February 1969

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01. February 1969 – Detach one's consciousness from the body

“As for immortality, it cannot come if there is attachment to the body, – for it is only by living in the immortal part of oneself which is unidentified with the body and bringing down its consciousness and force into the cells that it can come. I speak of course of yogic means. The scientists now hold that it is (theoretically at least) possible to discover physical means by which death can be overcome, but that would mean only a prolongation of the present consciousness in the present body Unless there is a change of consciousness and change of functionings it would be a very small gain.” Sri Aurobindo (Letters on Yoga, 24.1234)

Well, as Sri Aurobindo has just said, the process is, rather than remain wholly attached to the body, to attach ourselves to the Spirit, and to bring the Spirit down into the body’s cells. The process is to detach one’s consciousness from the body and to concentrate it on the deeper life so as to bring this deeper consciousness into the body.

The psychic consciousness that has identified with the small part of the physical is what comes out of this small physical person. Insofar as that consciousness has fashioned one’s life, it remembers what it has fashioned, and the memory is closely linked with the psychic consciousness in the past events: whenever the psychic consciousness did not participate in the events, no memory is retained. It’s only the psychic consciousness that can continue. It’s not the mind that retains the memories, that’s quite wrong.

05. February 1969 – Mother's dream or vision

At the same time, I remember a vision of the night in which I did a work with numbers and put the numbers – figures and groups of figures – in a certain position. That’s what I wanted to tell you. In the “dream” (if we can call it a dream), I said to myself that I should show it to you. Now I remember... it comes like this (gesture from behind Mother’s head). And then, it’s associated with groups of people who are everywhere, spread all over the earth, and in relation with... which planet? I don’t know, planets. And I remember saying to myself (all that during the night, not after waking up), while preparing that whole arrangement... I still see the arrangement of figures I was preparing, they were quite living – the figures were living things, groups of figures I was arranging, with one arrangement like this, one arrangement like that... (Mother seems to move about the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle), and in fact you were there, and I told you that when it was like this (Mother draws one particular arrangement) it expressed such and such a thing, while when it was like that (another arrangement of the puzzle), it expressed such and such other thing. And at the same time, I said, “Not only does it express this thing, but it has a power for realizing it....” All that is there (Mother gestures behind her head, as if to show a memory in the background), somewhere there. And it was connected with groups of people who were in different places of the earth. And it was... well, well! It was the “ciphered” expression – the ciphered expression of the application to life in a coming realization: the expression of the life ahead, but not very far ahead; for instance, in the following century, the century starting now. So that’s probably what remained in the memory, which made me want to tell you something. But I can still see the arrangement of figures. I spent a long time – a long time-arranging the figures. A long time. A truer, more universal application, and with the spiritual knowledge: the principle of the position and utilization of individuals on earth. And I don’t know why, it particularly interested you.

You were with me, with this arrangement of figures, and I showed you (same gesture of the pieces of a puzzle being moved about)... two columns here and one column there; but living columns: not on paper – not on paper, in the air. I don’t know how to explain that, it was in the air, and I arranged, moved the figures about like this (same gesture), and those figures were LIVING, they weren’t written on a paper. There were different groups of figures... (Mother tries to remember), yes, there were two groups: some were blue (dark blue), and others golden yellow, and... (how can I explain?) they weren’t male- female, but they were two principles, the two principles-the principle of... not creation, but conception (gesture coming down from above), and the principle of realization. When I do that I am wholly conscious: it’s not a dream (I don’t sleep in the ordinary way; I am as if asleep, but I don’t sleep; and I don’t “dream”: I ACT), I am wholly conscious, with the same kind of consciousness as the waking consciousness – it’s not a dream. I was doing that, and explaining to you how all those figures were organizing themselves and determining future events. When I wake up, or get up, rather (I can’t say “wake up”), when I get up and enter into activity, it goes away – “goes away,” not that it stops: it remains in its world. It’s only now, because you are present, that it has made contact with the memory. It went on for several hours. It wasn’t the “conception” of a work, it was THE work itself, like... like when there are levers and things you move to set other things in motion (Mother draws a big control panel in an electronic room), it was something like that, but it wasn’t that at all! It was the organization of those groups of figures that determined the events and the ORDER of events (especially the order of events) and their location on earth. And probably, while I was doing it, something wanted me to tell you, and left an impression that I had something to tell you; then everything went away. When I come back to this life, everything goes away; and it’s only because I now tried to remember that I could (gesture of contact with the memory) catch it: I tried, and it came back. But I realize (almost with surprise) that it must have lasted at least two hours, or more – two to two and a half hours. I don’t sleep at all, but I am active, absolutely active in the... (Mother tries to situate the zone) – what’s being prepared to manifest on earth, I don’t know if we should call it “subtle physical” or... It’s the creative zone of the physical, it’s there. And as I can’t run from one place to another, what I do is linked through figures, like that-living figures. Living figures:

