1. January 1971 – Mother’s New Year Message

Blessed are those who take a leap towards the Future

The Mother

3. January 1971 – Life is only the Union with the Divine

Well, I always say the same thing: a life consecrated to union with the Divine is the only life worth living….

A life consecrated to the Divine is the only life worth living.

11. January 1971 – Physical Vision

Physical vision requires a much more continuous concentration. The physical vision serves to stabilize. It gives continuity to things. The same with hearing. So when neither of them are there, you become conscious of the thing directly, which gives you the true knowledge of it. That is probably how the Supermind will work.

My physical vision and hearing have been pushed into the background to be replaced by identity through consciousness—for the growth of consciousness.

The way of relating to things, of knowing, is through an identification of the consciousness with the thing or person. Instead of having the usual sense of separateness, you have a constant sense of union. There are quite interesting experiences. People call me and think about me. That comes into my field of consciousness. And after some time I am told, “So and so has come,” or “Something has happened to so and so,” and I say, “I know.” I wasn’t told anything at the time it happened, but I was conscious of it as if it were happening to a part of me.

16. January 1971 – Mother’s Leg

What was remarkable (I want to tell you this right away) is that the consciousness established there (gesture above her head) has grown stronger and stronger and clearer and clearer. And it’s CONSTANT. I worked—I went on working—not only for India but for the world, and in touch (“consulted,” you understand), actively.

As for the transformation, I don’t know…. What I had explained about the “replacement of the consciousness” (the transfer) went on methodically, methodically, absolutely methodically and continuously, but with… some apparent impairment, or at least the capacities of my body were greatly diminished for a certain time. But there is a curious phenomenon concerning sight and hearing: from time to time they’re clear, as clear as can be, and at other times they’re completely blurred. And it has very, very clearly another origin—another origin of influence. But I think it will take months before I can understand it. In any case, the general consciousness (gesture above her head), what could be called the universal consciousness (or at least terrestrial), hasn’t budged for one minute—not one single minute. It has stayed there all the time. Only, you’re a complete imbecile; you know how it is when you can’t do anything: you’re helpless, you can’t even go from your chair to the bed, you can’t do anything—one leg isn’t there. Even now I can’t walk unaided, I need someone to hold me up.

It is coming back little by little. There was a time when it was total: it was cold as ice. There was no circulation. Something had blocked the circulation. Now it’s better, it’s coming back to life.

But it was not an innocent paralysis! For at least three weeks—at least—for three weeks there was a continuous pain, night and day, 24 hours out of 24, without any letup, none whatsoever: it was as if everything were being torn out of me…. You know, I don’t usually complain, but I was almost forced to cry out loud all the time. So, of course, there was no question of seeing anyone. Now it’s over. The pain is quite bearable and the body has resumed a somewhat normal existence.

Not only was it the leg, but the lower part of the leg (Mother points to her feet). This one (Mother touches her right leg) was on the verge of being paralyzed also, but the day it happened, I concentrated with a vengeance, I walked for a long, long time to keep it from being paralyzed. I managed to keep it from being paralyzed; only this one (left one) was stricken.

16. January 1971 – Consciousness of the Physical Being

Basically, all that time was used to develop the consciousness of the physical being. It really seems as if this physical being (Mother touches her body) had been prepared for another consciousness, because for certain things… its reactions are entirely different, its attitude is different. I went through a period of total indifference in which the world represented… meant nothing. And then little by little a kind of new perception grew out of it.

But the whole body has changed drastically. For example, with respect to food, I have absolutely no appetite—none whatsoever. For a time, I even felt disgusted, a kind of disgust for food—it was very difficult because they wanted to force me to eat just the same. To me eating seemed like something… miserable, you know, without any meaning, exactly as if I had never eaten in my life. Out of sheer effort I managed to go on taking what is considered indispensable (laughing) to keep the body alive!

It nearly became serious when an ulcer erupted in the intestines. An ulcer erupted, and then naturally there was no question of eating…. But I have noticed how those things, the so-called catastrophes or calamities or mishaps or difficulties or… how they all come JUST at the right moment to help you—JUST when it’s needed to help you…. You see, everything in the physical nature that still belonged to the old world and its habit and ways of doing and being and acting, all that couldn’t be (handled is the word), it couldn’t be handled in any other way than this: by illness.

