April 1967

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03. April 1967 – Absolute omnipotence; Limitations of the body

Here is what I wrote for the opening of the sports season:

"...I must tell you once more that for us spiritual life does not mean contempt for Matter but its divinization. We do not want to reject the body but to transform it. For this, physical education is one of the means most directly effective..."

Last time, there was something I didn't have the time to tell you; now, regrettably, it's only a memory — not quite, not just a memory, something remains. The effect remains. But while it was there ...

Sri Aurobindo said, but he said it as the expression of a knowledge that had always been expressed at the summit of the scale of consciousness, as one more rung beyond the state in which one knows (one knows it, lives it), that the essential Oneness, that everything is "That," is the expression or manifestation or objectification or... of "That." Naturally, according to the times and epochs and milieus, it has been said in different words, but it seems to be the supreme experience. And the conclusion, when you go outside of time and space, is that all is from all eternity.

Sri Aurobindo regarded this (we talked about it), he regarded it as the realization (not just the knowledge: the realization) which gives supreme Peace and puts an end to all the whys and hows and all the wills to rectify things. All that, that whole drama of life, disappears when you realize that.

I have had this experience. I've had it in an almost constant way. And in the most conscious part of the being (that which is one with the heights), the expression of this experience, let's say, "All is from all eternity" or "All is the expression of the supreme Vision" (I am not using the word "will," I'll say why in a moment), there was the sense of a limitation. I don't know how to express it, but that's how it was (it goes without saying that all words are approximations). Always, each time the experience was there, it was there with the sense that... to put it crudely I might express it with the phrase, "That's not it!"

So the other day (the day before I saw you), it came at the time of my experiences, that is, very early morning (the time of my lived experiences), and it was like that, with that same sense of inadequacy. Then I entered a certain state in which "that" remained quite luminous and clear, but at the same time — at the same time, simultaneously — there came the perception... (how can I put it?) of the original Vibration, as it were, in all the splendour of its all-powerful Light, and the two things — that and That — were simultaneously translated on the level of expression, without opposition, both together like this (Mother clasps her two hands, interlacing her fingers), tightly joined, in an identical Light: every instant — every instant — it's like a pulsation of that Force (it is: creative Force-Light-Power, contained in the global Vibration of Love); with every pulsation, a complete re-creation.

When the two things are like this (same gesture) and you live in that Consciousness, then there is a sense of absolute Freedom: that nothing is impossible.

It lasted for a few minutes perhaps, complete; then it began to be objectified, but at first it simply was... that IS, that IS. Afterwards it began being objectified, that is to say, to be a witness of That at the same time as one is that — a slight descent. But at that moment, while it was there, it was THAT.

It was omnipotence.

Absolute omnipotence.

Then, at the same time, at the same moment, there came the experience (not an objectified one), the experience that the Will is on a much lower level than "That," or rather, much more external. Because the Will sees and does — sees AND does — whereas there, it's not seeing AND executing AND doing, or seeing AND being: it's simultaneous. It's something above vision — above vision and above will — something ... (silence) something that IS. And at that moment, simultaneously, that is to say, without any possible space (space or time, of course, it's quite outside that, because it's not a vision that sees itself seeing, it's not a perception that's conscious of its perception, not a consciousness conscious of its consciousness), it IS, like that (one could say), such as it will be projected in space and time.

So when we say, "To want what God wants" or "To unite with the divine Will," it's our way of looking (gesture from the bottom upwards, or from below to above). And it's quite approximate. But there... And the marvellous thing is that it's not what we in our infirmity may conceive of as a simplification, it's really... the Whole: the manifested, the non-manifested, the yet-to-be-manifested, everything, but everything — the Whole. At that second, when you are there, it's omnipotence. Omnipotence, absolute freedom, the unforeseeable, and the existent whole. And that ...

Naturally, words are idiotic.

When I came back from That (it lasted long enough for me to have the full experience of it — full, total), there were many things I then understood. One, for instance, which I had noticed with Sri Aurobindo for all the small details of life, well all things as they are on earth — mere nothings; when I went to him with an inner vision and said to him, "This is how I see that" (I would say it to him with words or not), it would AUTOMATICALLY become true, it would become real: things that were neither in my hands nor in his nor... And it wasn't that we would take a decision: it was automatic. I noticed this several times and found it wonderful.... It so happens that in a few psychological cases, that is, when it has to do with individual consciousness, since quite recently (it hasn't been like that very long), when someone is sincere (one must be sincere) and expresses an aspiration, for instance, a hope, or a vision of how he or she should be, I have seen this same phenomenon occur: it automatically becomes true.

It's not very frequent yet, but it has happened. And now I understand how it happens.

The day we are able to keep that state I was in the other day, wherein the will is already a secondary movement, then it will be like that: it's omnipotence. Because those two ideas that appear most contradictory are only as if two ways of looking at... the same thing.

Naturally, when you try to bring that back into the consciousness that expresses itself, it becomes very difficult, but when you live it, while you live it, it's different.

Now the experience has become a memory, but a memory that remains quite living and whose effect in the cells (Mother touches the skin of her hands) is making itself felt constantly. It is expressed here as a sense of a Freedom of choice. And a choice all-powerful in its execution. The impression that... with life's every pulsation, the universe chooses... what it is.

