May 1968

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04. May 1968 – Aspiration and self-giving

Do you know this?

Sri Aurobindo's definition of purity is being exclusively under the influence of the Divine. So naturally, the Divine is exclusively under his own influence (!), and that's purity!

"Divine life in the process of evolution, the divine Consciousness at work in Matter — here is, so to speak, what this existence represents."

And at the same time, there was the clear vision, the very clear consciousness of the whole thing from the point of view of the earth's evolution: what's being worked out in the earth's evolution.

(long silence)

All these last days, there has been an INTENSE work, extremely intense, of impersonalization of the physical consciousness.... It results in a sort of... (unsteady gesture) You understand, the whole solid base that makes up the corporeal person — hop! gone, taken away. So then, at times there's a wobbliness. For instance, for perhaps ten or fifteen minutes, I had a total abolition of memory — of recollection and memory. And... Now I am used to those things (there's a tremendous number of them), so I stay like that, exclusively turned towards... all the cells are still, silent and exclusively turned towards the Force, the Consciousness, like this (gesture with the arms opened upward), and they wait. And then, there is a sort of concentration of energy, of force, and suddenly, as if coming from elsewhere (that's a very odd sensation)... You see, all that we do, all that we know, everything is based on a sort of semiconscious memory which is there — that's gone. And there's nothing anymore. It's replaced by a sort of luminous Presence, and... things are there, but you don't know how. It's not as if they had come back as before, it's not that, it's... They're there effortlessly. And what's there is ONLY JUST what's needed at a given moment. There isn't all that baggage you constantly drag behind yourself like that, as before, it's not that: there's JUST the thing you need. But you have to be very, very still; if you're restless or excited in the least, or even if you make an effort, there's nothing anymore.... And on the most material level, there is also a sort of perception that the whole material equilibrium of the past has disappeared too, and that anything may happen at any time.... Fortunately (that must be why it's done), fortunately the cells have a very ardent faith, very ardent.

I told you just before that I had felt that avalanche of attacks. It came in a very subtle form: the unreality of the conception that has been admitted and adopted — the unreality of the divine Presence in the body, the unreality of the world in transformation towards a more and more divine state; like an unreality surging up (gesture as of a wave from below), in a sly way, to cut off the base and support of the faith.

But the Consciousness was there, and the awareness that it was an attack; and there was no battle, no attempt to convince or anything, simply like that (Mother opens her arms upward), a TOTAL surrender.

And that... I told you, it can't be touched.

A luminous stillness.

And little by little, the whole consciousness of the cells emerges from that hold and is reborn in the Light.

It was very, very interesting.

And naturally, the attack came with all the suggestions of illness, death, decomposition, unreality — all of that swarming around.

There wasn't even one attempt of struggle or anything, nothing; quite simply (same gesture with open arms), an aspiration and self-giving.

18. May 1968 – Death and Consciousness

"Death is the phenomenon of decentralization and scattering of the cells making up the physical body.

"Consciousness is, in its very nature, immortal, and in order to manifest in the physical world, it clothes itself in material forms that are durable to a greater or lesser degree.

"The material substance is in process of transformation to become an increasingly perfect and durable multiform mode of expression for that consciousness."

I am going to send it to them. But I appreciated their notes....

The interesting thing (for me) is that when I opened these four notes yesterday evening and read Abhijit's first, "When circulation stops... ," then, I don't know, there certainly was a special grace over me, because I read those words and was instantly put in contact with the most objective, calm and detached scientific spirit — that was its way of seeing and describing the phenomenon: no emotion, no reaction, simply like that. And I saw (I understood and saw infinitely more than the boy put into it) a whole wisdom there, a scientific wisdom. And at the same time, the perception of the remedy in the evolutionary course of things. The most material remedy.

It gave me a whole series of experiences in the night and the morning, certainly far exceeding the field covered by their four reflections.... With the little girl [Rita], there was the impression, the vision of all those to whom death is a gateway to a marvelous realization.

It all came so spontaneously and naturally that I felt as if it was THERE. Now that you've read it back to me (laughing), I realize it's not there! But it came so spontaneously: I sat there, reading those four notes, and it came one after another. Especially Abhijit's, this completely objective, or anyway completely detached vision of the phenomenon: "Circulation stops..." As if you were looking at a small instrument or tool (Mother gestures as if fingering a small object), and you remarked, "Oh, it's stopped now... that's why it no longer works." Like that. In other words, none of those uncertainties or anxieties or aspirations.... All that was emotions, sentiments, psychological phenomena — it was all completely absent.... A very simple little contraption (same fingering gesture) which you look at as you would a machine, and the machine stops "because it no longer goes like that." There. And as a result, this body was completely detached from all human anguish — from everything: not only from anguish, but from the habit, the whole human formation about death — it was all gone. As if I were all the way up above, like that, and looking all the way down — hup! it went away.

