek is the greatest opening of Consciousness a human being can obtain. If my Consciousness widens sufficiently, my hernia and the illness of my [paralyzed] friend will automatically heal. The day when I wake up without any trace of illness, I will have on my body the proof that my Consciousness has opened wide. What I want is to be able to actually say, “I Am.”

Theoretically it is true, but that is clearly his own affair. Let him go through his experience. One has no right to intervene in any way.

(A.R.) I wondered if I might not be more useful to Mother, to Her work, than by being here, meditating the whole day?

No, I don’t see things like that. One must have total suppleness towards the Divine Consciousness in oneself. Insofar as one lets it express itself all alone, it is this Consciousness that has one do things.

(A.R.) India needs water. What is necessary is to obtain harmonious waterfalls, according to the law of harmony, which will bring a sufficient amount of water for vegetation, but without causing damage. I think it is feasible. If it is not feasible, nothing is. But should one do it? Should one, for instance, divert a storm?... All one has to do is ask. So should one ask the Divine Force to act one way rather than another?

In any case, the Divine Force will only do what it wills, and it is the Divine Force Itself which, in him, aspires to divert the storm.

18. October 1969 – The Proportion of the Mind

And what has enabled him to “hold” it is that the mind isn’t developed. The proportion of the mind in the combination of the being is sufficiently... poor not to intervene.

It’s like that. For a PERFECT realization, the entire being must be illumined; but for an initial realization, it’s probably easier for a body that doesn’t have a highly developed mind. Since he came here, I’ve looked a good deal, and I am fully convinced of it. That’s why he... You see, for us who have gone up to the highest degree of mental potentiality, it’s through that highest degree that we went beyond – it’s when the mind realized its highest degree that it abdicated – and that’s very good for the integral realization, but generally the body is too accustomed to obeying the mind, not supple enough to be transformed. That’s the reason why my mind was sent away.... But that’s not a process which can be... recommended to others. Because nine people out of ten would die.

18. October 1969 – Great Passivity for the Force is needed

And for the Force to be able to go through rapidly so as to reach the body, a GREAT passivity is needed. I can see that: every time there is a pressure so as to act on some part of the body or other, it always begins with an absolute passivity, which is... the “perfection of inertia,” you understand? What inertia imperfectly represents – it’s the perfection of that.... Something with no activity of its own – which is VERY difficult precisely for those who have a great mental development, very difficult. Because its whole life long, the body has worked to be in that state of receptivity to the mind, and that state, which is what brought about its obedience, docility and so on, is what needs to be abolished.

How can I explain?... The development through the mind is a constant and general awakening of the whole being – even the most material being – an awakening as a result of which there is also something that’s the opposite of sleep. But to receive the supreme Force, what’s needed is, on the contrary, the equivalent of stillness – the stillness of sleep, but an ABSOLUTELY CONSCIOUS sleep, absolutely conscious. The body feels the difference. It feels the difference to such a point that... for example, at night I lie down and I am like that, for hours I remain like that, and if after a while I drop into ordinary sleep, my body wakes up with a dreadful anguish! Then it slowly goes back to that State. That anguish, I feel it from time to time – it goes away instantly as soon as the body recaptures the true attitude, which is a state of stillness, but absolutely conscious. “Stillness,” I don’t know how to explain that... It’s almost the opposite of inertia in stillness.

That’s what now makes me understand why the creation began with inertia. So then, we had to recover that state (Mother draws an immense curve) after going through all the states of consciousness. And that’s what has given us... (laughing) for us, it’s a fine mess! But when it’s done deliberately, it’s not a mess any longer.

18. October 1969 – A complete Stillness & absolute Aspiration

That’s what it has managed to get: a complete stillness and an INTENSE aspiration. And it’s when stillness is left without aspiration that it falls into a dreadful anguish which instantly wakes it up. That’s it, you understand: an INTENSE aspiration. And it’s absolutely still, still within, as if all the cells grew still.... That must be it: what we call intense aspiration must be the supramental vibration. It must be the divine Vibration, the true divine vibration. I have often said that to myself.