(silence)

It was followed by another peculiar experience.... Some people in Bombay have taken it into their heads to prepare a big event for 1968, when I turn ninety (supposedly ninety!). So they have prepared brochures which they are going to distribute to lots of people and so on — I am quite indifferent to it, but they sent it to me for my approval. I stuck it in a corner and didn't bother about it. They returned to the charge, went and saw Nolini, said they were in a hurry because it's a big work and they needed to have it right away, so I shouldn't keep them waiting. So Nolini started reading out the brochure. And as he was reading... (they included all that Sri Aurobindo said on the "universal Mother," the Mother's "Aspects" and all that, the whole old story — generally it leaves me quite indifferent), but while he was reading, when he gave all the quotations and sentences, there was a kind of sensation (I don't know how to explain it), a sensation of imposed limitation, with a malaise, and something that wanted to break those limits. I didn't say anything. I said, "I don't want to concern myself with this, do what you like, it's no business of mine." And he answered along those lines, politely. But I found it very interesting, because that sense of malaise, of constriction — limitation, constriction — was very, very strong. So I said, "What's going on? What is it, why do I feel this way? What is it?..." As I said, usually I let myself float in an indifference, like that — not "indifference," but... (vast gesture). Instead of that, it was as if someone wanted to shut me in something. Then I looked, and the memory of the experience [of the pulsations] came back, and I understood. It's interesting.

All this is felt in the body; all the experiences are in the body, in this — which, besides... I sometimes look (laughing), I look to see (I look from above), to see if there's still a form! (Mother laughs)... It's peculiar. And why does it remain like this?... Oh, I have stopped asking this question too. It's like that... it's like that as the effect of a supreme Grace, because if it were otherwise... it would be intolerable — intolerable for everybody.

Just the state of consciousness when I act spontaneously (the "I" is a habit of speech, it's to avoid having to make sentences), when I act spontaneously, without objectifying myself, it is generally fairly unbearable: the reactions in others are tiresome. I always have to [contain myself] ... It does happen, but generally I am obliged to be careful, especially when I have to speak.

And there is a very amusing observation; it's exactly what Sri Aurobindo writes in Savitri: "The wise men talk and sleep..." God grows up while the wise men talk and sleep. And that's how it is: wholly unconscious of what goes on. I don't say it (I am saying it to you), but they are wholly unconscious. I constantly feel I am using a candle snuffer! so as not to be... really unbearable.

When this luminous Power comes, it's so compact — so compact that it gives the impression of being much heavier than Matter. It's veiled, veiled, veiled, otherwise... unbearable.

A few shall see what none yet understands;


God shall grow up while the wise men talk and sleep;


For man shall not know the coming till its hour


And belief shall be not till the work is done.

I.IV.55

(silence)

When Nolini read me sentences from that brochure, at first when I felt that malaise, I wondered... Because, as I have said several times, for the transformation to take place freely in this body, those very Entities and Powers and Beings were all keeping at a distance, they were no longer manifesting so as not to cause any mixture and so this (body) could be transformed. At first I thought, "That's what it is: I have lost (the body, I mean), has lost the habit of manifesting that (the gods, the aspects of the Mother), and so, when it comes into contact with that, there is a malaise." I thought it was that. And for a day (a whole day), it came back again and again, like a problem to be resolved. Then, suddenly, looking at it attentively, I saw it was the very opposite! I saw it was the sense of a constriction, of a limitation. Instead of it being an unbearable weight (those gods or aspects of the Mother), it was something preventing the free manifestation!... It seems so limited — all those Entities, all those Powers, all those qualities, all those differences, all those attributes, all... oh! (Mother makes a cramped gesture)

There, that's what I wanted to tell you today.

(silence)

Experiences sometimes come and then go away. Often in the past, experiences would come, show themselves, then go away. But this, it isn't like that: it has remained HERE, but... this (the body) isn't yet entirely ready for That to be able to be here all the time. But it's here, the contact hasn't been abolished. Only, it's not the Manifestation.

This (the body) still has too many limitations, a lot of limitations.

05. April 1967 – Sri Aurobindo is only the future...

"It is the division between 'ordinary life' and 'spiritual life' which is antiquated and obsolete...."

When the cells get into this state, it's wonderful, you can't imagine! It changes life completely. They are like that: a sense of wonder at the first Contact. "Is it possible? Can it be that beautiful! Is it possible?" Like that. And constantly, all the time, at any moment, about anything: "Can it possibly be like that?" Such a sense of wonder! Then you see the difference with the old habits and everything people have had crammed into their heads (renunciation, the beyond) — it's marvellous! Unbelievable. All morning again it was like that.... There comes a malaise (it always comes from outside, from this and that, in relation to this and that; that's how it comes), and immediately, they remember immediately. They remember, they say, "No! What You will, Lord." That's their attitude, an attitude of such complete self-giving! Much, much more complete, much simpler, much more charming than in any other part of the being. It's, "What You will.... You, You, You, what You will. To be... to be You not with an idea of aggrandizement, but to melt, to flow, to disappear in You like that." And then, "But You are reality!" And all these words are a diminution. Diminution not of sensation, but of consciousness — it's a marvel of consciousness, you know: "You, You ... But You alone exist, You alone are." Then all the discomforts, all the pains, they vanish without a trace. It's a marvel, one can't imagine!

