November 1969

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01. November 1969 – Message to the healer

It is in the silence of complete identification with the Divine that true understanding is obtained.

05. November 1969 – Mother's work gets permanently disturbed

I get some very impertinent letters from people asking me why I did this or why I did that (I’m absolutely indifferent to it: when I read that, I laugh – it’s all the same to me), but I see, I see the atmosphere: there’s a progression of trust and dependence, a very rapid and great progression. And there is at the same time... all the little egos which rebel and are furious! But it’s very good because it comes from the Pressure of the Consciousness that wants things to be... open.

For instance, some people had rancor for a long time, without saying anything – they are forced to say it. That’s how it is. There’s a very strong pressure for the transformation. And naturally, that’s why I am flooded with people.... Because there’s one point on which I don’t yield, it’s the hours of so-called sleep; from 8 at night till about 8 in the morning, it makes twelve hours during which the inner work can be done, and that I don’t want to touch. Of course, twelve hours is a lot: it’s half of the day So the other twelve hours, it’s an avalanche. But I am holding on to that, because those are the hours when the most important work is done. (It’s a little less, it’s really like that between 9 and 5 in the morning, rather; that’s really when the work is concentrated on the transformation.) It’s not that the rest of the time is a denial, not at all: that state of consciousness is immutable. Basically, I don’t think there are many minutes, even in a day’s twenty-four hours, when the body isn’t conscious of the divine Presence – that’s how the body is. But the daytime hours are spent in action, they’re for others; the night hours are for its own transformation.

So these hours of action are like that.... Every day, I see at least three or four people whom it was quite unnecessary to see; so that’s noted, but it’s not a lot; for most people, something is done, it’s really something getting done. It stirs, you understand – it stirs. At times, there are even quite astonishing things.

08. November 1969 – Strong pressure of the consciousness

The Pressure is very strong, and some people even take it to be discomfort. I made the experiment on my body: the moment of the change of authority – you know, it goes from one authority to another – is always difficult, and if one isn’t aware one can take it to be the sign of an illness, you understand, the beginning of an illness. I have noticed that with many people here, in the Ashram, it’s like that. They think they’re ill – it’s not that, it’s the uncertainty... it’s the cells which no longer know whom they must obey. So if there is the conscious Pressure, it’s over very soon. But I’ve seen things... If all those things were told in detail, they would truly look like a multitude of small miracles; it’s not that, it’s quite simply that the Consciousness is working, but instead of stretching over a very long time, it gets done very fast. It starts as a great pain here or there, something completely disorganized, but if one remains very still and calls the Consciousness, then... it melts, it disappears – but “just like that,” in a few minutes. I have that all the time, the experience takes place four or five times a day Yet, there’s still a lot of work to be done. And the appearance (it’s perfectly obvious) will be the LAST thing to change, it will take perhaps much more time than the inner change.

At the last attack, I stooped, and it hasn’t gone (at one point, I even thought that when A.R. came, he might be able to do something – it didn’t do anything at all... the time hadn’t come). Then, quite recently, two or three times, there came the consciousness of straightening up – I was able to straighten up quite well, but... it came as if to tell me, “See, this is how it will take place.” Then it left, because the time hadn’t come yet. It left.

The visible change seems to be meant to be the last, and... God knows when it will come.

The inner change is being made. But for those who aren’t aware, it’s deceptive, because it may even begin with a rather strong pain.

The physical consciousness (if we can call it “consciousness”: the consciousness contained in the cells – not deep down, but the consciousness that makes the cells function) is accustomed to effort, struggle, misery, defeat... so accustomed – that’s quite universal. In people, it’s only their mental consciousness (and often, when they are more advanced, their vital consciousness) that holds out; but their physical consciousness tends to foresee catastrophe, so accustomed it is: the end, you know, that end which for centuries and centuries was inescapable.... It weighs down. It’s very difficult. It takes a very slow and constant work to replace that sort of habit... of defeat, basically, with a... It mustn’t be a will, it must be a faith; there must be faith. So then, for that faith to settle, first the cells must be wholly, completely surrendered, that is, constantly turned towards the Supreme with... “Let Your Will be done,” whatever it is. “It doesn’t concern me, it’s not my business: let Your Will be done.” So when that is well settled, little by little the true consciousness can come; the true consciousness that truth is Harmony, truth is Progress, truth is Light, truth is... Then, little by little, it comes. But it’s a long work.

Only, as I said in the last “Notes,” what is learned is learned, there are no more fluctuations. But, of course, there are lots of cells. Scientifically, do you know how many?