I organize them, group them together, and I remember what I did the previous day; I say, “No, yesterday it was that way, but now it has to be this way,” and with the knowledge that it will have to be changed again tomorrow. And that’s what determines events. But the consciousness (the waking or ordinary consciousness) MUST NOT know what’s decided there; it must know only a part necessary to the execution. That’s why there is a break – it remains, it keeps on living there like that (gesture behind the head), but it doesn’t come through... It’s wholly because at that time [during the “dream”] I made the decision to tell you about it that I could catch the memory, otherwise... Although I SEE; I see those figures, that’s why I can describe them, but they no longer mean anything for me. And I am not sure whether they are figures or letters... They were figures, I know they were; some figures were golden, others were blue (but those aren’t our material colors, neither our substance nor our material colors), and I kept arranging them: one group like this, another group like that (gesture like a moving puzzle), then I would choose. Strange. And I must have been very tall, because the figures were big; I would take them and place them (it was on a large surface), and as I placed them, it established a communication and organized the events immediately ahead. Perhaps I do remember... Last night, I knew I was doing it every night, but during the night... There was (but then, in the body, yesterday in the waking state) a sort of aspiration to know what the functioning would be, the action in the superman consciousness. I said, “Having this consciousness around oneself [like a rampart] is very fine, but one must also know what changes there will be in the body’s functioning, in the work, in one’s workings.” So then, this experience [of the figures] was like an answer to make me learn a little the future way. But what’s strange is that I did it exactly as they now do with those big electric machines, with all kinds of levers (gesture like a control panel in a power plant), I did it in that way, moving things and... Only, I think I must have been a little taller than I am.... I don’t know. In any case, I would place the objects (same gesture like a moving puzzle)... They weren’t objects, they were something... but it had a fixed form – it was fixed – and there was a sort of store (not a “storeroom,” I don’t know how to put it), a store from where I drew things, which I would put and arrange like that. The arrangement was continuous in its whole, but with changes in the details.

It must be an activity of this [superman] consciousness, because it’s not something I’ve had for a long time. Last night, I knew I had been doing it regularly every night, but not for a long time. It must have come with this consciousness. I should also say that yesterday (yesterday in my ordinary consciousness, I mean when I was here), there were two things: I thought about you, and said to myself... (it wasn’t yesterday, it was the last time I saw you, last Saturday) after Saturday, I had something that wanted me to know how this [superman] force acted with you; so it’s in response to that that I saw you last night and explained to you the whole working. And you participated consciously, that is, you understood perfectly well all that I was doing – you participated consciously. It’s interesting. It will grow clearer and clearer.

And this vision [with the big control panel], it was like an application of scientific means, but quite different! And it was entirely based on... There was no thought, no reasoning, nothing of all that: it was a force going like this (gesture of a descent imposing itself), as it always does, and it impelled the action. So I saw; I saw, I knew I had to do this or that, and though I didn’t think at all, I was able to explain why, that is to say, I was able to say in advance that it was FOR such and such a thing. It was the combination of these two colors of figures (maybe it’s a translation in my consciousness? Anyway...), the blue figures and the golden ones. And the priority for action was always the golden figures; the blue ones came as if to fill a gap. It had a shape (same gesture like a moving puzzle), it had a shape. It’s odd. it’s odd, it was so natural, so spontaneous and HABITUAL: nothing in the being remembered it with surprise, that is to say, it didn’t remember as one would remember having dreamt and done something – nothing of the sort, it was quite natural: I did it “like that” and was quite aware that I was doing it every night.... And if I remember right, it was between midnight and in the morning (a little earlier or later). But it has a strong action, I mean it COMMANDS the action on earth, and it’s not subjected in any way or tied down to anything below: it’s like this (gesture of a descent imposing itself). And it constantly receives the Will or the Power of action from above – not “above,” it’s not above, it’s... (Mother makes a sort of gesture meaning it is “everywhere inside”) “superior” in the true sense. This body RECEIVES things. It receives them. It doesn’t feel it’s... I don’t know how to explain (the thought isn’t working). All of a sudden it felt the need to know the effect this [superman] consciousness will have on the consciousness here, how it will work. And then, for you, I wondered, “Where and how does this consciousness act?”

And that’s why I’ve had this experience [of figures] – that’s not “why,” it was preliminary to the experience, it came to draw my attention to the need to know that.... Odd! it’s odd. You see, it had left an impression: I thought I had something material to show you [at the beginning of the conversation, when Mother was looking for something on her table]. It had left a deep impression.

Strangely, one doesn’t remember things in the same way; the memory works in quite another way, quite another way It’s as if things came onto a screen (gesture of projection in front), imposing themselves; then some withdraw, go away (they are there [gesture behind Mother], but they don’t draw the attention), then on some other occasion they come like that (same gesture of projection in front of Mother’s eyes). A strange functioning. It’s not a mental memory of words or... not at all: it’s the things THEMSELVES that are projected. Maybe we’re changing a bit! (Laughing) That wouldn’t be too soon!