Sri Aurobindo once wrote somewhere, after an experience like this of the Divine Presence in the being, he wrote, "If men knew how marvellous is the way.... But they don't know." He wrote it, I can't quote because I'll quote it incorrectly, but he had this experience, "If men knew how marvellous it is, they wouldn't hesitate for a minute."

Now they still make a distinction: the "spiritual life" and the "ordinary life."

Only, one should have what I had when I was very young: the sense of material realization in its utmost perfection, the will for perfection THERE. One should have this in order not to fling everything out of the window and just remain like that (beatific gesture), like an idiot doing nothing. It's thanks to that old discipline that everything I do is automatically done with a will for perfection. It's an old discipline. Otherwise one would be there, laughing at everyone and everything, "Have my experience, you'll see what it's worth!"

It's really interesting.

They teach History OR spiritual things, they teach Science OR spiritual things. That's what is idiotic! In History, there is the Spirit; in Science, there is the Spirit — the Truth is everywhere. And what is needed is to teach it not in an untruthful but in a true way.

They can't get that into their heads.

"There's no such thing as 'spiritual life'!"

It's still the old idea. Still the old idea of the sage, the yogi, the sannyasi, the... who represents spiritual life, while all others represent ordinary life — but it's not true! It's not true, not true at all.

If they still need to oppose one thing to another (because that wretched mind doesn't work when it's not given an opposition), if they need an opposition, let them take the opposition between Truth and Falsehood, it's somewhat better (I am not saying it's perfect, but it's somewhat better). But then, in all things Falsehood and Truth are there, mixed, everywhere; in the so-called "spiritual life," in the sannyasins, the swamis, those who think they represent divine life on earth, all that, there is also that mixture of Falsehood and Truth.

It would be better not to make a split.

(silence)

For the children, precisely because they are children, the best would be to inculcate in them the will to conquer the future; the will to look ahead always and to move forward as rapidly as they can towards ... what will be. But not to drag along, like a millstone around their necks, the burden of a whole past weighing down on them. Only when you are already very high up in consciousness and knowledge is it good to look back in order to find the points wherein the future began to be outlined. When you can see the whole at a glance, when you have a very general vision, it's interesting to know that what will be realized ahead was already announced before; just as Sri Aurobindo said that "the divine life will manifest on earth because it is ALREADY buried in the depths of Matter." From this point of view it's interesting to look back or look at the very bottom (not in order to know what happened or to know what men have known — that's quite useless).

As for the child, he should be told, "There are marvels to be manifested, prepare yourself to receive them." Then, if they want something a little more concrete and easy to understand, they can be told, "Sri Aurobindo came to announce these things; when you are able to read him, you will understand." This awakens the interest and the desire to learn.

Oh, but not so long ago, the majority of the teachers were saying, "Ah, we must do this here because it's done everywhere." They have (smiling) already come a little way. But they still have a long way to go.

But above all, what is most important is to get rid of that division. And they all have it in their minds — each and everyone of them! The division between living a spiritual life or living the ordinary life, having a spiritual consciousness or having an ordinary consciousness — there is only ONE consciousness!

In most people it's three-quarters asleep and distorted; in many it's still quite distorted. But what's necessary is not to leap from one consciousness to the other — it is, quite simply, to open one's consciousness (gesture upward) and fill it with the vibrations of the Truth, putting it in harmony with what must be here (up there, it's from all eternity), but HERE, what must be HERE: the tomorrow of the earth. And if you weigh yourself down with a whole burden that you have to drag along ... if you drag behind you all that you should let go of, you won't be able to move forward very fast.

Mind you, knowing things from the past of the earth can be very interesting and useful, but it must not be something that binds you or holds you back. If you use it as a springboard, it's all right. But in fact, it's rather secondary.

From the individual standpoint, there was a time (besides, it was fairly widespread in people who dealt with so-called occult things) when it seemed thrilling to know one's past lives, one's past experiences; but as soon as I came here and I understood the change that Sri Aurobindo had brought about, I found all that absolutely immaterial. It's childish curiosity. It doesn't help you in any way, it's merely either to glory in it or for fun, but it's unimportant. Some people still write to me, "Will you please tell me what my past lives were?" I answer them, "It's not interesting. What's interesting is the life you want to realize, not the errors you made in the past!"

(silence)

It would be interesting to formulate or work out a new method of teaching for the children, taking them very young. Very young, it's easy. We need people (oh, we would need remarkable teachers) who have, first of all, sufficient documentation on what is known to be able to answer any question; and at the same time, at least the knowledge, if not the experience (the experience would be better) of the true intuitive intellectual attitude, and ... (naturally, the capacity would be still preferable) but in any case the knowledge that the true way to know is mental silence: an attentive silence turned towards the truer Consciousness, and the capacity to receive what comes from there. The best would be to have that capacity; in any case, it should be explained that it's the true thing, a kind of demonstration, and that it works not only with regard to what must be learned, the whole field of knowledge, but also with regard to the whole field of what must be done: the capacity to receive the exact indication of HOW to do it, and as one progresses, it turns into a very clear perception of what must be done, and the precise indication of WHEN it must be done. At the very least, as soon as the children have the capacity to reflect (it begins at seven, but around fourteen or fifteen it's very clear), they should be given some first hints at the age of seven, and a complete explanation at fourteen, of how to do it and that it's the sole means of being in contact with the deeper truth of things; that all the rest is a more or less clumsy mental approximation of something you can know directly.