No, it must be billions.

Yes, something like that. And one feels them: some vibrate and are luminous, but they’re swamped in the mass....

I told you last time that when I was at the piano, I noticed that my hands were very conscious, that is to say, extremely receptive, they found it perfectly natural – there was no connection with the body consciousness, they were moved by the higher Consciousness.... The hands have had a special education. But you understand...

And there is a part, the part of the body most in contact with outside (Mother touches the region of the mouth and throat), this part, this center which is in contact with outside, all this... oh, it’s difficult, very difficult. Now and then with an aspiration, there is a beginning of change, and then it causes a sort of catastrophe! Choking and coughing and... horrible. Then I am obliged to calm things down – and wait. It has to take time. The organism wouldn’t have the power to withstand the disorder that creates.

Moreover, Sri Aurobindo told me straight out, he said to me, “We can’t hope it will take less than two years.”

Two hundred years! We can’t hope it will take less than two hundred years. He said, “Normally, it should take three hundred years.” He himself had begun it, of course, and he knew – he knew very well, I saw it when he left: the consciousness which came out of his body and straight into mine... quite a lot of it! Yet that didn’t prevent him from being ill.

It’s a big task.

But this Consciousness is very active. And it’s active to make one conscious; so one with a bad character gets a still worse character, and one who is wicked gets still more wicked! That’s how it is. And one who is sensitive gets still more sensitive. That makes life extremely difficult, extremely...

It’s obvious that time – time, that sort of work of Nature which seemed to be a ceaseless waste of time and of everything – may have been a charity It was so as not to upset things! I SEE that. I see it: you understand, confusion is growing increasingly acute, difficulties increasingly difficult – naturally, the consciousness is clearer and clearer, it’s very clear, oh, very clear... That’s really interesting. I’ll look at someone, I’ll hear a work, I’ll be told some affair, and instantly the complete picture is there (gesture as a film just before Mother’s eyes), along with everyone’s impressions; and if I am very quiet and attentive, the consequences, what’s going to happen.

(silence)

I told you that I did what Sri Aurobindo had done, that is, being absolutely passive, with the aspiration – living ONLY in the aspiration to unite with and manifest the Divine: the ONLY occupation. But then, I saw that life was getting more and more disorganized! So I decided that on certain points, what I saw as being the true thing, I would impose. And I must say that the Power is really powerful!

(Mother laughs) See the result! I decided. I was expecting more resistance, but there was none. We’ll see if now it continues...

12. November 1969 – Quotations and Symbols

In life the most precious things are among those you do not see with your physical eyes. (Mother)

Every truth, however true in itself, yet taken apart from others which at once limit and complete it, becomes a snare to bind the intellect and a misleading dogma. For in reality, each is one thread of a complex weft and no thread must be taken apart from the weft. (Sri Aurobindo)

All movements of evolution are expressed as a means of transport: ship, train, car, anything. (Mother)

12. November 1969 – Mother's returning pain from 1915

But recently (quite recently, once yesterday, and once last Friday), I had that sort of... (what’s the word? I don’t know what they call it, but he thinks it’s a “disease” – I said, “I have no diseases!”)... it’s the nerves, the nerves which are nervously attacked by others’ nervous atmosphere – it results in almost intolerable sufferings. Since I settled here, I had never had that, it was Sri Aurobindo who took it away from me (I had explained it to him: it had happened to me when I went back from India to France, and it was rather serious). But since I came here, never. And it came back the other day through someone who was here and who caused it. Yet that someone doesn’t know at all and has no CONSCIOUS ill will. And yesterday again, with someone else, it was the same thing. So I had to... put the Lord on the nerves forcefully – it took me more than half or three quarters of an hour to succeed in restoring order. Then I said to myself, “Goodness! The battle is getting serious.”

It’s a “disease.” They call it a disease of the nerves: all the nerves are sensitized and suffer terribly. When I first had it, I could no longer eat, no longer sleep, no longer move, no longer...

And that was because... I had done something mad: I went back to France after leaving my psychic being here; so it seized me as soon as I was far enough from the atmosphere; as soon as I entered the Mediterranean, it began. And it was very serious.

Now and then, there were attacks like that, but when I came back here, Sri Aurobindo drove it away completely (that was long ago). It’s only last Friday that it came, and yesterday... I hope it won’t recur.

But that’s the battle.... It’s like what’s happening there for P.L.: everywhere it’s a battle. Especially in the vital, especially, still more than in the mind; in the mind, there’s a movement of understanding, but in the vital... a rage, you know, a rage.