It's what we might express as perfect detachment from the phenomenon.

And then, after that, without trying or thinking or anything, this note came. It came in such an impersonal way that you saw the difficulty I had reading it: I didn't remember one word of what I had written. It came, I wrote it down, and that was that. "I" wrote, that is, I was made to write it down so as to send it to them.

I'll make a decent copy of it (Mother looks for a paper and goes on).... So then, it put everything in perspective.... Ah, I must add something to let you understand. I saw D. yesterday, and as she had written to me that she "didn't know how to meditate, but that anyhow she would keep quiet so as not to disturb me" (!), naturally I started talking! But then, I said things to her that I had never said before (and which I wouldn't be able to repeat — neither would she, because she understood only very, very little of what I said). I told her that from the standpoint of the manifestation (I didn't speak about beyond the manifestation), from the standpoint of the manifestation, there is only one thing that is true: Consciousness. And that all the rest is the APPEARANCE of something, but not the thing; that THE thing is Consciousness, and all the rest is a sort of play in which everyone has the illusion of being a personality, but it's an illusion.... While I was speaking, I had the perfectly sincere and spontaneous experience of it. And I realized that this experience of the SINGLE Consciousness playing through innumerable forms... (Mother breaks off)

But one cannot express that, words can't. While I was speaking, it was that Consciousness which spoke.... And the two experiences together (the children's notes, I read them yesterday evening; as for D., I had seen her in the morning), the two together gave me the detachment (it's not detachment: it's a liberation) from the phenomenon of death in such an absolute way that I was able to look throughout History, far into the past, at the whole human tragedy.... That is to say, death is a natural phenomenon in the creation on earth, but as a means of TRANSITION — I clearly saw why it had become necessary, how, with the human consciousness and mental development, it had been turned into a tragedy, and how it was becoming again merely a means of transition (a clumsy means, we might say), which was now becoming unnecessary again.

There was that whole, overall vision of the history of the creation. It was really interesting. Interesting because... whew! you felt so free! So free, so peaceful, so smiling! And at the same time, with such a certitude that everything is moving towards a more harmonious, less chaotic, less painful manifestation... and that there is only one more step to be made in the creation.

What I admired (I often admire this) was that it's often apparently mediocre or rather unimportant things (all that people regard as insignificant), it's generally what brings on the most considerable progress. In the course of yesterday, and apparently (I know it's only an appearance), apparently through D.'s visit and those children's answers, that entire phase of the manifestation became clear, found its place and lost all its power of influence and all its grip on the consciousness. It was as if the consciousness rose wholly free and luminous, joyous, above all that.

Very small things.

(silence)

This morning, after I wrote this, I happened to look back on this body's history, just like that, its whole history at a glance (gesture like a beacon), with bewildered eyes.... How many emotions, experiences, discoveries, oh... (I can't say dramas, because it was never much inclined to drama), but how many "experiences," "discoveries" (Mother speaks in a grandiloquent tone), "revelations" it has gone though... (laughing) to rediscover what was always known!

It's amusing.

The concluding state (after having written this note): first there was that completely spontaneous, natural, evident perception of the Consciousness using a thing and then leaving it, letting it fall apart when it can no longer be used — but it wasn't that: it wasn't even taking a thing, utilizing it, making use of it until it becomes unusable; it was a CONTINUOUS movement (supple gesture like an immense wave) within a single substance, with, as it were, moments of concentration and utilization of something to its utmost possibility, and then, moments not of rejection but of expansion, of immensity of peace — of return to a state of immensity of peace so as to take a new shape. A continuous thing, like this (same gesture like an immense wave), but then without real loss, without real waste: death is a mere appearance, you no longer even understand how one can live in this illusion. And THE Consciousness, ONE Consciousness — not this and that and this (gesture showing an addition of separate individualities), no, no: ONE consciousness... playing.

(silence)

There was still somewhere the notion of effort so as to be equal to the task that had been given; there was still, yes, the notion of effort, the notion of struggle. And that's gone. It was gone — it is gone.

It almost started with a question put by the body; it asked, "Why, why are you anxious to keep me? It's no great shakes" (it was very familiar with itself), "it's not in such a remarkable state." (But it wasn't suffering, it wasn't at all miserable, not at all: it was looking at things with a smile.) And then there was that response.... I can't say there are even any questions left: things are what they are, spontaneously so, in a perpetual smile and a vibration... such a light, luminous vibration!... Without any contradiction. A vibration of expansion and progress. I could see the picture: expansion and progress.

Especially effort, struggle, and even more so, suffering, pain, all of that — gone! Gone... really like an illusion.