08. February 1969 – Story of Bluebeard (Vision)

This atmosphere or consciousness [of the superman] seems to have an educative activity, because since it came, it has been looking after the education of the body – of the body’s CONSCIOUSNESS – and that’s quite interesting. And this education isn’t something personal at all: it’s the vision of the earth’s evolution, especially concentrated on human evolution. There are no doubt notions of the whole, and with very particular things, quite particular viewpoints, but then, with precise details and with insistence, lasting sometimes an hour on one subject, so as to make deeply understood the cause and the consequences, and the CURVE of evolution. Its method (in the main, not exclusively), its method consists in awakening a memory of the body that had been quite forgotten and really seemed absolutely gone; it awakens that memory and shows how the circumstance was possible in the general state, how (I’ll give you an example) it’s a residue of the past, and how it’s unacceptable for the future. This morning’s experience was very curious.... All of a sudden, it awakened the memory of something that took place in my childhood when I was about eight or ten (which I had completely forgotten). On Sundays (I suppose so, or anyway on holidays), I used to go and play with my first cousins, the children of a brother of my father. I would go and play with them. I remember their house, I can still see it. We would usually spend our time playing scenes or enacting a story in tableaux. And today, it showed me something I had really forgotten. There’s a story of “Bluebeard,” isn’t there? (Bluebeard... I forget, I only know what I remembered this morning.) One day, we did a tableau vivant, in several tableaux, with the story of Bluebeard who cut off his wives’ heads.... (To Satprem:) That’s how the story went, isn’t it?... (Laughter) I only remember this morning, I don’t recall the story.... Now, we played in a big room, a sort of enclosed verandah – in Paris, a big long room. We had stood (our playmates were little boys and girls), we had stood a certain number of girls against the wall: we had stuck them to the wall, with their hair strung above their heads (Mother laughs), and we had put a sheet in front to cover the rest of their bodies – the sheet reached down to the floor so that we couldn’t see their bodies, only their heads!... I am saying that because I saw it this morning, otherwise I didn’t remember in the least. I saw this scene, I saw the memory of that room and how it was all arranged. And at the same time there came... You see, we found it quite natural, just “a story” we had read; I remembered my impression at the time: there was no sense of horror! We didn’t find it “monstrous” (laughing), we were having great fun!... So the experience came, and it remained for OVER AN HOUR to make me understand very deeply where this memory came from, how it acted and why we were in that state. And all of it not at all from a personal standpoint, not at all: from the general standpoint of the earth and humanity in general. It was exceedingly interesting! And then, at the same time, a vision showing how, with what swift movement, the universal consciousness moves (arrow like gesture) in a progression towards the Divine – the TRUE Divine, I mean, not religions, of course-towards the TRUE Divine... through all that. And with the consciousness of the WHOLE – the whole – and nuances (Sade and all that line), from the highest to the lowest. For one hour I saw a whole stage of humanity – a stage towards the late 1800s, the second half of the 1800s – and how it moved on and progressed (gesture like a great curve). And that’s... I have no words or capacity to describe it, but it’s extraordinarily interesting. The vision of the human collectivity on earth, with all its stages, gradations, nuances, and how it all followed a movement... (same arrow like gesture). And this story (“story”... this VISION, rather, because it wasn’t a story: I didn’t see what we said or anything, only the vision of what we did), this story came as the illustration of a certain state of mind of those times, and how children were given stories of that kind to read – we found it quite natural! (Mother laughs) And those things are so dreadful.

As soon as I am not busy talking or listening to people or doing a work, it goes on and on: certain “samples,” as it were, of this body’s life are taken up again, and through those samples, the whole is shown. A wonderful education!

Never, never does any human education as it’s conceived resemble this, because it’s a vision of the whole, in which everything hangs together; you’re shown everything together. It can’t be said. At least I can’t say it – I can’t, this body is incapable of formulating it methodically and clearly. But as far as learning is concerned, it’s certainly learning! At the same time, that gives the true notion... This morning (as if to give reference points), certain questions of religion were also mixing in: of religions, religious people from different religions, attitudes in religions. All that came with the vision of the whole and a total absence of all personal reactions (when it saw them, the seeing consciousness had no personal reactions; for instance, the reaction of one religion towards another, of one creed towards another, of one so-called system of knowledge towards another, and so on: all those reactions and conflicts found in the human mind), it was seen like this (dominating gesture, as if above a becalmed sea), it was all seen TOGETHER, and all on the same plane; on a same plane which is like a mental zone and has absolutely nothing to do with the Truth – it’s an unbelievable camouflaging of the Truth. The so-called “truths” for which men have fought against each other, have died, have destroyed with all human passions: an almost ridiculous camouflaging of the Truth.

All religions seen like that in the whole, and in their history. And since it isn’t thought, of course – it’s SEEN, it’s a vision, a vision seen in the consciousness – one would have to say ten words at the same time. It’s impossible to express, impossible to describe. If one starts describing one thing after another, it no longer makes sense. This morning, it went on for three hours like that. In reality, it stopped only when I started seeing people, because naturally... And in the night it’s the same thing, it goes on. It’s like a super-education of the body, of the body’s CONSCIOUSNESS, with illustrations. This story I’ve told of Bluebeard, it’s like an illustration to make the body understand clearly, because it then FELT the state of consciousness it was in at the time. And having felt that, it understood – it was as if put in front of an abyss. It said, “How?!...” An abyss of unconsciousness. And it’s very general. So then, there was the vision of the past, the vision of the present condition, and a beginning of... (gesture like a curve forward), the DIRECTION in which we’re moving, and a sort of opening... (gesture in the distance). A vision ahead, far ahead, of the Harmony, here, which will manifest. But then, at a certain point, the body wondered, “Who... or what is it that takes pleasure in this immense unfolding... which started with something so obscure and moves towards something so luminous?” All of a sudden, the body wondered, “Why?” And then... (Mother holds her hands open upward, in suspense) there was no answer... In fact, it was made to feel, “Not yet. You aren’t yet ready, not yet. You can’t understand.” (silence) But the nature of the thing is so special!... It has extraordinary precision, and such intensity that the body’s whole attention is turned towards that, but it can’t communicate yet.... Unless it comes quite naturally with this [superman] consciousness acting – acting in others, for some detail or other, for one thing or other (that is to say, people themselves don’t know, everyone isn’t aware of the whole action, he is aware only according to the development of his consciousness). The consciousness is very clearly active on a large scale, and with results that are quite surprising and look, when seen in isolation, like miracles (small miracles, but they look like miracles). So I have wondered if it was going to make others capable of the same inner work?... The hindrance in most people is mental activity – truly, this body is infinitely grateful that it has been liberated from the mental presence so it may be ENTIRELY under the influence of this Consciousness, without this whole accumulated farrago of so-called knowledge people have.... It’s spontaneous, natural, unsophisticated, very, very simple, and almost childlike in its simplicity. And that [the mind’s disappearance] is a great advantage. At this speed, things can go very fast – one learns a hundred, two hundred things AT THE SAME TIME, you understand, all of it seen at once. This morning, it was particularly intense. But if it’s described as it can be described, with words following each other, it becomes like F.’s text on Auroville: flat, artificial, devoid of life. For the moment, the human means are inadequate. What will the superhuman means be? I don’t know. But the human means are inadequate. (silence) Strange, isn’t it? It’s something that happened... probably more than eighty years ago (eighty-two or three or four), yet it was intense, present, living, so extraordinary that if even now I look at it, I SEE: I see the scene so clearly, the apartment, the people, the setting, everything.... It didn’t come from within: it was shown to me (gesture of something imposing itself), and it’s while seeing it that suddenly I said within me, “Hello, but I lived this!” It was stored somewhere (gesture in the background), stored as you would keep a collection of memories for educational purposes – it’s far more precise, complete, concrete than any book or anything people say with so many words. (silence) That’s what I am afraid of: that people will make dogmas with the creation of Auroville.... I never said anything like that to F, but that’s what it has become in her head! Even what one writes, even if we publish what I’ve said in the Bulletin, when it enters their heads that’s what it becomes. I am sure that what’s recorded here (Mother points to the tape recorder), if three people listen to it, each one will hear differently – will UNDERSTAND differently. That’s why I am not sure it’s really useful to play these recordings.... Each one goes away with the certainty that he has heard, but then he has understood something else altogether. And above all – above all – what I say is seen here (gesture above), while... (gesture showing that it is heard at ground level) it becomes so stupid, so flat!

