July 1969

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12. July 1969 – Mother tries to avoid talking

Then, the contact with people... I have made it a rule not to speak to those who come, the visitors; I only speak to those I work with, because the body itself feels its consciousness go down as soon as I start speaking. If I don’t speak, its consciousness is very... (what should I say?) very even and vast (much vaster than the body), very vast, even, and very receptive without distortion; as soon as I speak... it’s not longer that. So I don’t like to speak, but I am obliged to somehow, as I speak to you or when I have work to do to organize things. This morning, I had the visit of the Commission sent by the government to see if we are good children (!) and deserve the money... which they are to give us. So that Commission asked to see me. I said, “I agree, provided we do not talk and I say nothing.” When I see people... they are transparent, you know, and generally I see what they think, I see what they want, or their impulsion or... – it’s very amusing. And I talk to them. I talk to them in the sense that I tell them something inwardly (“I” doesn’t know: it’s the consciousness that knows precisely what they should be told). Sometimes I know nothing about them; they’ve just arrived, I see them and give them a speech! I give them a speech, and I am myself surprised: “Well! Why am I telling him all this?” And later on, I learn that it’s precisely the person’s preoccupations or difficulty or...

Which means there is some progress. There is progress in the consciousness, but not yet in the equilibrium of health; that’s very difficult. It has become extremely sensitive and the least thing causes reactions.... We’ll see.

12. July 1969 – The body repeats the mantra

But I told you, the body repeats the mantra (which is also japa) spontaneously, and absolutely without the intervention of the consciousness. It has got into the habit; as soon as it has the least difficulty, it repeats the mantra. So you can obtain the same result.

19. July 1969 – A sincere Heart; New Phenomenon during the night

A sincere heart is worth all the extraordinary powers in the world.

There’s a new phenomenon during the night. One phenomenon was there before, but has grown more precise: it’s a place in the subtle physical where those with a body and those without a body are mingled without difference. They have the same reality, the same density and the same conscious, independent existence. There I see... Last night (or the night before, I don’t know), there were things like that: Chandulal was there, Amrita too, they met and talked, made plans together, just as they would have done physically on earth. It wasn’t the first time they were meeting, and they said to each other, “I’ll tell you tomorrow like that, regarding their ideal. Interesting things. There’s another... (Mother tries to remember) Ah, yes, Purani also. They go about there. There’s an extraordinary likeness to material life, except that you can feel they’re freer in their movement. But that’s not new, it’s just growing more concrete and precise. What’s new is what has taken place these last few nights...

My sleep is no longer sleep at all, I don’t know, it’s a sort of... (gesture as if Mother drew her energies within) withdrawal, that is, I go within, and then I am active. And those people are in that same state. Among them, some are with people who still have a body: it’s not just those who no longer have a body. So then, I am also there, and in the same kind of state. But the strange thing is that when I supposedly “wake up” and get up, I go on with something (laughing) that’s not physical! You understand, the state of over there goes on, and it’s as real, as tangible as physical things; and after half an hour I realize that I have moved about here and done all kinds of things ENTIRELY in that consciousness!... What’s that consciousness?...

It’s a very clear, very harmonious consciousness, in which there are no difficulties, and very creative.... I don’t know what it is... This morning it was peculiar: for a half-hour I was literally there [in that world], and I wasn’t aware of it! It’s afterwards that I wondered, “But... is it physically like this?” There was someone, you understand, I was with someone [in that world], and I wondered, “But is this person physically like this? Is it physical?” And I was standing!... So it’s as if the two worlds were... (Mother slips the fingers of her right hand through those of her left hand). Strange....

The physical appears to be less imperative, less... Previously, there was the impression that, all right, it wasn’t a “dream” as people call it, but a more subtle and less precise consciousness, and that the physical consciousness was quite concrete and precise (Mother gestures as if to knock against something). But now this distinction... the other consciousness has become almost more concrete and real than the physical consciousness; the purely material consciousness is more wobbly: the impression of something not too... not too steady – not too steady, it’s odd.

That’s odd; it’s new, it began two days ago. We’ll see.

(long silence)

Maybe a new consciousness is trying to use this body?... It’s a new consciousness in the sense that what this body did, its activities, all the events of its life, appear in the memory as COMPLETELY different from the way it remembered them – not that events have changed, but the sense or sensation or vision or understanding of things is COMPLETELY, completely different. Completely different. It finds its earlier state... unconscious to the point of stupidity – for everything, everything. And there is a sort of... strange gap: it now finds its former state of consciousness artificial, untrue, and... incredibly stupid; and then, in the new consciousness, the SAME circumstances have a completely different MEANING – another meaning, they give another sensation.

I think there’s something changing in here.

And at the same time, a sense of... (what should I call it?) unimportance, of nothingness, and then the sensation, the perception of the divine Presence, so concrete, so powerful... that sometimes I get the feeling people will break down! (Mother laughs) That’s how it is: when they’re here I feel as if... (gesture) That so-called “accident” of last Wednesday has had a very considerable effect on the body consciousness: it’s now very different. The perception of a Power limited only by... the prudence of an infinite Patience. Like that. And at the same time... well, what we might call “remnants of personality,”

reduced to a musty and absolutely unimportant state. The two are there together. But it’s very difficult... For instance, they’ve taken new photos [of Mother], yesterday I saw a number of them: I looked at them as I would look at the photos of someone else – they were exactly like the photos of someone else! And I passed some comments, (laughing) I remember the impression I had while looking at them.... Well, I do think I’ve changed quite a bit in appearance, too, haven’t I? Haven’t I changed?