We must hold out. That’s what I said to myself: we just have to hold out, there’s nothing else to be done.

And the only way is... you understand, it’s to cling to the Supreme Consciousness (Mother clenches her two fists), and to cling to such a point that It alone exists – not to be directly conscious of the surrounding ill will. That’s very important. You see, there is NOTHING but the Supreme, all the rest doesn’t exist, isn’t true. Like this (same gesture with clenched fists). So then, one must do like that, hold on like that, as if you stood on a peak surrounded by attacking waves.

You understand, the consciousness can no longer feel – it sees, it is aware, but it can no longer feel, that’s over. But the physical is still... I thought that was over, but it can still feel.

It’s vital ill will, everywhere. It makes people unpleasant, angry, with reactions...

We only have to hold out, that’s all – nothing to be done, there’s nothing else to be done.

If we aren’t capable, then everything has to be done all over again!

(silence)

It’s the possibility for the physical cells to bear out the physical transformation.

That’s why... that’s why there is death! (laughing) When one can’t bear up, one dies.

It’s not a joke, you know. But it’s interesting.

It’s interesting because, I remember, I had already been doing the yoga; I already had an experience greater than most people have when I had that difficulty with the nerves (it was in 1915), I remember how it was and how I held out. And it has come back after... 1915 and now it’s 1969, that is to say more than fifty years later. And I really felt the difference in my body, really. The first day it came (I should tell you that it’s one of the pains regarded as hardest to bear), when it came, the only... there was nothing but, “Ah, You.” That’s all. Like that. And clinging like this (same gesture with clenched fists), not moving anymore. Those are pains that prevent you from breathing, prevent you from moving; they’re extreme, all the nerves go awry; well, before, I knew, I would call, but I was somehow (at least partly) identified with the pain, whereas this time, the reaction wasn’t one of suffering – the suffering was there, but no reaction of... oh, what might be expressed as that wonderful “self-pity” people always have. Well, that was completely gone, there was only, “Ah!... You, You, You, You, You...” And there was a pressure on the person who was there – who by the way wasn’t aware of anything, neither the other day nor yesterday (the first time, it was a woman; yesterday it was a man): they didn’t notice anything.

But I said to myself, “Well, well, things are getting serious!” The vital world has started rebelling.

That’s it: before going to sleep, you should concentrate with the will – an obstinate will – of being completely identified with the Supreme Consciousness, like this (same gesture with clenched fists), whatever happens. So the circumstances will be the same, but instead of that discomfort at being chased, you see everything with... you see how the Consciousness is with you to help you in all circumstances. Then it becomes very interesting. Very interesting.

15. November 1969 – Things are moving fast!

I have an impression that there’s a pressure for things to move fast. And the physical nature has been accustomed to regard discomforts as something to beware of, otherwise... Through observation, I’ve noticed that many discomforts have a precise purpose, in order to act on a particular thing and make it change. I told you about it last time. Since those two occurrences [of nerve pains], it hasn’t come back at all, and I’ve had proof that it brought about a considerable change in one of the persons; the other, I don’t know yet, I haven’t seen him again....

In other words, the physical is a little timorous by nature. But now it’s learning – it’s learning.

It also has a sort of distrust for anything new in its functioning, which means that if the functioning we regard as “normal” is changed, it has a distrust, it wonders whether... I don’t know if all physical bodies are like that, but I notice that with others, the least of those things I now have all the time, brr! they make such a fuss! As though they were going to fall very sick. So I think it’s rather widespread. At first I started scolding this body a lot, telling it, “You’re a coward!” (Mother laughs) But, poor thing, I think that’s quite widespread.

Now its spontaneous attitude, whatever may happen (whether good, bad, difficult, anything), instantly: an aspiration, a call, an expression of trust, which isn’t put into words but is really... “May Your Will be done” – and luminously. And I have the impression things are moving fast – they MUST move fast.

(silence)

From the point of view of the attitude towards circumstances and others’ character, there’s that wonderful atavism of ours, which is so “natural” that we don’t even notice it, and now... For years I’ve looked and looked, and well, you know, when you were born into the bourgeois middle class, you’re awfully bourgeois! And you don’t even notice it! (Mother laughs) It’s so ridiculous!... Here, with the Indians, I’ve noticed that they have the atavism of their caste; even when they have deliberately left their caste, they still have that atavism. That’s how I began to see. And then, I realized it was exactly the same thing with me! You were born into the middle class and you’re awfully bourgeois, awfully – ridiculously!

It goes away in a smile.