The conclusion is that the teachers themselves should have at least a sincere beginning of discipline and experience: it is not a question of piling up books and of repeating them like that. That's not the way to be a teacher — the whole earth is like that, let it be like that outside if it makes them happy! As for us, we aren't propagandists, we simply want to show what can be done and try to prove that it MUST be done.

When you begin with very small children, it's wonderful! With them, there's so little you have to do: it suffices TO BE.

Never make a mistake.

Never get angry.

Always understand.

Understand and see clearly why this movement took place, why that impulse, what the child's inner constitution is, which point needs to be strengthened and brought to the fore. That's all you have to do, and then leave them: leave them free to blossom, just give them the opportunity to see many things, touch many things, do as many things as possible. It's great fun. And above all, do not try to impose on them something you think you know.

Never scold, always understand, and, if the child is capable, explain. If he isn't capable of understanding an explanation (if you are yourself capable of it), replace the false vibration by a true one. But that... that's asking of the teachers a perfection they rarely have.

But it would be very interesting to draw up a program for the teachers, and the real program for study, starting with the very small ones — they are so plastic and anything leaves such a deep stamp on them! If they were given a few drops of truth when they are very small, they would blossom out quite naturally as their being grows.

That would be a nice work.

ADDENDUM

(Mother's answer in English to the School teachers when she was told that the new special afternoon classes at the library had chosen as a first research theme "India's Spiritual History.")

No! It won't do. It is not to be done that way. You should begin with a big "BANG"!

You were trying to show the continuity of History, with Sri Aurobindo as the outcome, the culmination — it is false, entirely.

Sri Aurobindo does not belong to History; he is outside and beyond History.

Till the birth of Sri Aurobindo, religions and spiritualities were always centered on past figures, and they were showing as "the goal" the negation of life upon earth. So, you had a choice between two alternatives: either a life in this world with its round of petty pleasures and pains, joys and sufferings, threatened by hell if you were not behaving properly; or an escape into another world, heaven, nirvana, moksha [liberation]....

Between the two there is nothing much to choose from, they are equally bad.

Sri Aurobindo has told us that this was a fundamental mistake which accounts for the weakness and degradation of India. Buddhism, Jainism, Illusionism were sufficient to sap all energy out of the country.

True, India is the only place in the world which is still aware that something else than matter exists. The other countries have quite forgotten it: Europe, America and elsewhere.... That is why she still has a message to preserve and deliver to the world. But at present she is splashing and floundering in the muddle.

Sri Aurobindo has shown that the truth does not lie in running away from earthly life but in remaining in it, to transform it, divinize it, so that the Divine can manifest HERE, in this PHYSICAL WORLD.

You should tell all this at the first sitting. You should be square and frank.

Then, when this is told, strongly, squarely, and there is no doubt about it — and then only — you can go on and amuse them with the history of religions and religious or spiritual leaders.

Then — and then only — you will be able to show the seed of weakness and falsehood that they have harbored and proclaimed.

Then — and then only — you will be able to discern, from time to time, from place to place, an "intuition" that something else is possible: in the Vedas, for instance (the injunction to descend deep into the cave of the Panis); in the Tantras also ... a little light burning.

I may add that you could adopt as motto for your first project this quotation of Sri Aurobindo:

"We do not belong to the past dawns, but to the noons of the future."

(Essays on the Gita)

Message from Mother to the School:

"Sri Aurobindo does not belong to the past nor to history.

"Sri Aurobindo is the future advancing towards its realization.

"Thus we must shelter the eternal youth required for a speedy advance, in order not to become laggards on the way."

12. April 1967 – Experience of LSD

There has been for some time a deliberate will not to leave the body. In the mornings, when I emerged from my nocturnal activities, I would often notice that there was a whole work of readjustment to be done in the body, as though the concentration of forces had been disturbed and even undone in the night and everything had to be started up again. It was a sheer waste of time, a waste. Previously, in the evening when I would lay down on my bed, I would go limp, a complete relaxation (one should always do that), that is, surrender, and the consciousness would rise above. There was a concentration of forces, but it wouldn't last: after two or three hours, everything was taken up by the night's activities. But now, instead of that, there is a will to keep the whole consciousness in the body, to concentrate and to keep all the energies so that the work in the cells may go on undisturbed. And I see the effect lasts much longer; even when I wake up (or rather when I get into external activity), I can see it goes on, it doesn't cease, and it resumes as soon as I am outwardly awake. A sort of concentration of energy, of consciousness, force, light, which starts working in the cells at night. And then there's nothing, no activity, there's a contemplative silence.

I had only one instance of activity these last four days, one morning between two and four, that I spent absolutely conscious and active with Sri Aurobindo, who had made "changes" in his activities and his organization of the subtle physical; he had made changes and wanted to show them to me, to let me know about them. And he showed it all to me for two hours. But that was the only thing, and as for the rest — everything, going to see people, going here or there, doing this or that — I have stopped it all. And things are better.