The doctors were quite concerned about the intestinal ulcer. If it had perforated, it would have been very, very serious—the ordinary recourse is an operation, so…. The doctors were quite concerned. But they didn’t show anything, I didn’t know about it—I found out about the ulcer only when it was healed (I mean when it was in the process of healing).

I hear what’s necessary for me to hear, even if it’s a very faint sound, but all the sounds of conversation, all the things that make a lot of noise, I don’t hear at all!… Something is changed. Only it’s old—it’s old, I mean, it has an old habit pattern. Although fortunately I was never a creature of habit…. Yes (smiling), you could say: it’s as if something quite tough was in the process of changing! So it lacks suppleness, ease. But the change is there—the change is definite. I have changed VERY MUCH, even in character, in comprehension, in the vision of things—very, very much. There’s been a whole rearrangement.

For an entire period I was absolutely inaccessible because I was in constant pain, so I was just useless—it was absolutely continuous. You could say I was just a cry all the time. It lasted a long time. It lasted several weeks (I didn’t keep track). Then, gradually, it alternated with moments of peace when the pain in the leg subsided. And for the last two or three days, it seems to be recovering…. You know, it was such a… it was the whole problem of the world—a world that was nothing but pain and suffering, and a great question mark: why?

I tried every possible remedy: changing pain into pleasure, suppressing the capacity to feel, thinking about something else…. I tried all the “tricks”—not a single one worked. There is something in the physical world as it is which is not… (how can I put it?) which still is not open to the Divine Vibration. And that “something” is what causes absolutely all the trouble…. The Divine Consciousness is not perceived. And so there are lots of imaginary things (but very real to the sensation) that exist, while that, the only thing that’s true, is not perceived. But it’s better now. It’s better.

It’s really interesting. I think something has been achieved from a general standpoint (Mother makes a grinding gesture); it wasn’t just the difficulty of one body or one person: I think something was achieved in terms of preparing Matter to receive in the right way, correctly—it’s as if it had been received incorrectly before, and it has learned to receive in the true way.

27. January 1971 – America’s aspiration

I personally have the feeling there is a close and invisible connection between America‘s aspiration, as it is now, and the book. I have the feeling that’s where the center of transformation will be. The European countries are old.

Old, that’s right.

They’ve lost the enthusiasm that makes you act without thinking about consequences. They’re constantly weighing the consequences of everything they do. In America there’s an aspiration. That’s where the push will be, that’s where (pointing to the manuscript)… the bomb must go off! (laughter)

10. February 1971 – Mother’s Body Conditions

It’s not coming very fast…. It’s all right, the leg is almost better—almost, there’s still a tiny little something in the foot, but it’s nothing at all. But the eyesight is not too clear. It’s better—everything is improving, but very, very slowly. And willpower seems to have nothing to do with it. It’s something entirely beyond my control—what is it exactly? I don’t know.

The personal will is there, but it’s kept like this (motionless gesture in the background). It’s at peace. Well….

Suddenly I am able to straighten up (you know, I was afraid I would be bent over forever), suddenly I can straighten up. Then at another time I look at those cards to exercise my eyes;1 and suddenly, one morning, it’s very clear, I can see very clearly—as if to prove that the possibility is there. But the time has not come yet. So I am waiting.

21. February 1971 – Matrimandir

“Let the Matrimandir be the living symbol of Auroville’s aspiration for the Divine.”

24. February 1971 – Mother’s Body

The body has once and for all taken the attitude of not thinking of itself because… it would be deeply disgusted.

But I must say there are days when I hear very well, days when I see very clearly, days when I hear nothing, days when I see nothing. So… it’s like this (gesture of fluctuation).

It’s decentralized (I don’t know how to say it), completely decentralized. So, if I look—if I LOOKED—with the old consciousness, it would be rather… rather unpleasant, you can say, but the old consciousness: gone. It’s something… something that isn’t an individual consciousness, but it is not just a collective consciousness either: there’s “something” up there—THAT, up there—which sees, knows, decides…. That, up there, is quite all right, it hasn’t moved—it hasn’t moved. But this…. (Mother points to her body)

27. February 1971 – Mother’s Difficulties

The problem is food. The doctors have put restrictions on everything I eat most easily, so it’s….