It’s not a feeling, it’s an experience! You know, I wouldn’t like anything better than... In fact, this is my constant impression! “Do as best you can, and the best thing needed will happen, that’s all.” But there is such an awareness of the uncertainty of the effect of things, and of this complexity... It all becomes so mixed and so confused that... All of life is like that. CIRCUMSTANCES are like that, I am beginning to see that, it’s beginning to... emerge like that, to show itself: honest people look like scoundrels, and scoundrels look like... I don’t know what. Sri Aurobindo was very, very conscious of this general confusion, and so he didn’t much like... he wanted absolutely no propaganda, but he also didn’t much like attempts to “explain things” to people and make them “understand,” because he very well knew how useless it is. He very, very often said it to me: no propaganda whatsoever, of course, and above all, above all, no attempt to make people understand: the maximum effect one can obtain is the effect of the Consciousness at work in the world (universal gesture), because in everyone it produces the utmost the person can do – the utmost of what he can understand, he understands through the influence of the pressure of the Consciousness. As soon as words intervene, the whole mind makes a mess of it. Certainly, Sri Aurobindo must have had experiences analogous to the ones I’ve had; now I am absolutely convinced of that. Because people who are full – full – of a complete goodwill, who are under the constant Influence, who make an effort, they are... (gesture at ground level) from another world. So those who don’t put any goodwill into it... Music is fine.

Because there are no words. Music is fine. I had a vision like that of an auditorium in Auroville, with a grand organ, and someone (whom I am trying to prepare, who can play the organ very well and whom I am trying to prepare inwardly) was playing (I SAW that, I saw it), playing the music of the higher Consciousness. It was a place where all those who wanted to come and listen could do so; some people came from far away, they came in, sat down, listened, and then went away And this music was like a Consciousness coming down and exerting a Pressure on people to make itself understood. It was very beautiful – I hope it will be like that! Much better than words; as soon as one starts speaking (gesture at ground level), it’s no longer that. So there.

08. Feb 1969 – ADDENDUM (Notes of Auroville’s architect)

1. To build Auroville, do we need a method of working, organization, coordination?

Discipline is necessary to live. To live, the body itself is subject in all its functions to a rigorous discipline. Any slackening of this discipline results in illness.

2. What should the nature of this organization be?

In the Present and in the Future. Organization is a discipline of action, but for Auroville we aspire to go beyond organizations, which are arbitrary and artificial. We want an organization that is the expression of a higher consciousness working for the manifestation of the Truth of the Future.

3. Until we have a common consciousness and the true and correct way of working collectively is in operation, what should we do?

A hierarchical organization gathered round the most enlightened center, submitting itself to a collective discipline.

4. Should we use methods of organization of proven efficiency, but based on human logic and the use of machines?

This is a makeshift to which we should submit ourselves only very provisionally.

5. Should we let the individual initiative manifest freely, personal action be impelled by inspiration and intuition, and turn down any suggestion which the individual concerned does not feel to be good?

To be viable, this would demand that all Auroville workers should be yogis, conscious of the Divine Truth.

6. Has the time come to aspire to, set up or attempt a general organization, or should we wait for the correct attitude and people?

An organization is needed for the work to be done. But the organization itself should be supple and progressive.

7. If the solution is to wait, is it nevertheless necessary to define principles of organization and to prevent the occurrence of an uncontrollable disorder?

All those who want to live and work in Auroville must have: An integral goodwill, a constant aspiration to know the Truth and submit oneself to it. A plasticity sufficient to face the demands of the work and a ceaseless will for progress so as to progress forever towards the ultimate Truth. Finally, a bit of advice: Be more preoccupied with your own faults than with those of others. If everyone seriously worked to perfect himself, the perfection of the whole would automatically follow.

15. February 1969 – Superman Consciousness

Just one thing, this atmosphere, this [superman] Consciousness is very active, and active like a mentor, as I already told you. And it’s going on. One of these last few mornings, for a few hours early in the morning, it was... Never, never had the body been so happy! It was the complete Presence, absolute freedom, and a certitude: these cells, other cells (gesture here and there showing other bodies), it didn’t matter, it was life everywhere, consciousness everywhere.

Absolutely wonderful. It came effortlessly, and it left simply because... I was too busy. It doesn’t come at will – what comes at will is what we might call a “copy”: it looks like it, but it’s not THE Thing. The Thing... There is something wholly independent of our aspiration, our will, our effort... wholly independent. And this something appears to be absolutely all-powerful, in the sense that none of the body’s difficulties exists. At such times, everything disappears.