So I wonder if this decision hasn't had an effect on your sleep? That's quite possible.

Soon afterwards

I've had an amusing experience these last three days.... Y. sent me a whole treatise on L.S.D. (Mother takes a file on her table).

It seems the man who discovered it did so by accident (that's always how it happens): he took a dose without knowing it and without knowing what it was, and the effects on him were extraordinary. (It was in Switzerland, a doctor, I believe, or a chemist, I don't know.) And now, for the first time after years (the discovery took place years ago), for the first time he has consented to give a description of his experiences. Naturally, Y. enthused over it, she prepared a report and sent it to me.

As you know, I am very busy. I didn't have time to read these papers, but I know too that Y. is rather impatient(!), and these last three or four days I had been saying to myself, "I must ABSOLUTELY see that, otherwise it won't do. I MUST see that ..." And it kept coming back. Then one morning (in the morning, at the time when I have all my experiences), while I was sitting, I suddenly felt something so heavy in my head, heavy in my chest, and ... odd. I had never felt that before. And all the sensations had become almost violent. So I closed my eyes, and... you know, an avalanche, a cavalcade of forms, sounds, colours, even odours, which imposed themselves with a reality and intensity — I had never known that before, never.

I watched, then I said to myself, "But that's a good way to go mad!" And I started doing what had to be done for it to stop. But it wouldn't stop! It wanted to go on. So I thought, "It's obviously here for a reason. Since it's imposing itself in this way, it means there's a reason for me to have this experience." I watched, studied, observed. And I saw it was a magnified faculty of sensation — inordinately magnified, you understand — BECAUSE the equilibrium between all the faculties of the being had been disrupted.

The natural equilibrium which makes things balance each other, harmonize and organize spontaneously into a coherent whole with a conscious existence, was shattered — shattered to the benefit of the faculty of sensation. And naturally, that faculty of sensation was terribly multiplied (or aggravated, one could say) and even imposed itself brutally. And I saw that something had upset the equilibrium. Something that had the power to upset the equilibrium of the being — to insist on one point to the detriment of all others.

Once I had seen that, a sort of tranquillity came into me and it was over.

I didn't give it any more thought. For three days I didn't think about it again. It seemed to me to be some extravagance or other. Yesterday evening, I decided I would read those papers. I asked Pavitra to read them to me. The man describes his experiences — the first description is just what happened to me!

So I had the experience he had when he took the medicine!

He describes it (I couldn't read it all), he describes it exactly as I had felt it. So (laughing) I had the experience without swallowing the medicine! Simply because the consciousness was turned to that.

But then, I understood! And those people imagine it's a way to "develop human consciousness" and open up "unknown horizons".... The effect (now I am absolutely sure of it) is the dislocation of the being's equilibrium.

To me, it's very sensitive, because the equilibrium is very conscious, very willed, very organized, and naturally that makes a considerable difference; for them (laughing) it's just like that, a fantasy. And then, they are convinced (Y. included) that humanity can make great progress with that! It makes them "conscious of a whole realm they didn't know." But... it creates one more falsehood in the consciousness, because the perception of ONE aspect of reality to the detriment of all others is a dreadful falsehood. As I said, the impression it made on me was: It's a good way to go mad.

To them it's accidental, because they take the medicine and think, "When I will stop taking the medicine, naturally it won't happen again" — but that's not true! It can give the being the habit of disorder, the habit of imbalance.

There.

It was yesterday evening that Pavitra read me the complete description of the experience I had had... without knowing what it was. I found that very amusing!

I haven't read the whole thing, only half of it, I am going to read the other half. But according to what they say there, now it's, oh, tremendously widespread!

Now, we may ask if it's necessary for mankind to fall into general imbalance in order to reach a higher equilibrium?

But it's perfectly clear that one doesn't need drugs in order to have experiences — I didn't take drugs!

That's what they think, they think it gives them a certainty that it (the other worlds) isn't imagination, or, for the more reasonable ones, that there are many more things than they can know or can imagine. But you can discover all that without swallowing drugs!

15. April 1967 – On LSD and cellular transformation

That it upsets the being's equilibrium there is absolutely no doubt. And of course, upsetting one's equilibrium may lead you to a higher equilibrium. But there is a risk.

(silence)

It's probably part of the preparations. The only thing is, the results can be fairly catastrophic.

It could be part of a scientific discipline. But then, that's how it should be done, as a discipline, and under the supervision of those who know.

You see, he takes great care not to say anything about the harmful effects. I have personally met two people who had done the experiment and had met with dreadful effects — they decided never to touch it again in their lives.

They are very careful not to say anything about that.

It should be done as an educational discipline, with all the necessary safeguards and supervision.

It's the same as all the rest: it's the method that starts from below. The true method starts from above — it's more difficult, less spectacular, and it takes more time.

From the standpoint of study and observation, it's very interesting. But it should be done scientifically, in a spirit of discipline and almost consecration, as a means of study.

Of course, just the contact with a small amount of the Force from above disturbs many people's minds; so here, I think the effect would be very general.