26. July 1969 – Conversation with Sri Aurobindo before he departed

I remember quite clearly and precisely (I still see the whole setting, in his room) a conversation I once had with him-in what connection, I don’t know... It was... (I forget what preceded, you understand), he told me, “We can’t both remain upon earth, one must go.” Then I said to him, “I am ready, I’ll go.” Then he told me, “No, you can’t go, your body is better than mine, you can undergo the transformation better than I can do.”

And the strange thing is that... It took place just before all his physical difficulties.

But I didn’t attach too much importance [to that conversation]; it’s only when he left that it suddenly came back, and I thought, “So there, he knew!...” It was... I don’t know. It was almost like a speculation, you understand, which he was just mentioning. It was at the time of our moving from the other house to this one, because it took place one day in that room, here [downstairs], and it was before his accident, before he broke his leg. In what connection, I forget. That’s gone. But I remember clearly, so clearly, I still see the room and everything, how he was, how he told me, “We can’t both remain upon earth.” That’s all.

I remember another thing, but then much more recent. After he left, long ago, years and years ago (it was not very long after he left, maybe a year or two), I was downstairs, in the bathroom downstairs, and in that bathroom, early in the morning I was taking my breakfast on the corner of a table, like that. Then, while I was beginning to eat, he came and stood there (gesture beside Mother), and he was so concrete that I felt as if... it would take VERY LITTLE for him to become material again. So I said to him, “Oh, you are coming back!” Like that. And then... he answered me, “I’ll be with you, but I can’t come back materially – I MUST NOT come back materially.”

It was so material that I suddenly felt, “Oh, nothing, a mere nothing would be enough... [for him to materialize].”

26. July 1969 – Sri Aurobindo in the subtle Physical

That may be. At any rate, that he is in the subtle physical is certain. He is there all the time.

But this body knows very well that it isn’t endowed with exceptional capacities.... It doesn’t delude itself. All it has is a faith ardent, constant, intense, oh!... A faith nothing can shake. But that’s all.

It has never had a desire or ambition to work miracles – it’s not interested in that. It has seen many miraculous things, but it has always felt it was... the Supreme Lord who was doing all that (which it finds quite natural, by the way). But imaginings... when they come it drives them back, it says, “No, that doesn’t interest me.” Things people find “marvelous,” all of that doesn’t interest it. it wouldn’t be surprised to see Sri Aurobindo walk in one day – not in the least; but it doesn’t have... it feels no urge to do it, you understand! It feels no need to astound people – none at all.

30. July 1969 – Materializations and Sri Aurobindo

(Then Mother returns to the previous conversation about materializations, and Satprem’s note in which he asked, “But Savitri goes into death in search of Satyavan... so Mother is going to bring back Sri Aurobindo?’)

I’ve received your note... But you know that Sri Aurobindo said he wanted to come back on the earth only in a superhuman body... a supramental body.

(silence)

A host of problems have instantly arisen.... You see, there’s a considerable difference between human life and animal life, and there will be a considerable difference between superhuman life and human life (supramental life and human life). But then, IN WHAT SENSE?... Take wholly... practical things: Will they have houses? How will they live?...

We can conceive that food will no longer be needed, that there will be another method of sustenance, but...

No need of houses!

(Mother does not hear and goes on)

Individual life or collective life? A constructed house, or a... spontaneous house?

They don’t need houses, they draw back within!

You think they can make themselves invisible?

Yes, they can draw back within.

Ah, that’s what came to me, but I don’t...

They draw back, and then project themselves, like this [gesture of contraction and expansion].

That’s what came to me. (Laughing) It was even... it didn’t come as thought at all, it came as FACT – A Sri Aurobindo who becomes visible, whom you can hear... and then (Mother laughs), who disappears! That’s wonderful! It would be wonderful.

(Mother smiles and keeps looking)

A number of things would have the power to be visible or invisible: to appear just when there’s a reason for them to, and to disappear when they no longer need to be there... It opens up magnificent horizons!

Yes, but it’s already like that in the subtle physical.

Yes-yes, but...

Basically, it’s the screen between life and what people call “death” that must... disappear. Because when I say that those beings “draw back within,” well, to us they become “dead,” you understand? To human beings, it means they’re dead. So in fact, there would have to be a passage.

No, no! Because there remains a body you destroy or bury.

Yes, but with this supramental being, in fact no “body” remains: he interiorizes (meaning that to humans he becomes “dead”), or exteriorizes, meaning that to human beings he becomes alive, going from one state to the other at will.

But that’s my whole experience, that it’s not true, there isn’t “life and death.”

Well, yes, precisely! There’s no such thing. But there’s still a veil or a screen between the two states.

But it’s NOW still like that – we can foresee a time when the screen is gone.

Yes! So then, when it’s gone, Sri Aurobindo will be able to go from one state to the other.

Oh, that, he would constantly be there, he would constantly appear.

We’ll see that. It opens up... a whole field of experience.

(long silence)

(Mother remains “looking” for a long time, then suddenly looks very amused)

I’ve just had a vision... of what a life will be like in which beings of the supramental will mingle with physical life... It will be... You know, for three quarters of humanity, it will be a terrible panic! Someone appears all of a sudden (Mother laughs), and just when you want to say something to him, ploff! nobody there!

You can picture that.... The brigand about to do his mischief, someone appears... and just when he wants to defend himself, poff! (Mother laughs) nobody there.

A tremendous means of action!

So basically, later on when this life is established, it’s only the untransformable residue that will... really be death. And that will go on decreasing.