August 1968

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03. August 1968 – What Auroville represents

"For millennia, we have been developing outer means, outer instruments, outer techniques of living — and finally those means and techniques are crushing us. The sign of the new humanity is a reversal in the standpoint, and the understanding that inner knowledge and inner technique can change the world and master it without crushing it.

"Auroville is the place where this new way of living is being worked out, it is a center of accelerated evolution where man must begin to change his world through the power of the inner spirit."

Then Mother goes into a long contemplation:

It seems to be accelerated transformation, it's a little crushing.

We'll see.

07. August 1968 – A letter from Sri Aurobindo to Mother

"One needs to have a calm heart, a settled will, entire self-abnegation and the eyes constantly fixed on the beyond to live undiscouraged in times like these which are truly a period of universal decomposition."[From a letter from Sri Aurobindo to Mother in France.]

Sri Aurobindo May 6, 1915

(Mother goes into a long contemplation)

What happened is this: the body suddenly (yes, it came over it one day like that) got a sort of... not exactly disgust, but at any rate a dissatisfaction at its way of being and all its movements, all its consciousness and everything, and then... (it obviously corresponded to a movement — a movement coming over it — of transformation), then there was complete decomposition. And very spontaneously, with all the sincerity it's capable of, it gave itself to the transformation, saying, "Either transformation or decomposition." Like that.

So things appear to have taken an accelerated turn, and all the old energy which came... in fact which came simply from the ego, from the sense of personality — gone. And materially, the result was that the pulse started behaving more than fancifully.

But spontaneously and constantly, the body is invoking, invoking, invoking....

Only, it's still in the phase when it hurts all over — everything is miserable, everywhere. And... there's no positive joy, you know, there's a sort of sense of wonder, but... And then, absolutely no strength.

I've been forced to cut down all the work; during the minute or minutes of contact with others, the Presence comes very positively, as always, but... (Mother shakes her head). Circumstances seem to arrange themselves to give proof of the Presence and Help; for instance, the power over others is still there, but this... (Mother points to her body, implying it can no longer retain anything and there is no longer any power over the body).

28. August 1968 – Mother’s new experience

For me, things have become very acute.... It was impossible to utter one word, one single word: as soon as I spoke, I would start coughing and coughing. Then I saw it was decided that I shouldn't speak. I remained like that and let the curve unfold. Afterwards, I understood. We haven't reached the end, but... (how should I put it?) we are on the other side.

At one point things were so acute... Usually I don't lose patience, but it had reached the point where everything, just everything in the being was as if annulled. Not only could I not speak, but my head was in a state it had never been in my whole existence — painful, you know. I couldn't see anything anymore, couldn't hear anything anymore. Then, one day (I'll tell you the experiences afterwards), one day when things were really... it was difficult, painful all over, the body said, it said really very spontaneously and very strongly, "I don't care in the least about being dissolved, I am quite ready to live, but this condition is impossible, it cannot go on — either live or die, but not this." And from that moment on, things started improving slightly. Little by little, they took their place and were sorted out.

I took a few notes, which aren't worth much, but I think they can be used (Mother looks for her notes on a table by her side). I can't see yet. I can't see, but I know.

The "Apropos" is very brief:

"The doctor recommends not to tire oneself. What is it that tires? — Only that which is useless.

"Seeing sincere people, to whom it does good, is not a fatigue.

"But those who come to judge theories and practices, those who, with their intelligence, think they are highly superior and capable of distinguishing the true from the false, who imagine they can decide whether a teaching is true and a practice is in accordance with the Supreme Reality, those are tiring and seeing them is useless, to say the least....

"...Let the higher intelligences putter along in their own sweet way, which will go on for millennia, and let them leave simple and goodwilled people, those who believe in the Divine Grace, free to move on quietly on their path of light."

"For several hours, the landscapes were wonderful, perfectly harmonious.

"For a long time too, visions inside immense temples, with living godheads. Each thing with a precise reason and purpose, to express non-mentalized states of consciousness.

"Constant visions.

"Landscapes.

"Constructions.

"Cities.

"The whole thing immense and very diverse, covering the entire visual field and expressing states of consciousness of the body.

"Many, a great many constructions, immense cities being built....

Yes, the world being built, the future world being built. I couldn't hear anymore, couldn't see anymore, couldn't speak anymore: I was living inside that all the time, all the time, night and day. So, as soon as I could write a note, I noted that.

"...All kinds of building styles, mostly new, inexpressible.

"These are not pictures seen, but places where I am."

Yes, that's right. I'll explain to you what happened. There's another note which is the beginning:

"The vital and the mind sent packing so that the physical may truly be left to its own resources."

All by itself! All alone. And I realized the extent to which the vital and the mind are what make you see and hear and able to speak. It was... I could see, in the sense that I was able to move about, but it quite lacked precision. It lacked precision. I heard still less than before, that is to say, very little — a little: sometimes the same as before; sometimes a very faint sound, very far away, which others couldn't hear, I heard; and when they spoke to me, I wouldn't hear: "What are you saying?" I don't know. And that was continuous, night and day.