15. November 1969 – Auroville

Who took the initiative of Auroville?

The supreme Lord.

Who is participating in the financing of Auroville?

The supreme Lord.

If one wants to live in Auroville, what does it mean for oneself?

Striving towards the supreme perfection.

In order to live in Auroville, must one be a student of yoga?

All life is a yoga. Thus one cannot live without practicing the supreme yoga.

Will family life continue in Auroville?

If one has not gone beyond that.

Can one keep religion in Auroville?

If one has not gone beyond that.

Can one be atheistic in Auroville?

If one has not gone beyond that.

Will there be a social life in Auroville?

If one has not gone beyond that.

Will there be compulsory community activities in Auroville?

Nothing is compulsory.

Will money circulate in Auroville?

No, it is only with outside that Auroville will have money dealings.

Who will be the owner of lands and buildings?

The supreme Lord.

In which languages will teaching be given?

In all languages spoken on earth.

October 8, 1969

Will a day come when there will be no more poor people and no more suffering in the world?

That is absolutely certain for all those who understand Sri Aurobindo’s teaching and have faith in him.

It is with the intention of creating such a place that we want to found Auroville.

But for this realization to be possible, everyone must make effort to transform himself, for most of the sufferings of human beings are the result of their own physical and moral errors.

November 8, 1969

How do you think there will be no more suffering in Auroville – as long as people who come to live in Auroville are men from this same world, born with the same weaknesses and the same faults?

I never thought there would be no more suffering in Auroville, because men, as they are, love suffering and call it, while at the same time cursing it.

But we will endeavor to teach them to truly love peace and to try and practice equanimity.

It is involuntary poverty and begging that I was referring to.

Life in Auroville will be organized in such a way that that will not exist – if beggars come from outside, either they will have to go or they will be hospitalized and taught the joy of work.

November 9, 1969

What is the fundamental difference between the Ashram’s ideal and Auroville’s?

There is no fundamental difference in the attitude with regard to the future and the service of the Divine.

But people in the Ashram are regarded as having dedicated their lives to the yoga (except naturally for the students, who are here only for their studies and who have not been asked to choose in life).

While in Auroville, the goodwill to carry out a collective experience for the progress of mankind is alone sufficient to get admitted.

19. November 1969 – Mother's Vision

This morning about 8, I could have told you many things....

There was a day when many problems came up, following something that took place... then this morning (at the end of the night) I had the experience which was the explanation. And for two hours, I lived in an absolutely clear perception (not a thought, a clear perception) of... the why and the how of the creation. It was so luminous, so clear! It was irrefutable. it lasted for at least four or five hours, then it settled; little by little the intensity and clarity of the experience diminished.... And also, I have just seen lots of people, so... now it’s hard to explain.

But everything had become so limpid! All opposite theories, all that was down below (Mother looks down from above), and all explanations, all that Sri Aurobindo said, certain things too that Théon had said, all that, as a result of the experience, found its own place and was absolutely clear. At the time I could have told you, now it’s going to be a bit hard.

You understand, many things Sri Aurobindo had said remained... in spite of all that one has read, all the theories and explanations, something remained (how can I put it?) hard to explain (it’s not “explain,” that’s very small). For instance, suffering and the will to cause suffering, all that side of the Manifestation. There was indeed a sort of foreknowledge of the original identity of hate and love, because they went to the two extremes, but for all the rest, it was difficult. Today it was so luminously simple, that’s it, so obvious!... (Mother looks at a note she wrote) The words are nothing. And I wrote with a pencil that writes badly...

I don’t know if you can make out these words. They represented something very precise for me; now they’re nothing but words.

It was the vision of the creation: the vision, the understanding, the why, the how, the whither, everything was there, everything together, and clear, clear, clear.... I tell you, I was in a golden glory – luminous, dazzling.

You see, there was the earth as representative center of the creation, and there was the identity of the inertia of the stone (of what’s most inert) and... (Mother again tries to read)

I don’t know whether it will come.

I remember that around 7:30 this morning (that’s when I wrote) I called you in thought, I said, “If you were here, I could tell you.” It was a VISION.

(Mother remains concentrated for a long time)

I might put it this way (for the convenience of expression, I’ll say “the Supreme” and “the creation”): In the Supreme it’s a unity that contains all possibilities perfectly united, without differentiation. The creation is, so to speak, the projection of all that makes up that unity, by dividing all opposites, that is to say, by separating (that’s what was caught by those who said that creation is separation), by separating: for instance day and night, white and black, evil and good, and so on (all that is our explanation). All together, all of it together is a perfect unity, immutable and... indissoluble. The creation is the separation of all that “makes up” this unity – we might call it the division of the consciousness – the division of the consciousness, which starts from unity conscious of its unity to arrive at unity conscious of its multiplicity IN UNITY.