Aspiration, concentration, effort... no use at all. And it’s the DIVINE SENSE, you understand, that’s what having the divine sense means. During these few hours (three or four hours), I understood in an absolute way what having the divine consciousness in the body means. And then, this body, that body, that other body... (gesture here and there, all around Mother), it doesn’t matter: it moved about from one body to another, quite free and independent, aware of the limitations or the possibilities of each body-absolutely wonderful, I had never, ever had this experience before.

Absolutely wonderful. It left because I was so busy that... and it didn’t leave because it had just come to show “how it is” – that’s not it: it’s because life and the organization of life (gesture like a truckload being dumped) engulf you.

I know it’s there (gesture in the background), I know it is, but... But that’s a transformation as I understand it! And clearly, in people it could express itself-not something vague, clearly – in this man, in that woman, in... (same gesture here and there), quite clearly. And with a Smile!... The cells themselves were saying their effort to be transformed, and there was a Calm... (How can I explain this?...) The body was saying its aspiration and will to prepare itself, and, not asking but striving to be what it should be; all that always with this question (it’s not the body that asks it, it’s... the environment, those around -the world, as if the world were asking the question): “Will it continue, or will it have to dissolve?...” The body is like this (gesture of abandon, hands open upward), it says, “What You will, Lord.” But then, it knows the question is decided, and One doesn’t want to tell it – it accepts. It doesn’t lose patience, it accepts, it says, “Very well, it will be as You will.” But That which knows and That which doesn’t answer is... something that can’t be expressed. It is... yes, I think the only word that can describe the sensation it gives is “an Absolute” – an Absolute. Absolute. That’s the sensation: of being in the presence of the Absolute. The Absolute: absolute Knowledge, absolute Will, absolute Power... Nothing, nothing can resist. And then this Absolute (there’s this sensation, concrete) is so merciful! But if we compare it with all that we regard as goodness, mercy... ugh! that’s nothing at all. It’s THE Mercy with the absolute power and... it’s not Wisdom, not Knowledge, it’s... It has nothing to do with our process. And That is everywhere, it’s everywhere. It’s the body’s experience. And to That it has given itself entirely, totally, without asking anything – anything. A single aspiration (same gesture, hands open upward), “To be capable of being That, what That wills, of serving That” – not even “serving,” of BEING That. But that state, which lasted for several hours... never had this body, in the ninety-one years it’s been on earth, felt such happiness: freedom, absolute power, and no limits (gesture here and there and everywhere), no limits, no impossibilities, nothing. It was... all other bodies were itself. There was no difference, it was only a play of the consciousness... (gesture like a great Rhythm) moving about. So there. Apart from that, all the rest is as usual. (long silence)

But apart from that, the work is becoming more and more exacting: the number of people is increasing a lot, and I see them for a longer time too – everyone has more to say But I very clearly feel (that is, the body very clearly feels) that it’s part of the training. It seems to be like this: the body must hold out, otherwise, too bad, it will be for another time. All human excuses seem to me like childishness. That’s something strange: all human qualities and faults look like childishness-foolishness. Strange. And it’s not a thought: it’s a concrete sensation. Like a lifeless substance; all ordinary things are like a substance lacking life – TRUE life. Artificial and false. It’s strange. It’s not so much in others, that’s not it: it’s the inner training. And this true Consciousness, this true Attitude is something so tremendously strong, powerful, in such smiling PEACE! So smiling, incapable of getting angry – that’s absolutely impossible – so smiling, so smiling... and watching. (silence) The special character of this new consciousness is: no half-measures, no approximations. That’s its character. It doesn’t accept the idea, “Oh, yes, we’ll do that, and little by little we’ll...” No, no, not like that: it’s yes or no, you can or cannot. You know, there’s a considerable increase in the people who want to see me, and in the influences when they see me, the effects when they see me (which don’t at all correspond to a will or a consciousness or anything – that no longer exists: it works or doesn’t work), and seen like that, it’s: either you hold out and can do the work, or else, too bad. That’s how it is, you understand. I first wondered whether this profusion of people was the result of reading the Bulletin (what we published in November), but many of them have never touched the Bulletin, never seen it. So... it must be the action of this Consciousness. (silence) It’s really like a GRACE, you know, as if: don’t waste time – don’t waste time, you must do the work, or else... But this tremendous Power is especially this, a mercy, a clemency!... No, there are no words, we have no words to describe that, it’s something... Just paying attention and... it’s bliss. Just turning one’s attention to that side, immediately it’s bliss. And I understand (it made me understand certain things), the stories of people who, in the midst of torture, felt bliss – that’s how it is. A bliss.

19. February 1969 – The Weariness of the Cells

I am entirely convinced that things are as they must be, and that it’s simply the body that lacks suppleness, tranquillity, trust.... So I can’t even say that things grate (they don’t grate at all), but... You understand, the work consists in changing the conscious base of all the cells – but not all at once! Because that would be impossible; even little by little is very difficult: the moment when the conscious base is changed is... There is almost a sort of panic in the cells, and the impression, “Ooh! What’s going to happen?” And since there are still lots and lots of them... So now and then, it’s difficult. It’s by group, almost by faculty or part of faculty, and some of them are a little difficult. I don’t know (since it’s quite new), I don’t know if it would be easier if I weren’t doing anything? Probably not, because it’s not so much the work [to be done], it’s not that: it’s people’s general attitude. It makes for a kind of collective support at the moment of the transition. At the moment when the consciousness that ordinarily supports the cells fades away for the new one to take the place, the cells need (“the cells,” I don’t know if it’s them), but there has to be the support of... (how can I put it?)... in people it gets expressed as the need of the Presence, but that’s not what is necessary: it’s a sort of collaboration of the collective forces. It’s not much, it’s not indispensable, but it helps a little, in some measure. There is a moment when there’s almost an anguish, you know, you’re suspended like that; it may be a few seconds, but those few seconds are terrible. This morning again there was a moment like that.... I remember that at the time of the “darshans,” for two days Sri Aurobindo didn’t want me to do any work for others (to see them, read letters, reply, all that), but he was here, so it was he who acted as support. Because I see that the work began long ago (in a subordinate and very little conscious way), but now it’s in full swing. So the cells feel some slight panic...