One night (this is to tell you how everything was upset), one night I was in pain; something had happened and there was a rather strong pain: impossible to sleep. I remained concentrated like that, and the night went by in what seemed to be a few minutes. While at other times, on other days, at other moments, I was concentrated, and off and on I would ask for the time; once I thought I had remained like that for hours and hours, and I asked, "What time is it?" — Only five minutes had gone by.... You understand, everything was, I can't say upset, but of a completely different order, completely different.

"Do we know how Matter was formed?

"To say that it is condensed energy is simply pushing the problem back.

"The real question is: how does the Supreme manage to manifest himself as Matter?...

"...Do we know how long the earth has existed?

"When we speak of millions or billions of years, what does it mean?...

There were no watches, you understand!... It was the body which said with a child's simplicity, "You speak of billions of years, but what did you measure them with!"

"...Is it sure that what we call a year has always represented the same thing? During this recent period, I have had the awareness of the nonreality of our usual notion of time. At times, one minute seemed interminable; at other times, hours and even a day went by apparently without having lasted.

"Do they say there was a beginning? (Here A. explains to Mother the theory according to which the universe goes through successive phases of expansion and contraction, and Mother seems to like that theory.)

Yes, those are the pralayas.

"...Now it's the body that asks those questions. The mind went away long ago. But the body, the cells of the body would like to make contact with the true being, without, so to speak, having to go through the vital or even through the mind. That is what is taking place.

"During this period, two or three times I have had the Knowledge....

Ah, I had moments, two or three times absolutely unique and wonderful moments — untranslatable. It's untranslatable.

"But as soon as one is aware of such an experience...

You have the experience, then become aware of having it; the minute you become aware of having it, it grows dark. Something is darkened.

"But as soon as one is aware of such an experience, as soon as it is imprinted in the memory, it is already completely warped.

"That is, in reality, what happens for scientists. When they have a little fragment of knowledge, they must clothe it, travesty it to make it accessible to human consciousness, comprehensible to the mind.

(silence)

"Do we know how long man has existed?

"It will take less time for the superman to appear than it took for man to develop, but it isn't for right now....

That day, the 23rd, I was still... I was still in a muddle, mon petit! So I thought that to emerge from that muddle and become an effective being, who exists and acts, a long time will be needed. That's what I told him.

"We will have done what we could."

Yes, I told him that to comfort him!

And one night, here is what happened (Mother holds out another note, written by herself):

Night of the 26th

"Powerful and prolonged penetration of the supramental forces into the body, everywhere at the same time....

Penetration into the body. Yes, penetrations of currents I had had several times, but that night (two nights ago, that is), what came all of a sudden was as though there was nothing anymore except a supramental atmosphere. Nothing remained except that. My body was in it. And it was PRESSING to enter, from everywhere, but everywhere at the same time — everywhere. You understand, it wasn't a current flowing in, it was an atmosphere penetrating from everywhere. It lasted for at least four or five hours. And there was only one part that was BARELY penetrated: it was from here to here (gesture between the throat and the top of the head). Here it seemed gray and dull, as if the penetration were less... My teeth are in a dreadful state, my head is in a dreadful state — I tell you, I can't see anymore, can't hear anymore, can't... All this (from head to throat) is in need of a great transformation. But apart from it, all the rest without exception — it was pouring and pouring and pouring in.... I had never, ever seen that before, never! It lasted for hours — hours. Perfectly consciously.

So when it came and while it was there, I was conscious: "Oh, that's why, that's why! That's what You want from me, Lord, that's what! That's why, that's what You want." At that moment I had an impression that SOMETHING was going to happen.

I was hoping it would come back last night, but there was nothing.

It's the first time. For hours. Only That remained. And this (the body) was like a sponge soaking up.

But the head, it's still gray, dull — gray and dull. And the teeth quite spoilt, anyway still in a condition... But still, a very clear vision of all that has happened to this body for the past few months and... almost a hope. Almost a hope, as if I were told something might take place here. So there.

And that was in response to what the body had said, two or three days earlier perhaps, which I told you at the beginning: that it was quite ready to be dissolved (the surrender is perfect) and was quite ready to go on living in any circumstances, but not in this condition. Not in this state of decomposition. To that there was no response for two days, till that Penetration took place. That is to say, the very next day I was a little better, I could start... I couldn't even remain standing! I had no sense of balance, I had to be held up. I had lost the sense of balance, I couldn't take one step. That was when I protested. And the very next day, it started coming back.

Then came the 23rd, when I saw A., and I realized that when he was here, the BODY was wide awake — you understand, it wasn't the mind or the vital: they were gone!... I don't know if you can realize what it means!

A body without mind and without vital. It was in that state. There were only those perceptions [cities, constructions, temples], it was living in soul states: there were others' soul states, the soul states of the earth, the soul states... Those soul states were expressed in pictures. It was interesting. I can't say it wasn't interesting — it was — but there was no contact with material life, very little: I could hardly eat and couldn't walk.... Anyway it had become something others had to look after.

And through the contact with A., the body began to be interested in all that, asking questions quite spontaneously, without knowing why. It asked and asked, "Oh, so this is how we're made...." And it began to be amused.