I might say it was (I say "was" because now I can talk about it; at the time of the experience I couldn't have), it's the state in which death has no reality — death and all that goes together with it and all that made it necessary in the course of evolution.

(Mother begins making a fair copy of her note)

I don't know who wrote it. Now I constantly write things without really knowing who writes them. Sometimes I clearly know it's Sri Aurobindo, but at other times I don't know in the least. But it's someone who isn't on earth, that I know.

Look, I'll give you an interesting example (Mother goes over a paragraph of her note again). You see, in my state of consciousness, I would have said (as the nearest approximation to the thing): "Consciousness is, in its very nature, immortal, and in order to manifest in the physical world, it CONDENSES into material forms, etc. And there came insistently, "No, CLOTHES ITSELF in forms." But my spontaneous impulse was to say "condenses into forms," because I saw that movement: a movement of condensation, manifestation, and, when that is over, of expansion. A continuous movement condensing and spreading, condensing and spreading... (gesture like the pulsation of an ocean). But it was imperative: it had to be "clothes itself." So it's quite certain it's written by someone else. But there's no sense of being "someone" and that "someone else" wants to write or speak — it's not that! Similarly, when I say (I feel and know) it's Sri Aurobindo, it's not that I see him materially and he takes my hand and makes me write — nothing of all that. It's something fluid that concentrates and causes to write. And it's the quality of that fluidity that lets me know who it is. It's quite odd. There's a sort of complete disappearance of the sense of separation, yet a sense of diversity remains — diversity of modes of being — but it's no longer demarcated, as if cut off and separate (Mother draws small cubes): it's like vibratory modes of perception and action (and the quality of the vibration is different), vibratory modes of perception and action succeeding one another, intermingling, superposed on one another. A sort of fluid play: no longer separate little puppets.

My nights are ENTIRELY like that. During the day, there is still something of the old habit, but in the night, it's instantly like that.

Yet, by analogy (it's not an analogy, it's a correspondence), I can tell it has to do with what we call "this one" or "that one," this or that other person. Last night, for instance, I spent a long time with M. and G. who were frantically calling me (they left from here and have reached England), I spent a long time with them, but they were no longer "persons," the puppets we are, it wasn't that! Yet it was them. The contact was very accurate, very precise, the vibratory qualities were very clear. And there were forms: forms can be seen, but it no longer has the same quality. There's something hard, opaque and clumsy that disappears.

It's the same thing in the transcription (pointing to the note). When it comes down, there is a will to write, and somewhere there, something might have said as I told you: "But it's a condensation of the consciousness."

It wasn't explained, but it was clearly conscious: the time for that hasn't come.

This consciousness is extremely, extremely conscious, not only of the thing, not only of the goal, not only of the means, but even of the conditions: all of it together. In this unfolding immensity, when That looks, It knows exactly that, at this moment, this is how things must be and how they must be done.

It's free in an absolute way — spontaneously free. Spontaneously. All action is spontaneous. It's like a vision. A vision expressing itself.

(Mother finishes copying her note)

It's more and more interesting. There's absolutely no thought, you know, nothing: one second before, I don't know, and then it comes in an absolute way. Sometimes when it comes, something sits up and says, "For my part, I would put it this way, my experience is like this" (as I told you earlier). — "No, it IS like that."

Yesterday, I saw someone whom I don't want to name and I started talking to her. I didn't know, there wasn't any thought or anything before. I started speaking, and I said, "There we are, we are at the time when we are going to see things....[^2] There are long, long, very long periods during which things are prepared; there is, afterwards, a very long, very long period during which things develop, organize, settle and bear consequences; but between this and that, there is a moment when things are done, when they happen. It's not always very long (sometimes it is, at other times it's very brief), but that's when something happens. And that "something" is what will give the world a new development. Well, we are just — as it happens, we are just at such a moment. Which means that if we are (people, most of the time, are blind), if we aren't blind, if our eyes are open, we WILL SEE, we will see things.

[^2]: This is the time of the students' revolt in Paris — May 1968.

The occasion for all that (to place the thing) was that I said, "The U.S. president will go to Russia to sign a peace treaty with Vietnam...."[^3] There are two similar circumstances at the same time, so that three peace treaties are going to be signed at the same time.

[^3]: It is in January, 1973, that the cease-fire will come into force in Vietnam.

When events start following such a trend, it shows we are going to see things.

(silence)

Some people are in the night, in the past, in falsehood up to here (gesture to the eyebrows), they see nothing, nothing, nothing — they will go right to the end without seeing anything.

But those whose eyes are open will see.

22. May 1968 – Truth, Faith, Trust

Mother holds out the text of a note:

"Through the widening of its consciousness, this body is more or less identified with those around it.

"Every effort made towards the purification of one's physical consciousness is so much less work for this body."