It's a risk to be run.

If someone — someone conscious, who already knows much, who is very much master of himself and has control over his reactions — does it as a means of study, it can be very interesting. But giving it to a poor devil who knows nothing and goes headlong into it out of curiosity can be disastrous.

(silence)

In the last part, what he calls the "cellular level" is indeed the description — ONE description — of cellular phenomena and activities on their level of consciousness, and also on the level of consciousness of the infinitesimal. He speaks of "great currents" and "cellular transformations" and all that; it's quite correct, only.... It's what is going on at present, but it's just the consciousness reduced to the dimension of the infinitesimal. And it's a reproduction of what takes place in the other dimensions. But, for example, after all this discipline of the cells that there has been for... several years now, his description strikes me as the same thing SEEN THROUGH AN ILLUSION. And the illusion is caused by that very imbalance: the illusion of an absolute reality, while it's a quite relative reality. You understand, it's the difference between seeing something with a sense of relativity, with a whole immensity of other things, and seeing it all alone as an exclusive and unique reality. It's the sense of the harmony and balance of the Whole that is gone. And so, it becomes "dreadful": as he says, some people may find it frightening. And that's precisely because that equilibrium is missing. It's the same thing in a smaller version in an individual: that vision of the whole which gives the proportion of every event, the importance of every event and every thing, changes completely when you have the sense of the Whole, and what appears frightening or catastrophic or marvellous becomes again just a part of the Whole. It's the sense of equilibrium that is gone. When I read the end, it gave me one more confirmation of my experience.

It may be necessary, in certain cases, to disrupt that equilibrium so as to come into contact with something new, but that's always dangerous. And the way of consecration and surrender to the supreme Power is infinitely superior — it's slightly more difficult. It's more difficult than swallowing a drug, but infinitely superior.

We could call it "yoga within everyone's reach"! But... it's not without danger.

And they say a considerable number of people are taking it....

(silence)

That the Force is working is without a shadow of doubt, and that this is the result of the action of the Force is also without a shadow of doubt.

There are other, very interesting examples. There's a Burmese (you may have heard of this) who has just received a "peace prize." He has written an article (he is Burmese, I don't know which language he wrote it in, but it has been published in French in a Swiss newspaper), in which he says what everybody knows, but what everybody forgets too: that if all the money wasted on preparing means of destruction were used for the progress of human well-being, we could work wonders. And he adds (I can't quote him exactly): for that to be possible, men — nations and men — must stop distrusting and fearing each other, and live in the sense of unity. And he says, if, for that, HUMAN NATURE HAS TO CHANGE, it's high time it changed and we must all work for that to happen.

I am extremely happy to hear this. Here is a man who has caught the true thing.

And it's beginning to spread. In Korea, too, there is someone who says the same thing and who is known to thousands of people. They are all asking for the change in [human] nature, a "new consciousness."

(long silence)

There is something interesting in this cellular consciousness: they have a sense of sincerity which is MUCH sharper, and what they call in English exacting, than in the vital and the mind (even the material vital and mind). There is a sort of absoluteness in the sincerity which is very remarkable, and they have a rigorousness between them which is quite wonderful. It's extremely interesting. If anything, any part, any movement, tries to cheat, they catch it like this (gesture of nipping it and wringing its neck), and in such a sharp and precise way.... In all the vital or mental movements, there is always a kind of (sinuous gesture) suppleness, something that tries to adapt — while here, oh... it's like this (inflexible gesture). So when there is invocation, prayer, self-giving, surrender, trust, all those things become so pure — so pure, so crystalline, you know, that... oh!

And precisely, there is a growing conviction that a perfection realized in Matter is a perfection that is FAR MORE perfect than anywhere else. That's what gives it a stability it has nowhere else.... If there is something somewhere (when there is a great offering and then a joyous self-giving, joyous surrender), if there is something that comes in with even the slightest self-interest — for instance, a suffering in some little corner (a pain or disorder), which hopes for or wishes or expects some improvement — then it gets caught like this (same gesture of nipping and wringing its neck) and it's told, "Oh, insincere one! Give yourself unconditionally." Then it's magnificent.

It's very interesting.

And this joy, this enthusiasm at the possibility: that being wholly sincere is POSSIBLE; almost, I could say, that it is permitted (these are words): "Life is such a disorder and muddle of insincerity that THAT is really what is expected of us, THAT; THAT is what's permitted, THAT is what must be realized: to be absolute in the joy of self-giving." It's a marvel, a marvel!

Also, the contact with all those beings of the Overmind, all those gods, all those Entities, all those divinities.... There is here, in the cells, a sort of... (what can I call it?) rectitude, and, yes, sincerity and honesty that says, "Oh, what fuss they make! How all this is (Mother puffs up her cheeks) puff! puff! swollen up." It's very interesting, really very interesting. The vision of the world is quite different. It's far more honest — far more honest, far more sincere, far more upright. It's strange.

The consciousness expressed in transformed cells is a marvel. It justifies all those ages of misery. To reach that was really worth the trouble. Really worth it.

Especially all pretence, all exaggeration, all vanity, oh, it's all looked at as through the ingenuous eyes of a very pure child (it's much better than that! The comparison is invidious).