It will take a little time.

When that Penetration came two nights ago, I thought, "Ah!..." I hoped the curve was going to accelerate and we would emerge soon, but last night there was nothing. Which makes me say it's going to take some more time.

"As if the entire body were bathing in forces penetrating it everywhere at the same time with a slight friction...."

"The head down to the neck was the least receptive region."

It’s the most mentalized region. It's the mind that obstructs.

I know, it's like that: the mind and vital have been instruments to... knead Matter — knead and knead and knead in every possible way: the vital through sensations, the mind through thoughts — knead and knead. But they strike me as transitory instruments which will be replaced by other states of consciousness.

You understand, they are a phase in the universal development, and they will be... they will fall off as instruments that have outlived their usefulness.

So then, I had the concrete experience of what this matter kneaded by the vital and the mind is, but WITHOUT vital and WITHOUT mind... It's something else.

But with that "perception of soul states," there were things... marvels! No mental conception, none at all, can be as wonderful — none. I lived moments... All that one can humanly feel and see is NOTHING in comparison with that. There were moments... absolutely wonderful moments. But without thought, without thought.

We could put that little "Apropos"... (where I poke fun at people!), then with all this you could prepare the "Notes."

"For man, in most cases, consciousness begins with sensation. For the body, all sensations had as if lessened, or rather dimmed: eyesight and hearing as if behind a veil. But an extremely clear perception of the degree of harmony or disharmony. Pictorial expression, NOT THOUGHT nor even felt."

I told you, I saw... It's not "seen" as you see a picture: it's BEING IN, being in a certain place. I've never seen or felt anything so beautiful! And it wasn't felt, it was... I don't know how to explain it. There were some absolutely wonderful, marvelous moments — unique. But it wasn't thought, I couldn't even describe — how can you describe? You can only start describing when you start thinking.

"The body's state of consciousness and the quality of its activity depend on the individual or individuals among whom it is....

Ah, that was very interesting! It was very interesting because I saw like this (gesture like a film unfolding), it was changing. If someone came near me, it would change. Near me were P., V., the doctor, and C. less often, now and then, but C. didn't have much effect on the atmosphere. But the other three, especially P. and V.... One day, mon petit, I don't know what happened to them: they were superhuman. A day when I must have been apparently in danger, I don't know. One day, the whole day long, the pictures (not "pictures": those places where I was) were so wonderfully beautiful, harmonious.... It was inexpressible, inexpressible. And with the slightest thing changing in their consciousness, lo and behold, everything would start changing! It was a sort of perpetual kaleidoscope, day and night. If there had been some way to record it... it was unique. Unique. And the body was in it, you understand, almost porous — porous, without resistance, as if the thing were passing through it.

I lived hours... the most wonderful hours, I believe, that one can live on earth.

And it was so expressive, so revealing! So expressive. One night, for two hours, there were those temples I mentioned (it wasn't physical), with such immensity and majesty... and LIVING godheads! Not pictures. And I know what it is. And then, the state of consciousness of Eternity, oh!... As if above all circumstances.

There were UNIQUE things, but how to tell them?... Impossible. Impossible: not even enough consciousness to be able to write.

"The seat and field of its [the body's] Consciousness as well as the quality of its activity change and vary according to the persons present, over a complete range, from the most material to the most spiritual, going through all the different types of intellectual activity.

"But the perception of the Presence is constant and associated with all the states of consciousness, whatever they may be...

Ah! I noticed that the cells, everywhere, you know, constantly, all the time, were repeating, OM NAMO BHAGAVATE, OM NAMO BHAGAVATE... constantly, all the time.

"...and OM Namo Bhagavate is repeated spontaneously and automatically in a sort of 'hazy' peace."

"The seat and field of its [the body's] Consciousness as well as the quality of its activity change and vary according to the persons present, over a complete range, from the most material to the most spiritual, going through all the different types of intellectual activity.

"But the perception of the Presence is constant and associated with all the states of consciousness, whatever they may be...

Ah! I noticed that the cells, everywhere, you know, constantly, all the time, were repeating, OM NAMO BHAGAVATE, OM NAMO BHAGAVATE... constantly, all the time.

"...and OM NAMO BHAGAVATE is repeated spontaneously and automatically in a sort of 'hazy' peace."

30. August 1968 – The mind as instrument

According to what I see now, it seems to me that the Mind has been the instrument needed to make the transition from unconsciousness to consciousness, that is, to make this Matter capable of receiving consciousness. But it will slowly be either transformed or eliminated.

The same thing with the Vital. The Vital took a very bad turn, of course; it's the Vital that has contained all the adverse forces and all difficulties. Well, it's the same thing: it was the first means to pull Matter out of the Inconscient. But once it has done its work... we might say (smiling), we'll do without these two scoundrels!

There's an experience (an experience Sri Aurobindo had constantly): there is an Intelligence highly superior to the Mind, which has nothing to do with the Mind. An "intelligence of things"... And that's why he called his new creation "supramental." He always used to describe it as a perfect understanding of things.