Basically, I realize more and more that we live in total ignorance. We really don’t know either what should be done or how to do it.

If there were a strong and clear indication, I would certainly listen to it, but that’s not the case…. For instance, the cook is used to doing things a certain way and does them that way; the doctor says to give me such and such a thing and they listen to him…. But when I say, “I would like to have such and such a thing,” they give it to me grudgingly, you know, almost as if it were a concession to gluttony! So….

I live in such conventionality that it’s very difficult.

And always the idea that I am o-l-d, I am getting o-l-d, and so for them my consciousness must be half dead. They don’t have faith, what can you do!

Only don’t go repeating this. There’s no need to say anything because they all do… each one does the best he can and really tries hard—they really try hard.

But I would need someone with vision who could tell me: Now you do this.

So I have taken the attitude of saying: let it be. I make myself as passive as possible—passive to the Divine Will—and I pray for it to guide me. That’s the only way.

1. March 1971

There is a Supreme Divinity, witness of all our actions,

and the day for consequences will soon come.

3. March 1971 – Seeing the Receptivity

I think I see… the most exact thing to say is their condition, the state they’re in. And then, of course, there are those who are closed, so to say, who, for me, don’t see, who are totally in the outer consciousness; and there are those who are open—there are some… certain children are remarkable, it’s as if they were wide open (gesture like a flower to the sun) and ready to absorb. It’s especially people’s receptivity that I see, the condition they’re in: those who come with aspiration, those who come with curiosity, those who come out of… a kind of obligation, and then those who are thirsty for light—there aren’t too many, but there are several children. Today I saw one, he was so sweet!… His father lives at the lake, he bought some property at the lake; he lives there with his wife and children, and it was the birthday of one of the children—oh! (Mother opens her eyes wide) wonderful!

And I see only that. Not what they think or say (all that seems superficial and uninteresting): only the state of receptivity they are in. That’s what I see above all.

I really think that those who can begin the new race are among children. Men are… crusted over.

You know, I am forever struggling with people who’ve come here to be comfortable and “free to do what they like,” so… I tell them, “The world is big, you can go.” No soul, no aspiration, nothing….

3. March 1971 – The Flame of Aspiration

You know my impression? They’re all old and I am the only one who is young! That’s it, you know, that flame, that will… what is called push—they are satisfied with stupid little personal satisfactions… which lead nowhere, preoccupied with what they’re going to eat and… oh!

I have the impression that there is a sort of display now, a display of everything that should not be.

But the flame, the flame of aspiration (Mother shakes her head), not many bring it to me.

Provided they are what they call “comfortable,” that’s all they want—and free to do some nonsense they wouldn’t do in the world! While you feel you could hasten the coming—you COULD hasten it if you were… if you were a conqueror!

No, but those who are different are very few in number—at least among those I see, I don’t know. Naturally there are those who are close—those who are close, who live only for that; of course, I am not speaking of them. They’re all right, I think…. From time to time I receive a real call for help, really an aspiration—that, yes, when that’s there, it’s very good, it’s of very good quality. Otherwise….

I could scold myself, because I set a bad example: I shouldn’t have such a worn-out body, but it’s as if…. At night, for instance, I don’t sleep, but I go into a very deep repose; and then everything that isn’t well (Mother touches her swollen cheek) worsens. It’s only when I concentrate here that it starts to get better; when I leave the body to its own peace… it still isn’t on the right side—it shouldn’t be like that. I know that the greatest difficulty for people is my age—they all think: “Oh, she’s old, she’s old, she’s old….” And so I…. As a fact I am younger than they! (laughter)

3. March 1971 – Mother’s last Incarnation

I feel that it is the book that will give a new orientation there. That’s why I am insisting. And Russia…. Russia, changed to the right side, it would be wonderful!… I don’t know why…. Naturally I was Russian in a recent incarnation, when I was…. Is it Catherine?

Catherine, yes.

And that’s very much alive in me.

My impression is that if the whole Russian bloc were to turn to the right side, it would be a tremendous support…. And they are not satisfied; you know, they’re in the state in which you’re capable of doing something because you’re not satisfied—they are NOT satisfied. Their experience… basically they don’t want to admit it, but their experience has failed.