(silence)

Then there is a sort of internal code of regulations. When there is a pain somewhere, something that goes awry, you should see the others' attitude!... A seriousness that first says (I have to translate, and it loses all its charm), but first it begins with, "Don't you make such a fuss and to-do" (or "don't you all," it depends). Then, a pressure to surrender. And that action to make the Light circulate everywhere.... I am interpreting; with interpretation, the mind always mixes in, unfortunately. The thing itself isn't thought — it isn't thought, it doesn't watch itself be, it's very spontaneous. Very spontaneous and thus very sincere. It's pretty.

It's like an immense society, you understand.

And during the work there are... (what should I call them?) conglomerations, or very small groups of cells that have retained imprints, imprints made on them. Or sometimes here (gesture to the brain), but there it's full of a great light like that, compact; all the same there are corners — many dark nooks and crannies — and then unfolds all of a sudden, the memory of the circumstances, events, sensations, perceptions that built that (the imprint), all seen in the new Light, and to be eliminated. And then... yes, as they say, you "trip," you travel in an immense world, indeed; and it's not things from the past, it's... an immense Present in which you travel.

Only, you travel consciously and voluntarily, instead of through the effect of a drug. That's superior.

This morning again, the lesson was repeated with, for instance, bits of old things still clinging, reactions, small movements (inner movements): "Only one solution, one single solution: self-annulment, perfect self-giving, the surrender of everything."

Then there's the joy of Light — the beauty, the joy... a splendour!

(silence)

It's the only remedy.

Naturally, everything is good, everything is possible (L.S.D.), but... it seems to be a very circuitous route to arrive at the same place.

22. April 1967 – Harmonious equilibrium in life

That there is a very great Pressure, a sort of intensity of pressure, is indisputable — everywhere, everywhere. And naturally, the reaction of Ignorance.

Basically, Nature had arranged things, and as she had no limitation of time, they were arranged so as to last millennia and millennia and millennia — she went along at a leisurely pace, having fun on the way; she invented everything that could be invented and had fun. But things didn't move along very fast. And she has arranged things in such a way that if there is a pressure to move faster, oh, it causes catastrophes.

On the immense mass, the mass still plunged in Ignorance, it creates a sort of excitement that tends to become unhealthy. Those who are settled in a certain equilibrium protest; I have often heard them say, "But we aren't in a hurry, things are all right as they are! Why do you want to change them so fast, that will happen in its own time!" That's the attitude of those who have found a sufficiently harmonious equilibrium in life: "Oh, you are in too much of a hurry, why do you want to upset everything? Let things just carry on on their own. It will happen in its own time" — like that. All those who are somewhat " sattvic," level-headed, have that kind of equilibrium. Then, among those who aspire, a small number are sincere, serious, level-headed, ready for anything: ready to go slowly, to go fast, to do much, to do little — but they are steady and quiet. And finally, there is a band of people who like imbalance and, for them, it's an opportunity for all kinds of crazy things. But the Pressure of the Force is clearly making itself felt everywhere.

Sri Aurobindo always said that the most important, but also the most difficult thing, is to know how to keep one's BALANCE IN INTENSITY. To have the intensity of aspiration, the intensity of effort, the intensity of the march forward, while at the same time keeping one's balance — the balance of perfect peace. That's the ideal condition. But it's difficult.

(silence)

And for the body's cells, the transition from the tranquillity of "tamasic" origin (the calm that was the result in olden days of Inertia, and what still remains of that tendency to inertia), for this calm to cease being inert and, on the contrary, to belong to the calm of All-Powerfulness, there is a difficult transition. For the cells it's difficult.

These last few days, oh!... It's this transition that's being worked out in the details, and it's not easy.

It's like that habit of the cells of drawing the force from below (through food and so on): when you try to transform that into a constant habit of drawing the force from above, every instant, in every small detail, there's a difficult moment.... ("From above" is a manner of speaking, because if you think about it, it may also be from the depths: there's no sense of direction, no high or low or anything of the sort.) But it's no longer leaning on the surface for support — for standing, walking, sitting, for making movements....

There is also the pressure of external agitation (the world lives in perpetual agitation), the external agitation: everything and everyone is rushing towards... one really doesn't know why. They want to do ten times more things in a given space of time than is normally possible, so it goes like this (gesture of trepidation). And to have the strength to remain calm and well-balanced in the middle of it, in that whirl...

It's very interesting, really.

What people generally call "force" (in the English sense of the word strength) is something very heavy and tamasic. True force is a tremendously rapid movement, but... in perfect calm. There is no agitation; the movement is fantastically faster, but without agitation, in such calm!... They generally don't even feel that Force, yet it is the one that makes — that will make — the transformation possible.

The difficulty is always the transition. You see, the body acts (it is carried, so to speak: things are done without the sense of resistance or fatigue, nothing of the sort, that doesn't exist), and then, if for some reason or other (generally an influence or a thought coming from someone else), if the memory of the other method (the ordinary method, the universal method of all human beings) comes all of a sudden, it is as if... (it's very strange) it is as if the body could no longer DO ANYTHING, absolutely as if it were about to faint. Then, there immediately comes the reaction, and the other movement gets the upper hand again. But that makes for a difficult time. When these lapses will become impossible, there will be security. But as it is now, it's difficult.