Generally, a few minutes’ concentration is enough, but it causes a sort of weariness – weariness in the cells, a need not to do anything (Mother points at the clock, which reads 11). If I hadn’t known, if the body hadn’t known what it was, well, ordinarily I would have lain down without seeing anyone. But the consciousness was there to say that the unpleasantness of it [the second of transition], the unpleasant consequence of it would have been worse than the fact of being tired. There were a few very difficult days when Amrita left, because a whole collectivity of people thought, “Ooh, so one can die.” There. So that’s how it is. But more and more – more and more – the body has been learning that what happens (what happens every second) is the best thing that can happen given the general condition.

It’s entirely convinced of that. And it’s content to do like this (gesture of self-abandon) and say, “Let Your Will be done.” That’s all. If it can do that in a very continuous and peaceful way, then things are fine. It’s only when it tries to find out why and how and... then things go wrong. It has to be like this (same gesture of self-abandon): “Let Your Will be done.” Then it’s all right. It doesn’t ask to know, only there’s the old habit. At the critical moment (there are critical moments), at the critical moment, this surrender (it’s even more than surrender, it’s a complete abdication of everything, of its existence and everything) is filled with light and force. That’s the Response.

19. February 1969 – Awareness of Body and Cells

The body is very conscious of its infirmity – and of the Grace. For instance, there are painful, difficult moments, but it’s perfectly aware that it’s because of its incapacity to open, to give itself, to change. And a profound joy, VERY CALM, but very vast – vast, you know, the cells feel a broadening. That goes on increasing little by little. It’s only when there’s a physical pain or something a little acute that the body is obliged to hang on, otherwise... And even that comes from this idiotic spirit of self- preservation (Mother laughs) in the depths of any cellular consciousness – it knows that. It knows it. It’s an old habit. But all that, little by little (little by little, but in reality very fast – very fast), is changing. All the groups of cells, all the cellular organizations have to do their... not “surrender,” a complete self-abandon, in complete trust. That’s indispensable. For some, it’s the spontaneous, inevitable, constant movement; with others, it comes as soon as there’s a difficulty; yet others need to be churned a little in order to learn. So then, the various functions are taken up in turn, in a marvelously logical order, following the body’s functioning. It’s something marvelous, only... the body is a poor thing, very poor thing – that’s very true. Some even (as I have said) spontaneously repeat the mantra. Spontaneously, the mantra goes on and on being repeated, sometimes with a very great intensity; sometimes there is a sort of... (do you know the English word shyness?), a shyness to invoke the Divine, so strongly That is felt. But it melts – it melts in an awareness, a conscious perception of such a Clemency! Unbelievable, unbelievable, unthinkable, it’s so wonderful.... (In its very small human manifestation, that’s what has become goodness, but that’s a distortion.) A marvel! The cells are in ecstasy before this vibration.... But then, you see and hear this CLAMOR of protest, misery, suffering – it’s a clamor all over the earth, and that makes the cells feel a little ashamed.

Its way of working (I think I’ve already told you once or twice) is a sort of storytelling based on experiences, memories, very small dormant things that seemed to be gone, and which awaken for the experience to become concrete. So then, all that unfolds, with the human sensation, human vision, human understanding (even the most spiritual understanding, I might say), and at the same time... this Presence. And then the Presence brings the TRUE understanding.... Something wonderful.

The body is aware that That, this Consciousness, knows full well whether it will continue or not. It has never been told anything, and it knows (it has felt the two things equally, as equal certitudes, and with equal acceptance), it knows this is the most favorable condition for the work, so it doesn’t ask anything. There are worries around (of all kinds), from an anguish at the idea that it could happen (all around, like that) to (laughing) a haste for the end to come!

(That also happens.) But now the body has learned to be absolutely indifferent to those reactions – absolutely. It smiles. It smiles with this benevolent Smile [of the superman consciousness], it has the same smile. And it sees, it knows, it senses where that [the worry or the “haste”] comes from, it’s thoroughly conscious. After all, it’s very amusing! There’s a whole gamut, a whole scale, from fear (a semiconscious, blind fear) to... (Mother laughs) an impatient desire! “Free at last! Free at last to do all the foolish things I want to do!...” It seems there aren’t many, but there are some. The two opposites of blind Ignorance coming together. The body has become very conscious: it’s very sensitive to what comes from people. It didn’t have that before, but now it senses. It’s supported, helped: this superman consciousness that has come helps it a lot, it’s through it that the body feels, and that helps it a lot.

Sometimes, when someone comes in, along with him (him or her or them) comes a slight acute uneasiness; if the body had felt that before knowing, it would have been painful, but now it can smile and wait to discover why it’s like that (Mother gestures as if to trace the vibration that caused the uneasiness). With others, on the contrary, the atmosphere is immediately filled with the presence of this Consciousness (that’s new, and very interesting), so then the body feels fine – it feels fine, rested. There were lots and lots of things with a question mark before: “Why is it like this?” Now it knows, it’s beginning to know why – that’s amusing. And it has begun to know why since it completely abdicated and lost any eagerness either to go on or to stop (either one or the other); it’s like this (gesture of-surrender): “What You will, Lord; as long as You want me to be like this, I’ll be like this; when or if You want me not to be, I won’t be” – it’s completely, absolutely unimportant.