So then, this route is what, for us – for the fragments – is expressed as space and time.

And for us as we are, each point of this Consciousness has the possibility of being conscious of itself AND conscious of the original Unity And that’s the work now being accomplished, that is to say, each infinitesimal element of this Consciousness, while retaining this state of consciousness, is now recapturing the total original state of consciousness – the result is the original Consciousness conscious of its Unity AND conscious of the whole play: all the innumerable elements of this Unity So for us, it gets expressed as the sense of time: going from the Inconscient to this state of consciousness. And the Inconscient is the projection of the primeval Unity (if we may say so – all those words are completely stupid), of the essential unity unconscious of its own Unity – that’s the Inconscient. And this Inconscient is growing increasingly conscious in beings who are conscious of their infinitesimal existence and AT THE SAME TIME – through what we call progress or evolution or transformation – who manage to be conscious of the original Unity.

And that, as it was seen, explained everything.

Words are nothing.

Everything, everything, from the most material thing to the most ethereal, EVERYTHING was included in it, clear, clear, clear – a vision.

And evil, what we call “evil,” has its INDISPENSABLE place in the whole. But it would no longer be felt as evil the minute one became conscious of That – necessarily Evil is that infinitesimal element looking on its infinitesimal consciousness; but because consciousness is essentially ONE, it recaptures, regains the Consciousness of Unity – both together. And that’s what, THAT IS WHAT has to be realized. It’s a marvelous thing. I had the vision: at the time, there was the vision of THAT.... And the beginnings (is it “beginnings”?), what they call in English the outskirts, what’s farthest from the central realization, becomes the multiplicity of things, also the multiplicity of sensations, feelings, everything – the multiplicity of consciousness. And that action of separation is what created, what constantly creates the world, and what at the same time creates everything: suffering, happiness, all, all, all that was created, through its... what we might call “diffusion” – but it’s absurd, it’s not a diffusion: we live in the sense of space, so we say “diffusion” and concentration,” but it’s nothing like that.

I understood why Théon used to say that we are at the time of “Equilibrium.” That is to say, it’s through the equilibrium of all those innumerable points of consciousness and all those opposites that one recaptures the central Consciousness.... All that one can say is stupid – just while I am saying it, I see how stupid it is; but there’s no other way It’s something... something SO CONCRETE, so true, you understand, so absolutely... THAT.

While I was living it, it was... But I might not have been able to say it at the time. This (Mother points to her note), I was obliged to take a paper and write it, but I don’t even remember what I put.... The first thing written was this:

Stability and change

It was the idea of the original Stability (if we may say so) which, in Manifestation, is expressed as inertia. And the unfolding is expressed as change. All right. Then came:

Inertia and transformation

But it’s gone, the meaning is gone-the words had a meaning!

Eternity and progress

Those were the opposites (those three things).

Then there was a pause (Mother draws a line below the triple opposition), then a Pressure again, and I wrote this:

Unity =...

(three illegible words follow)

That was the much truer expression of the experience, but it’s illegible – I think it’s deliberately illegible. To be able to read, one would need to have the experience.

I am not the one who chose the words, so they must have a special force (when I say “I,” I mean the consciousness which is there [gesture above]). It’s not this consciousness, it was something exerting a pressure and forcing me to write.

Unity = power and repose combined.

It’s the idea that these two, combined, restored that state of consciousness which was trying to express itself.

It was on the scale of the universe – not on the scale of the individual.

I draw a line between the two to express that they didn’t come together.

I remember, I had written the two (“power” and “repose”) and this [the equals sign] to express that they were together, then the word “combined” came.

This should be put in the Agenda.

