January 1966 |
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08. January 1966 – Sri Aurobindo: Fulfilling the Divine Will |
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“The only creation for which there is any place here is the supramental, the bringing of the divine Truth down on the earth, not only into the mind and vital but into the body and into Matter. Our object is not to remove all 'limitations' on the expansion of the ego or to give a free field and make unlimited room for the fulfillment of the ideas of the human mind or the desires of the ego-centred life-force. None of us are here to 'do as we like', or to create a world in which we shall at last be able to do as we like; we are here to do what the Divine wills and to create a world in which the Divine Will can manifest its truth no longer deformed by human ignorance or perverted and mistranslated by vital desire. The work which the sadhak of the supramental yoga has to do is not his own work for which he can lay down his own conditions, but the work of the Divine which he has to do according to the conditions laid down by the Divine. Our yoga is not for our own sake but for the sake of the Divine. It is not our personal manifestation that we are to seek, the manifestation of the individual ego freed from all bounds and from all bonds, but the manifestation of the Divine. Of that manifestation our own spiritual liberation, perfection, fullness is to be a result and a part, but not in any egoistic sense or for any ego-centred or self-seeking purpose. This liberation, perfection, fullness too must not be pursued for our own sake, but for the sake of the Divine.” Sri Aurobindo I find this admirable! And it should be repeated over and over and over again — to oneself and to others, every minute. It's the perfect answer to the present condition. That's the point, isn't it: it touches on the very crux of the difficulty (Mother pinches something tiny and very hard between her fingers). Despite everything, even though you may give everything, surrender everything, there is something (same gesture), and that something always remains there, behind. Yesterday evening I was so glad to read this. I said, "There! This is what we need." We must publish it and repeat it to each and every one. |
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19. January 1966 – Sri Aurobindo’s light |
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...Near my pen, there is a small disk of Sri Aurobindo's light, which sparkles and sparkles.... I see it more than my handwriting. It's no bigger than this (two inches) and it shines, it shines brightly — blue light, of the silvery blue that was Sri Aurobindo's blue. It shines and shines, and it moves along with my fingers. And when I speak, when I say things that "come," there are two disks (I don't know why). Not one, but two, and they are bigger (about four inches), one above the other. When I tell of an experience, for instance, or answer a question, there are two of them, slightly bigger. And when I concentrate on someone while calling the Lord, then, generally, near the shoulder (gesture between the person's head and shoulder), there is a great golden light, like that, which sparkles and sparkles, shines and shines, very brightly, all the while. And when the light goes, the concentration goes. But just now, it was amusing, it was quite small like this, moving along with my pen. Now it's finished, gone! (Mother laughs) |
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22. January 1966 – You choose to be that way! – Savitri B10C4 |
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This morning I lived for two hours in a sort of blissful state in which there was, oh, such a clear awareness that all forms of life, in all the worlds and at all times, are the expression of a choice: you choose to be that way. It's very hard to put it into words.... The sort of compulsion in which we think we have to live and to which we think we are subjected had completely vanished, and there was a perfectly spontaneous and natural perception that life on earth, life in the other worlds, and all the types of life on earth, and all the types of life in the other worlds, are simply a question of choice: you chose to be that way, and you constantly choose to be this way or that, or choose that this or that is going to happen; and you also choose to think you are subjected to a Fate or a Necessity or a Law that compels you — everything is a question of choice. And there was a sense of lightness, of freedom (same dancing gesture), and then one of those smiles at everything. And at the same time, it gives you a tremendous power. All sense of compulsion, of necessity (and even more of fate) had completely vanished. All the illnesses, all the events, all the dramas, all of it — vanished. And this concrete and so stark a reality of physical life — completely gone. The interesting point is that the experience arose from my encounter with Purani last night. I met Purani in a certain world and he was in a certain state, like the one I