Only, now (formerly there was a moment when it was dangerous), now there is immediately in the cells that movement of adoration, which calls, "You, You, You..." Then it's all right.

27. April 1967 – The Vibration of Harmony

I told you about that experience (which has been growing increasingly concrete and constant) of the Vibration of Harmony (a higher harmony expressing the essential Consciousness in its aspect of love and harmony and, as it draws nearer to the manifestation, of order and organization), and of the nearly constant and general vibration of disorder, disharmony, conflict — in reality, Matter's resistance to this Action. The two vibrations are like this (Mother slips the fingers of her right hand between those of the left), as if they interpenetrated each other and a simple movement of consciousness sent you to one side or the other, or rather, the aspiration, the will for realization, put you into contact with the Vibration of Harmony, and the SLIGHTEST slackening made you lapse into the other. It has become constant. And then, on the 24th, right from morning there was a constant aspiration, a constant will for the triumph of the Vibration of Harmony. Then I sat down at my table as I always do, about five or ten minutes before it began. And instantly, with a puissance — a puissance capable of crushing an elephant — this Vibration of Harmony came down like that, massive ... to the point that the body lost the sense of its existence altogether: it became That, it was conscious of nothing but That. And the first quarter of an hour literally flashed by in a second. Then, there were three people in the room; one of the three, or maybe all three, felt a malaise (nothing surprising!), and that woke me up: I saw the light (I burn a candle on my table) and I saw the time, but it wasn't me — something saw. Then there was a sort of pacifying action on the place, and then — gone again. And one second later, the call of the end!

It's the first time that has happened to my body. It always used to remain conscious. Sri Aurobindo, too, told me the same thing, that he never, ever, had samadhi in his body. Neither did I: I always, always, always used to remain conscious. While that... only the Force remained, there was nothing left but the Force at work: there was a concentration here, a concentration on the whole country, and a concentration on the whole earth. And all that was conscious, like that (vast gesture above the head), at work. But something massive, as powerful as an elephant — enough to crush you.

I didn't say anything to anyone; I wanted to know (because when I speak, people try to find something, while I wanted to know the spontaneous reaction). The first thing I received was a letter from G. saying that he was at the Samadhi, and just before it began, a force came down on him so strongly that he fell (he was sitting, he fell forward). So he asked me what it was. I haven't replied yet. Then there have been other people, other things.

To me, that was unique, because it's the first time it has happened to me. But it has had a result: all that still clings, within, to that old habit of disorder and disharmony — which is the cause of, oh, everything, all mischief, all illnesses, everything — that has been... Yesterday afternoon, I saw there was something that needed to be eliminated, and it changed into a head cold. It's nothing.

It's nothing, and it has given me an opportunity to see that all the cells everywhere, even those that according to the old habit should be in discomfort because of the cold, are all in a blissful aspiration of transformation. And they truly and spontaneously feel that what's happening to them is for it all to move a little faster. So they are very happy.

But things should move still faster; that is, all these things such as colds and so on, should pass off very quickly — come in and go out.

There are still many bad habits — that will pass.

And there was the consciousness — the Total Consciousness, in a light... a light without any equivalent here, yet it was quite material. If you like, it was like molten gold — molten and luminous. It was very thick. And it had a power — a weight, you know, like that, it was astonishing. And then, no more body, nothing anymore — nothing anymore, nothing but That. And the vision of That, like this (gesture widening out above the head), in its immediate action, its action on the country, and its action on the whole earth. An action that doesn't cause any movement, I don't know how to explain it. A sort of pressure — a pressure in which nothing is displaced.

The pressure went away after the meditation, but the effect has remained, and when, out of the old habit, I got up afterwards to take something on the table over there, I nearly fell! The body no longer knew how to walk! I had to concentrate, then it came back.

Something still remained (but not as strong as that), something remained when I went to the balcony (in the afternoon of the 24th). At the balcony I was different from what I usually am. I don't exactly know what it was. But then, the photographs are very different; there is something in the photographs that isn't there usually. There was a special atmosphere.

(silence)

I remembered something Sri Aurobindo told me sometime during the last months; he told me, "When the supramental Force" (which he was constantly calling down, of course), "when the supramental Force is there and for as long as it is present, you get a sense of all-powerfulness — an unconditioned all-powerfulness: an ALL-powerfulness." But he said, "It goes in the background" when the pressure of the Force goes.

29. April 1967 – The true vibration

Last time I told you about those two vibrations.... There is a constant effort to bring everything under the true Vibration. And the subtlety of the work is very interesting. The whole night is spent like that, too.

I feel something is really being prepared: there is a very strong pressure — but what? I don't know. People ask me, "What's going to happen on 4.5.67?" (In a letter of February 2, 1934, Sri Aurobindo declared: "4.5.67 is the year of the complete realisation." It seems he also said that from 1967, governments would obey the supramental influence. The sequence of figures (4.5.67) is what appears to have a special occult significance.) I tell them, "Wait and see."

There is a very active influence from Sri Aurobindo, and then this constant work (of the two vibrations): even during the visits, when people come whom I don't know, it goes on. It's like a sort of decanting.