All human reactions, even the highest, the purest, the noblest, it all seemed so childish!... There’s a sentence Sri Aurobindo wrote somewhere, which kept coming back to me (one day, I forget where, he wrote something, a rather long sentence), and in it, there was, “And when I feel jealous, I know that the old man is still there.” I read it more than thirty years ago maybe – yes, about thirty years ago – and I remember that when I read jealous, I thought, “How can Sri Aurobindo be jealous!” Then, thirty years later, I understood what he meant by being jealous-it’s not at all what people call jealous, it’s quite another state of consciousness, which I saw clearly. And this morning, it came back: And when I feel jealous, I know that the old man is still there. This morning, I understood. Being “jealous,” for him, isn’t what we call being jealous.... It’s this infinitesimal fragment which we call the individual, this infinitesimal parcel of consciousness, which puts itself at the center, which becomes the center of the perception. And then it perceives things coming like this (gesture to oneself) or going like this (gesture away from oneself), and all that doesn’t come to it gives it a sort of perception that Sri Aurobindo called “jealousy”: the perception that things go towards diffusion instead of coming towards centralization. That’s what he called being jealous. So then, he said, “When I feel jealous” (that’s what he meant), “I know that the old man is still there,” which means that that infinitesimal fragment of consciousness can STILL be at the center of itself: it’s the center of action, the center of perception, the center of sensation....

(silence)

But I could note (that’s the time when I wash up, when I take my breakfast, write the “birthday cards” and all that), I could note that all the work could be done without the consciousness being altered. That’s not what altered my consciousness: what veiled my consciousness was seeing people; that was when I began being here and doing what I do every day: projecting the divine Consciousness on people.

But it has come back... (what could I call it?) on the fringe, I mean that instead of BEING in it, when you asked me I began perceiving it. But the sensation is no longer there – there was nothing left BUT THAT, you understand! There was nothing left but that, and everything, everything had changed – in appearance, in meaning, in...

That must be the supramental consciousness, I think that’s what the supramental consciousness is.

There are no OPPOSITES. No opposites – not even contradictions, I say, no opposites. It’s that Unity, it’s LIVING in that Unity And it’s not expressed in thoughts and words. I tell you, it was... a limitless immensity and a light... a motionless light, and at the same time a well-being... without even the appreciation of a well-being.

Now I am convinced that’s what the supramental consciousness is.

And necessarily, necessarily, it must little by little change appearances.

(long silence)

There are no words that can express the magnificence of the Grace: how everything is arranged for things to move as fast as possible. Individuals are miserable insofar as they aren’t conscious of “that,” as they take a false position with regard to what happens to them.

Every instant there’s nothing else! When it was there, there was nothing else.

And yet, I tell you, that’s the time when I am materially very busy – I wash up, I take my breakfast, write cards – all that was being done, and it didn’t disturb in the LEAST; on the contrary, I think I did things better than usual.... I don’t know how to explain. And it wasn’t like something “added on”: it was perfectly natural. Only, with differences like this one: I write cards, and at the time of writing them (they prepare for me notes with the names, dates and so on), I am generally obliged to ask who the person is (there are very few whom I know in the multitude of cards I write); this morning, I didn’t ask anything: I knew. That’s the difference: I didn’t need to ask, I knew what I had to write, and that was it, without any question.

Life as it is can be lived in that consciousness – but then one lives it well!... One doesn’t need to change anything: what needs to be changed changes by itself quite naturally.

I’ll give you an example. For a few days I had difficulties with Z and there was a sort of need to exert a pressure on him so he would rectify a few of his movements. Today he made at least four or five mistakes (they weren’t perceptible, in the sense that I didn’t have a sensation of them: it was taking place there, like that, some distance away), but he was conscious of them in a COMPLETELY different way from usually, and he admitted it (which he never did before), and in the end he said he was changing (which is true). And all of it not only without one word, but without one movement of consciousness: simply the Pressure. So there. That’s a proof.... Everything would be done automatically, like an imposition of the Truth, without any need to intervene: simply remaining in the true consciousness, that’s all, it’s enough.

There.

But then, despite everything, the body retained some slight consciousness of its needs all these days (though it’s not concerned with itself – I always said it isn’t concerned with itself, not interested), but that’s what Sri Aurobindo said: “I feel I am still the old man.” This morning I understood that, because it was no longer there! You see, that sort of very calm perception, but still of what “goes wrong” (a pain here, a difficulty there), very calm, very indifferent, but the thing is still PERCEIVED (without becoming more important) – even that, prrt! gone, completely swept away!...

I do hope it won’t come back. That’s really... that’s what I understand to be a transformation! You are conscious in a golden immensity (it’s wonderful, mon petit!), luminous, golden, peaceful, eternal, all-powerful.

How did it come?... There are really no words to express it, that sense of wonder towards the Grace.... The Grace, the Grace is a thing that exceeds all understanding in its clear-sighted goodness....

Naturally, the body had the experience. Something took place which I won’t tell, and it had the true reaction; it didn’t have the old reaction, it had the true one: it smiled, you know, with this Smile of the supreme Lord – it smiled. That remained there for a day and a half. And that difficulty was what let the body make the last progress, let it live in that Consciousness; if everything had been harmonious, things might have dragged on for years – it’s wonderful, you know, wonderful!