But if even for five minutes the body falls into the state of inertia – stillness without aspiration – it’s woken up by an anguish as if it were about to die! To that point, you understand. For it, stillness is... Yes, it feels that the highest vibration, the vibration of the true Consciousness, is SO INTENSE that it’s... it’s the equivalent of the inertia of stillness – with an intensity that’s not perceptible (for us). That intensity is so great that, for us, it’s the equivalent of inertia.

That’s what is now being established.

That’s what made the body understand (because now it understands) the process of the creation.... We could almost say that it began with a state of perfection, but an unconscious perfection, and that the creation must pass from that state of unconscious perfection to a state of conscious perfection, and in between is imperfection.

Words are stupid, but you understand.

(silence)

You know, the impression is of being on the very edge of understanding. But it’s not at all a mental understanding, not at all (we’ve had that one, but it’s nothing; it’s nothing, it’s zero). It’s a LIVED understanding. And that the mind can’t have – it can’t. The impression is that only the body – receptive, open, at any rate partially transformed – is capable of having the understanding; the understanding of the creation of what we call the creation: why and how, the two things. And it’s not at all something thought, not something felt: it’s something lived, and that’s the only way to know... It’s lived. It’s a consciousness.

You know, when that understanding comes – it comes, and it does like this (gesture like a luminous swelling), it comes like that, then it fades away, then it comes back, and then again it fades away; but when it comes it’s so evident, so simple that you wonder how you could manage not to know it!

Some more time is needed.... How much time? I don’t know But the notion of time, too, is quite arbitrary.

We always try to express our experiences in the old state of consciousness, that’s the misery! We think it’s necessary, indispensable – and it’s stultifying. It’s a terrible hindrance.

(silence)

And all, but all that people have said, all that they’ve written, all that they’ve taught is only one way of putting things. It’s only trying to make oneself understood, but it’s impossible. And to think (laughing) how much people have fought over such relative things!...

(long silence)

Looking at what happens from one day to the next, the body’s experience is like this.... In a certain way, at certain times, it’s in the consciousness of Immortality, and then, out of influence (also out of habit now and then), it falls back into the consciousness of mortality, and that’s really... For it now, as soon as it falls back into the consciousness of mortality, there’s a dreadful anguish; it’s only when it emerges from that, when it enters the true consciousness, that it passes. I understand why some people, yogis, spoke of the unreality of the world, because, for the consciousness of Immortality, the consciousness of mortality is an unreal absurdity. And it’s like this (Mother slips the fingers of one hand between the fingers of the other, showing an alternation between the two consciousnesses). So now it’s like this, now it’s like that. And the other state, the state of Immortality, is immutably peaceful, tranquil, with... like lightning-fast waves, so rapid that they seem still. It’s like this: complete motionlessness (apparently) within a tremendous Movement. But then, as soon as the other state comes, it’s all the ordinary notions that come back, that is to say... really in its present state, that gives it the anguish and suffering of a falsehood. But it’s still like this (same to-and-fro gesture)...

The only, only way out that is effective is in fact self-abandon, surrender. It’s not expressed in words or idea or anything, but it’s a state, a state of vibration, in which ONLY the Divine Vibration has value. Then – then things get back in order.

But all that, the moment you talk about it...

But note that it’s constant: it happens in the night, it happens in the morning (mornings are generally very difficult), and then there are other times when... (immense, even gesture, with a smile) there are no more problems – all problems are over: no more problems, no more difficulties, nothing anymore.

(silence)

There’s a background (it’s mostly that), a background of unconscious Negation which is still behind everything, but everything; it’s still there everywhere: you eat or breathe – you receive that Negation.... For everything to be transformed, it’s still a colossal work. But when you are on the “other side,” as we might call it (it’s not “sides”), in the other state, it seems so natural that you wonder why things aren’t like that, why they seem so difficult. And then, as soon as you’re back to this other side, it’s... (Mother takes her head in her hands)... The mixture is still there, undeniably.

Truly, the ordinary state, the old state, is consciously (meaning it’s a conscious perception), it’s death and suffering. And then in the other state, death and suffering appear to be... absolutely unreal – there you are.