22. February 1969 – The "Immobility" of the Inconscient

“It is only immutable peace that can make possible eternity of existence.”

I don’t remember when it was, but I remember that I wrote it after I had the experience that the immobility of the Inconscient, of the beginning of the creation, is (I can’t say a “projection”), is a sort of inanimate or inconscient symbol of Eternity, of Immobility (it’s not “immobility,” words are worthless, it’s between immobility and stability).

Here I wrote “peace,” but “peace” is a poor word, it’s not that, it’s infinitely more than peace; it’s the “something” (even the word “eternal” gives a limited sense, all words are impossible), the something that’s the Origin of everything and the start of the evolution of the manifestation to rejoin the Origin (Mother draws a curve joining the one to the other). I remember I had this experience... I don’t know, I thought I had had this experience at the Playground, but in ‘65 I no longer used to go there. I don’t know, I feel it was at the Playground, and the experience was as if the inconscient immobility – the Inconscient’s INERT immobility – were the starting point of evolution, and a sort of TRANSLATION of this... (what should I call it? It’s another kind of immobility too! But an immobility that contains all movements), of this immobility of the Origin, this stability, with the perception that the whole evolution is for that to find That again, with the whole transition (same gesture like a great curve). It was a very clear vision, I remember I wrote it down. And when I read this [the text of the message], the experience came back. You see, they always speak of a “fall” – that’s not it! Not at all. If there was a fall, that was when the vital became a will of independence: that wasn’t at the beginning, it was quite some distance along the way... In the ancient tradition, they say that the Conscient became the Inconscient because it “cut itself off from the Origin” – it strikes me as stories told to children. Strangely, in the silence and in the vision, it’s very clear, very luminous, understandable. as soon as you want to say it, it becomes stupid. But then, in the creation itself as it is now, it’s true: the word peace” might indeed be the nearest (although it’s not that, it’s quite small and restricted, it’s not that). As soon as something is disrupted or goes wrong, it’s this “peace” that, within, comes as the remedy.

Oh, words are useless, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if it’s because I have too few of them, or because they really... All mental expression seems artificial; it gives a sense of a lifeless coating. It’s odd. And the entire language belongs to that region. When I want to say that experience... With some people, I very clearly, very easily make contact in the silence, and I tell them infinitely more things than I could with words; it’s more supple, more precise, deeper... I might say that words, sentences, written things strike me as a two-dimensional image (the ordinary image), while this contact, which I can have with people as soon as I stop speaking, adds a depth and something truer (it’s not wholly true, far from it, but it’s truer), and there is a depth.

That’s why experiences are hard to express. They’re no longer separate experiences that come one after another, it’s like a single and overall movement (round gesture) of transformation, and with a great intensity. In the ordinary functioning of life, there is the sense of “things are fine,” which in people is expressed by a sensation of good health, and on the other hand, disequilibrium, disorganization; well, now that opposition appears WHOLLY artificial: there’s only a continuous movement, with transitions from one type of vibration to another type of vibration whose origin is (what should I say? It’s not “deeper,” not “higher,” and “truer” gives only one side, it’s not that), anyway, “superior” in some way – words are idiotic, quite idiotic. That’s how it is, how it is all the time [this continuous movement]. So then, you are drawn to one place or another: it’s simply the play of our consciousness. But to an all-seeing consciousness, it’s a continuous and overall movement towards... yes, that’s it, it’s for this inert Inconscient to become the absolute Conscient.... I don’t know, I have a vague impression that they’ve discovered that a certain intensity of movement (that is, what we call “speed”) results in a sense of immobility I have a vague impression that I’ve been told that. But it corresponds to something. What I’ve called “peace” in the message, that peace... (I hesitate to speak because words are stupid), that peace, what’s felt as peace, is a paroxysm of movement, but a general movement – harmonious, general. As soon as one speaks, it becomes a caricature.

It has reached such a point that when someone says something to me, for instance reads back to me something I’ve said, I don’t understand anymore!... I try my best, but there’s the whole intensity of the Consciousness seeking to express itself, and when it’s read back to me, the intensity is no longer there, so it no longer makes any sense. Just this very message, when they read it to me, the experience came back, so I know how it was, and the word “peace” contained so many things!... Now it’s no longer there.

Yes, and the experience was that that same immutable peace (which is neither “peace” nor “immutable”! It’s “something”), that same Thing was there in inert unconsciousness. It was so concrete!... And then, the whole curve of the creation for that and That to become apparently one (but they ARE one – they are one). We might say (but it becomes sentences, it’s sentences): for that and That to become conscious of their identity…

But it’s a sentence.

The experience was so intensely concrete that as soon as I start talking, it comes down.

There (gesture above), the consciousness is clear, but then...

What can we do? We should use photos! We might make some progress, might we not? (Mother laughs)

26. February 1969 – All Principles of Morality

“Never judge on appearances, still less on gossip...

There. Then there was a whole group... I don’t know how to put it; it’s not sentences, but a sort of knowledge that, naturally, your judgments are more or less consciously based on the morality in which you were brought up and the morality of the country you live in. So I wrote:

“The morality of one country is immorality in another...

That’s a fact.

And here’s the end:

“The service of the Divine exacts a sincerity in the surrender unknown to all moralities.”

That’s true, no morality, no religion has that! No one has ever dared to say that to people. I hadn’t noticed it, it’s this occasion that made me notice it.

You mean that this surrender also entails abandoning all principles of morality.