How stupid people are! When the Grace comes to them, they drive it away, saying, “Oh, how horrible!...” I’d known that for a long time, but my experience is... a bedazzlement.

The whole is brought with lightning speed towards the consciousness that will be this Consciousness of the point and of the whole at the same time.

19. November 1969 – Supramental Consciousness.

The first descent of the supramental Force was on a 29th. And this is on a 19th. The figure 9 has something to do with all this.... There are so many things we don’t know!

(silence)

I had already had, partially, the experience that when you are in that state of inner harmony and nothing, no part of your attention is turned to the body, the body functions perfectly well. It’s this... self-concentration that upsets everything. That I’ve observed many, many times.... You really MAKE YOURSELF sick. It’s narrowness of consciousness, it’s division. When you let things work on their own, there’s... there’s EVERYWHERE a Consciousness and a Grace that do EVERYTHING so that EVERYTHING may go smoothly, and that imbecility is what constantly upsets everything – oddly enough! Self-centered imbecility, that’s right: what Sri Aurobindo called the old man.”

It’s really interesting.

22. November 1969 – Fear: Should not fear physical Sensations!

“Fear is a degradation of human consciousness.”

I think that’s very important. Because EVERYWHERE, people are convinced that punishment is what… Horrible!

I’ve just learned that others are beginning to feel. Do you know Dr. V? He was the head of the hospital here for a long time. He got very interested in A.R. [the healer], very interested, and I think that hastened something in him, so that for a few nights he’s had “phenomena” which I’ve, myself had lots of times, but I knew what it was and wasn’t alarmed. But he’s a doctor (!) and was a little alarmed. It’s a sort of discomfort with the heart – it can’t be called a pain: it’s a discomfort, followed by intense perspiration. I had one this morning again – maybe because I was trying to see what’s going on in him (I was told about it yesterday, and I tried to see if it was that). That may be why I got that, I don’t know. It may be because there was still something...

I told you several times, the organs are “supported” in their functioning by the forces of Nature, and in this process of transformation, the forces of Nature are withdrawn and replaced with the divine Presence. But you understand, there comes a moment when there is a gap [between the old functioning and the new] – it may be imperceptible, but still it has an effect; a moment comes when there is an anguish. And then, some things are only partially transformed; so one part, then another part, then yet another part are taken up in succession, and since the heart is a very important thing, I am convinced it takes place very slowly. As a result, one often experiences the same thing, more or less strongly. The calmer one is, the more trusting one is, the more one is in the true attitude, and the less strong it is – the consequences are less strong. But still, there is a consequence, and he was taken by surprise, he didn’t know what it was.

But it interested me. What A.R. said, “To be entirely governed by the divine Consciousness,” appealed to him a lot, it’s an approach he understood. He must have tried, and that’s the result. I saw other people who had pains, but that one is more “alarming.” Others have pains here or there or... but when it touches the heart, people start being more alarmed. But in several cases, I saw that this Force doesn’t act only here [in Mother]: it acts in others. And always, always, the moment of transition (it may be very brief, or it may take some time) is a bit... difficult. One needs to be forewarned.

I’ve seen that everywhere: the moment of transition in other functionings is sometimes unpleasant, but not so alarming; there [with the heart], people are generally... they’re a bit scared! He is a very strong man, he wasn’t afraid; he sent me a line asking me, if this was the sign that he must go, to prepare him to go as he should.

But that has happened to me any number of times. If one isn’t afraid, it’s nothing.

One should avoid emotions and all those things.

But the more sincere one is – the more sincere the body is – the more it’s truly ready for anything: it has given itself entirely and... what will happen will happen, that’s all. And it’s really like this: “What You WILL, what You will I shall do, whatever it may be – I am not even asking to know.” Then it’s in peace and things go fast enough.

Anxiety brings about a vibration which isn’t good.

(silence)

That’s how it is, one thing and another, one thing and another... But then, there’s the old way which is less and less strong, and the new which is stronger and stronger. In other words, the one is the whole sense and consciousness of instability, uncertainty, fragility – impermanence (it’s really something devoid of any true solidity); while the other is the sense of Permanence (Mother stretches out her arms) and... progression without fall, like that, in something that’s vast and... such a powerful movement that it’s immobile, giving a sense of immobility So one is like this (gesture of swinging from one state to the other).