The body seems to be very highly conscious of... (what can I call it?) a sort of stupidity. Yes, a sort of enduring and stupid goodwill. It’s very conscious of that. And it’s led to understand that this state was indispensable for the work to be done, that someone who... (naturally, the least bad will is out of question), that without this sort of... (it’s not unconsciousness), this sort of ignorant simplicity (something like that), without that, endurance would become very difficult.

It doesn’t ask any questions, but now and then, it’s conscious of its state of mediocrity, and so, quite naturally, it wonders how it happens to have been chosen to do this work? And it clearly appears to be a sort of goodwill arising from its sense of insignificance.... The least sense of capacity and worth takes away all endurance. But it doesn’t have that at all, so that enables it to go on.

No impatience. That’s the main thing: no impatience.

A trusting patience.

Ultimately, for everyone all is as well as it can be. It’s always the old movements that get impatient.... Of course, when you see the whole, impatience was certainly created to counteract inertia – but it’s over, that time is past.

25. October 1969 – When the body feels itself

The state now is such that when the body FEELS ITSELF (feels itself, that is to say, is aware of being a body), INSTANTLY there’s a discomfort, whatever the condition. Even when it feels in a state of adoration or aspiration or... it’s accompanied by discomfort. And only when there’s no more awareness at all of its separate existence does it feel comfortable. So then, the normal state is silence, stillness, but... (the image isn’t correct – how can I explain?), you see, the Presence, it’s not that it flows through, but when it radiates like this (gesture), radiates through an activity, then everything is fine and there’s no more at all the sensation of “this [the body] through which”: this through which the Divine flows – there isn’t. It’s like this (immutable gesture), still and nonexistent, without any self-awareness, aware only of... the Divine Action, like that. Then everything is fine. And the minute there’s even a slight impression of the Thing flowing “through,” discomfort comes. You understand, it has become a very acute state.

See, I might say (it sounds like literature) that in a certain state, in that state in which it no longer feels itself and only the awareness of the Divine remains, there’s the sense of an Immortality, of Eternity; and if there’s the least sensation of “something in which” the Divine manifests, it absolutely becomes the sense of death – you instantly become mortal again. And acute, you know, acute like that. But then, it’s very subtle, because... the sensation (sensation or perception or feeling) of “I” has completely disappeared, all the time, all the time – really so, completely; it’s the “something,” the something which is still a little different, and that becomes terribly painful – the body is perfectly at case only when it no longer feels itself.

It’s hard to explain, but that’s how it is.

25. October 1969 – Innumerable layers of Consciousness

It must be that... There are innumerable layers of consciousness. The development (the universal development) has progressively enabled us to become conscious of each layer; the more developed one is, the more one perceives the differences between layers. And it’s only when one is conscious of ALL the layers of consciousness and when they form nothing but a unity (but a unity conscious of its multiplicity), it’s only then that what’s in the deepest depths... the Supreme Consciousness can manifest fully. And in bodies, there are still layers that aren’t fully conscious; there are still layers that remain as a residue of all that preceded: the mineral, the vegetable, the animal, all that. So the whole fully conscious part of the cells is fully illumined, but... Besides, one just has to see (Mother shows the skin of her hands, visibly untransformed).... It has become EXTREMELY sensitive, the slightest shock causes a... It has become extremely sensitive.... It appears not to have the same “density”... but the appearance is exactly the same. Those who have an inner vision see something [another form of Mother], but that’s only because they have the capacity of inner vision. So that’s it [i.e., the residue]. You understand, in the consciousness of the cells, there is the consciousness which is “internal” to the cells, so to speak, and which is fully, fully conscious, but there’s something that remains like this (Mother gestures to show a crust-like covering the residue). So then, that work a man like A.R. hasn’t done, you see: it’s a sort of hazy general consciousness. He himself is conscious of something “stronger than his body,” and which “uses” his body, it seems to me.... In the world, it’s very useful and can give birth to all sorts of things. But he isn’t ready for the transformation, you understand – himself, his body. He has a sort of inner certitude that it CAN be, but... I don’t know... unless the Lord wants it to take place that way; that would be amusing – really, I would find it very amusing!