The concrete action of this Force, which Sri Aurobindo called the "supramental force," its first contact and first aspect is an aspect of Truth.[^2] As Sri Aurobindo said, Truth had to manifest first, before the Power of Love.

[^2]: It should be understood that the word "truth" is not used in a philosophical or moral or ideal sense: it is reality AS IT IS, the world AS IT IS without its cloak of falsehood. Real life is a "miracle."

In comparison with the course life used to follow, it's really something of a miracle — miracle in the sense that the speed of the transformation and action is at the very least unusual.

There are two things it's conscious of: a more and more intense adoration in the cells, oh, like this (gesture like a rising flame), and at the same time, such an acute sense of the extent to which the cells are not what they should be, of the unworthiness of their condition. Those two things are constant and constantly together. And that's all. And when I am told of cases like this one, of disease or something else (I am told three, four, five such cases every day, things like that constantly happen — I gave you this one as a very concrete example because it's happened just now and you know R.), the body isn't even aware of being used as an intermediary, because it's too conscious of its infirmity, of what it should be and isn't yet.... It's like that cure [of the swelling of Mother's face], it was a cure like R.'s, almost spontaneous: it happened all of a sudden and went away. But of course, the body is perfectly conscious of the splendor of a Marvel... a Marvel beyond all understanding.

And then, there is in the consciousness the very strong feeling — very strong — that the time has come.

I said this to Rijuta the other day: there are immense periods during which things are prepared — the past wears out and the future is prepared — and those are immense periods... neutral, drab, during which things keep repeating themselves over and over, and look as if they will always remain that way. Then, all of a sudden, between two such periods, the change takes place. Like the moment when man appeared on earth — now it's something else, another being.

(silence)

With this latest adventure [the attack on Mother], this body has learned trust. It was very much steeped in pessimism because of its material antecedents. Certain antecedents, that is, father and mother, had been chosen for their great practicality and a very concrete material honesty, but no mysticism, nothing of the sort — deliberately. But then, it gave a kind of... not exactly pessimism, but a very sharp vision of how things go wrong. The body had that, and its faith had to struggle against a habit of expecting difficulty, obstacles, resistance; although it had complete faith in the final Victory, it couldn't overcome the habit of expecting difficulties on the path.... This latest adventure has given it a good push forward: its trust is much more smiling. And the general vision is as I told you. And constantly, all the time, even at the time of the worst difficulties, all the time there is... it wells up from the cells, like a golden hymn: an incantation, you know, a call, an incantation to the supreme Power.... And with such faith! A marvelous faith.

It's the higher Power COMPELLING people to do what they must do. Between now and that (which is a long way ahead), there must be the power of an IMMOBILE number. And the vision was very clear: if millions — not thousands, millions — of people assemble together and occupy the place absolutely peacefully (simply assemble and occupy the place, naturally with representatives who will say what they like), then it will have power. But there must be no violence; as soon as one indulges in violence, it's the return to the past and the open door to all conflicts....

France is in a privileged situation: India first and France afterwards, for reasons of... simply of receptivity. France has always tried to be ahead — which in fact is why this body was born there.

I don't know if I have ever told you, but there has been — there has always been — an identification of this body's consciousness with all revolutionary movements. I have always known and guided them even before news of them came out: in Russia, in Italy, in Spain and elsewhere — always, everywhere. And essentially, it was always the same Force seeking to hasten the coming of the future — always — but constrained to adapt its means of action to the state of the mass.

And now, the state of the earth would seem to be precisely such that what is at the very least being prepared (if it's not yet actually like that) is the manifestation of the mass in a kind of silent and immobile will.... And that's an intermediate period to reach the condition in which this mass will be held under the control and directly driven by the Power from above.

That's where we are heading.

25. May 1968 – Adversity is within us

When now people tell me about attacks by adverse forces, I always feel like saying to them, "The adversity is within you!"

I think it's a very convenient way to get impunity.... Because if you are perfect, they can't do anything against you. It's absolutely obvious. It's imperfections that give them power. So if we shift our standpoint as Sri Aurobindo did, we'll see, as he said, that the so-called adverse forces are tolerated because they are useful to awaken people to the need for transformation, to the urgency of purification.

29. May 1968 – We must face integral life

"This idea is what led to monastic life shut in a convent, or to ascetic life in the cave or the forest.

"This remedy has proved to be totally ineffective and has not pulled mankind out of its quagmire.

"According to Sri Aurobindo, the remedy is altogether different.

"We must face integral life with all that it still entails in terms of ugliness, falsehood and cruelty, but while taking care to discover in ourselves the source of all goodness, all beauty, all light and all truth, in order to consciously put that source in contact with the world so it may transform it.

"That is infinitely more difficult than fleeing or closing one's eyes so as not to see — but it is the only really effective way, the way of those who are truly strong and pure and capable of manifesting the Truth.