This morning, I remembered what I told you last Wednesday (not remembered what I said: remembered the STATE I told you about). And then, the body was like this (gesture of intense aspiration), oh, saying, “This Consciousness, this Consciousness, this Consciousness...” It wanted it, you know, intensely, and there was such a clear perception of what prevents it from being there.... What prevents is a “concentric” vibration, a sort of concentric vibration, meaning that instead of being like this (Mother opens her arms), in an infinite Eternity, things are seen in relation to oneself. That’s what prevents.

(silence)

One must really reach the state in which... one doesn’t care about living and one doesn’t care about not living: absolutely indifferent – it’s not indifference, it’s a... what should I call it? A peaceful and... unquestioning acceptance. And above all, above all, no alarm.

You see, the movement of surrender is a preliminary movement (the movement of surrender is total and constant), well, it’s a preliminary movement; there’s another movement in which one no longer has anything to surrender! It’s like that, it’s quite natural.

(silence)

I see lots and lots of people, and the body notices that even those with the best goodwill don’t understand – a total and general incomprehension of the condition it is in.

And then, some really amusing things all the time, all the time, every minute.... For an extremely long time it hasn’t felt offended anymore, an extremely long time, but there was still a time when it would see, perceive incomprehension as a ridiculous thing or... an ignorance. Now that’s over. Now... For a long time, every time it used to ask, “Ah! What do You want me to learn?” Now that too is past. Because as soon as something comes (what Sri Aurobindo called the old man), something left from the old personality, which shows up like that, the body doesn’t need anything to see the truth instantly: it appears profoundly ridiculous.

29. November 1969 – The Vital and Mind had gone away

A rather interesting phenomenon has taken place.... The vital and the mind had gone away, and when the Consciousness worked in the body, it reconstituted a vital and a mind WITHIN the body itself. And that’s very interesting, because the body has taken extreme interest in learning lots of things: it has asked questions about external things, mathematical things, all those things that specifically belong to the mind. And it has learned them very easily – the PRINCIPLE of those things has been learned very easily. It immediately felt it needed to learn them.

It’s interesting.

Only, its approach isn’t the same. It’s as if – curiously, as if the Force were from above downward and not from below upward, in the sense that the direction in the body is the same as when the Energy or Force descends into the body to use the organs; it’s the same thing: it’s the Force, the Consciousness that uses a certain power of understanding. It’s like this (gesture from above downward), the origin isn’t in the brain. Always, the Consciousness is always there (gesture above the head), even the consciousness that makes the body function. Only, the body felt it needed that, the power of mental analysis.

But it came as an IMPERSONAL activity, quite impersonal, there is no sense whatsoever of even an individualization of thought, you understand? That’s not there. It’s... like an instrument being used. An instrument of organization, that’s really it.

Yes, that’s it, it’s exactly that: it’s not at all an instrument of knowledge, not at all (Knowledge is up above, constantly), it’s an instrument of organization and work-organization, the body has grown very conscious of the lack of organization in things and people. And that’s very interesting: how an activity ought to be organized, how thoughts ought to be organized in the brain, how... everything, everything. Especially in that line, and that’s very interesting.

Ultimately, mental power is really a power of organization: each thing in its own place, and the TRUE relationship between things.

But I think the world is moving fast, because at the start of the century, the union of religions (that is to say, the perception and understanding that all religions are an aspect and expression of a higher truth), that was an almost new thing to get accepted; now... it’s old, it’s past. Now it’s an extra- and supra-religious perception that imposes itself as being indispensable. The religious spirit is below; at that time, it was still above. Which means things are moving fast.

For instance, I am quite certain that if Sri Aurobindo wrote those Aphorisms now, he wouldn’t put the word God where he used it (he used the word God almost everywhere). He wouldn’t use THAT word. God, for man, really means religion.... I don’t know how to explain, it’s a sort of sensitivity somewhere that rebels-the word is false, as it were. It has almost become the symbol of an incomprehension.

Still now, I am giving explanations for these Aphorisms, and in almost all of them, he uses the word God – he wouldn’t put it now.

29. November 1969 – About Satprem's mental activity

No, no! No. This mental activity is what the Supreme Lord is expecting of you. That’s it. That’s it. So then, instead of being an obstacle, it’s THROUGH this activity that the work on the body is getting done. You understand, the only truly individual work is the work of the body; well, for you, it is done through your work, just as for me it’s done through my work. The whole thing is simply to be like that, aware that it’s not a hindrance – this work is what is expected of this body, that’s all.

I am sure of it because for you I’ve looked several times: it has always been the same identical answer. I am sure of it. In the eternity... it’s just one moment! (Mother laughs)