have just described, but then the difference between Purani as he was here and Purani as he is now... suddenly, it was like a key. I spoke to him, he spoke to me, saying, "Oh, now I am so happy, so happy B.G." And it was in that state that I lived this morning for more than an hour and a half. Afterwards, I am obliged to come back At the same time, I saw the whole picture of human knowledge (because when those states are present, all human realizations, all human knowledge come like a panorama in front of the new state and are put back in their proper place — when an experience comes, it's always, always as though retrospective), and I saw all the theories, all the beliefs, all the philosophical ideas, how they were connected to the new state.... Oh, it was such fun! And it doesn't require rest; these experiences are so concrete and spontaneous and real (they aren't the result of a will, still less of an effort) that they don't require rest: I was busy washing. I took my whole breakfast in that state, it was charming. It was only when those people came (and I even did the "egg distribution" — I don't know if you are aware of it, but I am the one who puts your egg in your box every day — I did my egg distribution in that state, I gave the flowers in that state), it was only afterwards, when letters came that I had to listen to and answer and all manner of things (gesture of a truckload being dumped) — then it fades away, it gets erased. It still leaves me in a half-dream, but the experience is gone: it's no longer that. But those who got hold of this experience for some reason or other without having all the philosophical and mental preparation I had (the "saints," or at any rate all the people who led a spiritual life) had instead a very acute impression of the unreality of life and the illusion of life. But that's only a narrow way of looking at it. That's not it — that's not it, EVERYTHING is a choice! Everything, everything. The Lord's choice, but IN US; not there (gesture above): here. And we are unaware of it, it's deep down in ourselves. But when we are aware of it, we can choose — we can choose our choice, that's wonderful! For instance, when that state was there, I told my body, "But see, you clumsy fool, why do you choose to be dramatic? To have pain, to be this and that?..." And that sort of fate and bond and hardness of existence — all that had vanished. All vanished. It was light blue, light pink, all luminous and clear and... (same dancing gesture)... buoyant. I very well imagine that it's not something absolute; it was only ONE way of being, but a charming way of being!... Usually, when those who don't have a sufficient intellectual preparation have an experience like this one, they think they have caught the "only" truth. And then, from it, they dogmatize. But I clearly saw it wasn't that: it's ONE way of being, but a wonderful way of being, of course! Infinitely superior to the one we have here. And we CAN have it here: I had it. I had it quite concretely. And there is always something going wrong (a pain here or a pain there, or this or that, and then circumstances going wrong too, always difficulties)... the color of it all changes. And it becomes buoyant, you know, light — light, supple. All the hardness and rigidity — gone. And the feeling that if you choose to be that way, you can go on being that way. And it's true. It's all the bad habits — habits that have been on earth for thousands of years, obviously — it's all the bad habits that stop you; but there is no reason why it couldn't be a permanent state. Because it changes everything! Everything changes!... You know, I was brushing my teeth, washing my eyes, doing the most material things: their nature changed! And there was a vibration, a conscious vibration in the eye that was being washed, in the toothbrush, in... All that, all of it was different. And it is clear that if you become the master of that state, you can change all circumstances around you. Recently (for some time), there was that same difficulty of the body, which isn't limited and shut inside a shell as is generally the case, and which freely receives... not even with the feeling of "receiving" — which HAS the vibrations of everything around it; and then, when everything around it is, mentally or morally, closed, unwilling to understand, it's a bit difficult, which means that the elements that come have to be transformed. It's a sort of totality — a very manifold and unsteady totality — representing your field of consciousness and action and on which you must work constantly to reestablish a harmony (a minimum of harmony), and when something around you "goes wrong" according to the ordinary idea, it makes the work a bit difficult. It's subtle, persistent, and obstinate at the same time. I remember, last night when I stretched out on my bed, there was in the body an aspiration for Harmony, for Light, for a sort of smiling peace; the body aspired above all for harmony because of all those things that grate and scrape. And the experience was probably the result of that aspiration: I went there and met a pink and light-blue Purani (!) — what a blue! The pretty, very pretty light blue of Sri Aurobindo. Only, I have noticed that in this body's life, I've never had the same experience twice — I may have the same type of experience to a higher degree or to a much vaster degree, but never identically the same. And I don't retain the experience: I am constantly, constantly (gesture forward), constantly forging ahead; you know, the work of transformation of the consciousness is so rapid, it must be done so fast that you don't have time to enjoy or dwell upon an experience or draw long-lasting satisfaction from it, it's impossible. It comes powerfully, very powerfully, it changes everything, then something else comes. It's the same thing with the transformation of the cells: all kinds of little disorders come, but to the consciousness they are clearly disorders related to the transformation, so you see to that particular point, you want order to be restored; at the same time, something knows full well that the disorder came to make the transition from the ordinary automatic functioning to the conscious functioning under the direct Direction and the direct Influence of the Supreme. And the body itself knows this (still, it's no fun to have a pain here or a pain there, or this or that being disorganized, but it KNOWS). And when that point has reached a certain stage of transformation, you move on to another point, then on to another, and on to another again. So nothing is done, no work is definitively done until... everything is ready. So you have to do the same work again, but on a higher or a vaster level, or with more intensity or in greater detail (it depends on the case), until EVERYTHING has been brought to a homogeneous point and is ready in the same way. According to what I see, it's going as fast as it can go. But it takes a great deal of time. And everything is a question of changing the habit. The whole automatic habit of millennia must be changed into a conscious action, directly guided by the supreme Consciousness. The tendency is to say that it takes much more time and is more difficult because you are surrounded with people and you act in the world, but if you weren't in those conditions, a lot of things would be overlooked, a lot. A lot of things would remain undone. There are all kinds of vibrations that aren't in affinity with this aggregate [Mother's cellular aggregate] and that would never have had an opportunity to touch the transforming Force if I weren't in contact with all the people. It is perfectly obvious — perfectly obvious — that one is put in the best conditions and with the maximum of possibilities for action... when one wants it sincerely. Then Mother takes up the translation of "Savitri": Each in its hour eternal claimed went by Ideals, systems, sciences, poems, crafts Tireless there perished and again recurred, Sought restlessly by some creative Power. But all were dreams crossing an empty vast. (X.IV.642) All this is the same thing! It's amusing. He certainly had similar experiences [to Mother's] when he wrote those lines. |
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26. January 1966 – The childishness in which we live; Savitri B10C4 |
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(Ironically) It's a pity we can't make pictures of those things, because Purani had lots of admirers and disciples, plenty in America, and so if I could send them a picture of Purani as I saw him, blue and pink (laughing), that would be charming! (long silence) There is at the moment a systematic demolition of all preconceived ideas, prejudices, habits, all the viewpoints — the social, moral, hygienic, health viewpoints — "it" takes hold of everything, one thing after the other, and it demolishes it with such irony! Last night it was about "hygienic" measures concerning food, and there was such a comical demonstration of how ignorant the precautions we take are and of all sorts of prejudices we have... with scenes and pictures that would make priceless comedies on the stage, oh!... It was about shrimps to be eaten (!) and it called to my mind how people are in Europe; they aren't at all like here, hounded by the thought of the possible contamination of the food they eat: in Europe, if you see a fruit, you take it and eat it. Shrimps, I remember having bought some on display in a big grocery, but it was on the pavement, outside, anyway — you never gave it a thought. And nothing happens to you!... It was very early this morning, and so comical! Like the funniest farce — whoever wrote those farces? (Mother vainly tries to recall the name) I don't remember now.... You know, names come on a tangent, and then all the similar sounds come on the other side. I tried to recall the name, something came by on a tangent, and on the other side, there came like a joke, "cartilage"! (Mother laughs) Whatever is the name of that "modern" who wrote farces, but wrote them very well? Courteline. (Mother laughs) Cartilage! It was about those big shrimps that are called "jumbo prawns" here: they are as big as crayfish. Someone (a disciple here), who died rather a long time ago, came and brought me prawns; that is to say, I met him in the rooms downstairs... There are rooms that are reproduced somewhere, in a sort of subconscient, in fact the subconscient that has to be transformed, organized and so on, and there exists a sort of reproduction of the rooms downstairs [below Mother's room], but not exactly the same (yet with the same layout), and a certain category of activities takes place there. That's where we were together once, I told you: you were trying to clarify people's ideas (!) It's the same place. It's not physical here, it's in the subconscient. So then, there was that tall fellow who watched over the Samadhi for a long time, Haradhan; he was there. And when he saw me arrive, he told me, "I have brought something for you." And in a sort of dark-blue cloth, he had wrapped two big prawns, which he gave me! There were already cooked, ready to be eaten. The cloth wasn't very much to my liking! So I thought, "How can I make them a little cleaner before eating them?" (Laughing) You know, it's a farce — a farce to make you understand... your stupidity. I began by removing the... (what is it called?), it's not "skin"... Oh, here too the word hasn't come, but on a tangent came "cuirass"! (Laughing) Cuirass and cartilage!... Anyway... I removed that, and as soon as I had removed it, I said to myself, "You fool! Now it's even more exposed than before!" I looked for a way, and I ran to a corner (in the place of Pavitra's laboratory), found a water tap and put my prawn under the tap. Immediately someone told me (not "someone," the inner voice told me [laughing]), "Your water is even dirtier than the cloth!" So the consciousness came along with the light, and I was shown with such a clear vision the relativity of the measures we take, which are all preconceived ideas, based on no true knowledge. And finally he told me, "Come on, eat, that's the best you can do!" So I ate my prawn, and it was very good! You know, we could write a farce. And scenes of such buffoonery!... There are lots of them. And each with an intention... (laughing) an "educational" intention, to show the childishness in which we live. Then Mother takes up her translation of "Savitri": Ascetic voices called of lonely seers On mountain summits or on river banks Or from the desolate heart of forest glades Seeking heaven's rest or the spirit's worldless peace, Or in bodies motionless like statues, fixed In tranced cessations of their sleepless thought Sat sleeping souls, and this too was a dream. (X.IV.642) (Laughing) He's terrible! He has a knack for demolishing everything. But it's wonderfully true. It immediately puts you in the atmosphere of the relativity of all those human conceptions. The trouble is that the outer being finds it hard to forget its habit of regarding material things as true, real, concrete: "This is concrete, you touch it, see it, feel it...." It's beginning to come. I tell you, every night it's like that, something is demolished through the comical or the ridiculous. It's very interesting. Oh, when it comes to morality, there are some marvelous things, marvelous! But... (Mother puts a finger on her lips) that's for later. |
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31. January 1966 – Nothing in the World is useless |
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Nothing in the world is useless, but things must be in their place. When one lingers on in a consciousness that must be exceeded, it becomes a failing — one just has not to linger! One just has to reject it and use it as a springboard to jump higher, that's all. That's how I see it. That's how I see all the incapacities, all the failings, all the failures, I see them like that: "All right, it's a springboard — hop! let's jump, now let's go beyond that." When one does the work I am doing and is in contact with all the petty reactions of the physical body, of the most material consciousness... it would be absolutely disheartening and sickening to anyone having an ideal. But that... that's how it is, so that's how it is: it must change — we are here so that it will become different. And as long as we aren't conscious of it, it will never change. Therefore one must rejoice when one is conscious, that's all. All discoveries are always graces — wonderful graces. When you discover that you can't do anything, when you discover that you are a fool, when you discover that you have no capacity, when you discover that you are so petty and mean and stupid, well... "Oh, Lord, I thank You so much, how good You are to show me all this!" And then, it's over. Because the minute you discover it, you say, "Now this is up to You. You will do what has to be done for all this to change." And the best part of it is that it does change! It does change. When you do like this (gesture of offering to the Heights), sincerely: "Oh, take it, take it, take it, rid me of it, let me be... only You"... It's wonderful. |
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