Yes, of course. But especially this, that morality has never said, “Don’t see things in relation to yourself.” It has said, “You mustn’t be selfish, you must be good...” and all that, but never has it criticized this sense of a self existing separately from others, nowhere, while the true attitude demands it.

All that came very clearly – it comes as kinds of “tableaux,” I don’t know how to explain... and so clear! And it kept coming again and again; I tried to drive it away, but it came back again, until I wrote it down. Once I had written it down, it left me in peace.

These moralists imagine they’re “above,” above the fallen condition of “Others,” while they’re in the same sludge as everyone else!

(Mother laughs) Naturally! Oh, moralists think they’re very superior people.

But if you scratch a little, it’s not pretty.

Yes, it’s exactly the same thing.

26. February 1969 – A Work of Change of Consciousness

The work is going fast....

For me, things are going fast and going strong, and I would have to note them down constantly... There are difficult moments.

There’re too many, too many things, they can’t be said.

(Mother seems to speak from far away)

There is clearly a work of change of consciousness (Mother touches her body), and it’s going very, very fast, so I don’t remember the transitions, the passages....

It’s the sense of the body’s ego that has gone away, with a very strange result.... While the experience is there, I might just manage to describe it, but... First the sense of limit, that is, of the body existing as a separate thing, has disappeared; for instance, the sensation that “you” knock against “something else” (I don’t know how to explain) has completely gone. And it leaves...

I have no memory at all; I can’t keep a memory of something and relate it: I can relate it only at the time of the experience. But it’s almost visual, I don’t know how to explain (Mother looks at her hands), it’s not limited and... impossible, I can’t express it.

There is something existing in a constant, permanent way; it’s a sort of STATE of consciousness related to the material world... In the ordinary state, a sensation comes from a precise place in the body, it’s noted, recorded somewhere in the brain – now it’s no longer like that at all. The sensations... but they’re not exactly sensations: it’s a certain type of VIBRATION, and it comes from EVERYWHERE, like that (gesture all around); also like this (gesture from the body), but like that, like that... (gesture from every side), everywhere like that. So then, the consciousness... I’ve tried to see where the consciousness is, and it’s somewhere above; it’s everywhere, diffused absolutely everywhere, but there’s still a center of consciousness somewhere above (gesture above the head), as though it were more compact there; otherwise it’s everywhere, diffused everywhere, but it’s slightly more compact here (same gesture above the head), compact and stable, like that (Mother closes her two fists in an unshakable gesture), and that’s what conveys orders to the body (but all those words are idiotic; when I utter them they disgust me). You understand, that’s where the relationship with the Supreme Consciousness is established permanently and constantly – I say “Supreme Consciousness,” I’ve adopted these words so as not to make sentences all the time; I might say “the Divine,” but the Divine is so totally present everywhere that... It’s not the same thing (gesture above); I can’t call it “Will” because it has none of the characteristics of human will: it’s not a will “exerting itself on” something, that’s not it, it’s... IN ITSELF; it’s between vision, decision, will, power, all of it together. I don’t know. And much more than that. But that’s where the center is as far as the body and all that’s immediately around it is concerned. And that is... Strange, it’s extraordinarily imperative and all- powerful, and at the same time it’s the Peace (“peace” is a poor little word worth nothing much), it’s perfect Peace and Immobility (“immobility” is idiotic – but how are we to speak?!). And that is there constantly (gesture above Mother).

That’s what is taking the place of the conscious will as regards moving the body, for its internal functioning and for its action. And when the moment comes (it takes place gradually, but there’s a “moment”) for the old functioning – the ordinary functioning – to be eliminated or to disappear and be replaced by That (gesture above), the result is... (wobbly gesture), I don’t know if it’s long or brief, but there’s just a difficult transition. So then the body is caught between... (here or there, on one spot or another, for one thing or another) between the old habit and the new functioning. There’s just a transition of anguish. In most of its parts, the body is conscious of the stupidity of that anguish, but... the function or the part or... is seized with panic. Then it takes a material stillness for order to be restored.

That’s a wholly inadequate and stupid description, but I don’t know what to do! There are no words. It’s an approximation.

And all that takes place within a permanent Consciousness (Mother makes a round gesture), solid, you know, extraordinarily stable! It’s everywhere like that.

With a bombardment of intruding thoughts or sensations from others, like a ceaseless little bombardment which is beginning to be clearly perceived as coming from outside. But there’s a constant, constant need of purification.

There is something entirely different from what it was only three months ago, entirely different....

For the moment it’s still hard to express.

And the two things: the true Perception, and a sort of diminished, slowed down memory of the old way; and in that old way there are... all kinds of undesirable but general, universal things, which are hard to change for that reason, because the sort of “formation” now in the making is foreign, so to speak, to the world.

You understand, through people and things I am always in contact with the same Presence, but if for any reason the way of being of people and things imposes itself [on Mother], the body feels odd, the effect is odd.

I am still right in the middle of a transitional state.

(Mother looks at the clock) I think there are some impossible hours!

(silence)

That’s it, I am literally overburdened with work and people. And no Command or Insistence to free myself from it. There’s a sort of laissez-faire on the part of this eternal and smiling Peace (immense, rhythmical gesture), very smiling – eternal and smiling, like that.... And a sort of constant demonstration to the body that it’s not what tires it, it’s not the work, not people, not things, it’s not that at all that tires it: it’s its own transitional state and its own imperfection – that’s it, nothing else. So there.

In this Consciousness, there is something smiling in such peace!... It’s absolutely wonderful, it’s... Unless one has felt it, one can’t understand what it is. It’s something wonderful. And naturally that’s what is trying to... what is working – working to take control of all these cells.

There’s still a lot to be done. It’s odd... (Mother laughs).