6. March 1971 – An Atmosphere of Resistance

Obviously there is a great change in the nature, I can see it. When I look at my body live, it’s as if I were seeing the body of someone completely new. Unfortunately it is… it lacks suppleness, I think.

There’s this whole “formation” of age like this (gesture all around Mother), an almost subconscious idea that “she is old, she is old….” It creates an atmosphere of resistance to the change. It almost creates a conflict in the being. Outwardly, it’s not so good. When I was sick, for example, I became increasingly bent over; now I would like to straighten up: the doctor says in a peremptory tone that if I tried to straighten up abruptly, I would break my back…. You see, things like that. “It’s impossible, impossible, impossible,” from every side.

Don’t repeat that; I am telling you so that you keep it.

So there’s only one solution for me…. Actually the only will that is all-powerful is the Divine Will—what He wants will be in spite of everything, or because of everything. That’s all. It’s not my concern. Only, it’s not going as fast as it could if circumstances were different. But probably that’s my own opinion. Probably it’s as good as it can be.

10. March 1971 – About Sri Aurobindo’s Life

There’s nothing to say about his life here…. Basically no one really knows the life he led here. I am afraid they’ll write a lot of nonsense. I would prefer that nothing be said—they can say he retired to Pondicherry to lead the life of Yoga and henceforth only that mattered, and it’s better not to speak of it. That’s all.

It doesn’t have to be lengthy: just a chapter to close the series, to say that his life in Pondicherry was exclusively taken up with Yoga and that he wrote what he wanted to say, and consequently there’s nothing more to add.

We have everything he wrote, and it’s much better than anything we can say about it.

13. March 1971 – Confusion about Mental and Spirit in German

What should be done for these books is to put a note in, to insert a note in each book saying that this particular word used here corresponds to that word used in the other books—to let people know. Because if it’s the same word as “mental,” that leads to terrible confusion—terrible, the worst confusion. There has to be a distinction, it’s imperative: either T.K. has to put a note or…. Because you see, if they put “mental” for both words, or even another word that means the same thing, it distorts the teaching immediately. It immediately creates terrible confusion.

But is German such a poor language? Isn’t all this ignorance on their part?… They could take a word that isn’t a common word and give it a special meaning—and then, put in a note the special meaning they’ve given the word. But to use a word that means “mind” is crazy, it immediately distorts the teaching.

17. March 1971 – Mother’s Body Progress

You know, I have the impression that the body… since it wants to progress fast, is literally whipped into moving ahead. But that’s entirely personal… I am not complaining.

It’s of no interest to others.

It’s as if there were a constant ringing directed to the body (Mother makes a gesture of hammering): “You say you want to live only for the Divine—so live only for the Divine, live only…” (same gesture of hammering).

And so it sees how much it still belongs to this old world.

But anyway it’s all right.

We’re right in the midst of the transition—for everything. And how long is the transition going to last? I don’t know…. I have the feeling things are going as fast as they can, that if they were any faster, everything would break.

17. March 1971 – Become Searchlights of the Divine

If we could become transparent instruments—we have so many dark spots! That’s what’s terrible, those dark spots. If we could be like a… something like a searchlight of the Divine shining constantly, which nothing could dim—that’s the only way. To be like a searchlight casting the Divine onto the world. He is there, but the world… as you say, doesn’t see Him, doesn’t care about Him. Such a blinding searchlight should be made of Him that one is forced, compelled to acknowledge Him.

Oh, yes—everything is divine. There is ONLY the Divine. But He is broken up into opposites. And the extreme opposite can be touched, overcome, if you will, transformed by the divine extreme—halfway measures won’t work. It is the divine extreme that will be able to transform the dark extreme: by absorbing (gesture of taking into herself), absorbing and blotting out the darkness. By absorbing it, it can blot out its action.

17. March 1971 – The Need of Oneness

It comes like this (gesture of hammering): the only solution is the ONE—there is a Oneness. The only solution is always Oneness. There’s a kind of incapacity to see that everything we call “falsehood” is the ONE AND THE SAME Thing, it’s we who see it incorrectly. And naturally it seems quite stupid, and yet that’s it: ONE—ONE, ONE, ONE… (same gesture of hammering).

11. April 1971 – Stay Calm

But the lesson to be drawn from all this is to remain calm so as not to lose contact with the Supreme Lord.

14. April 1971 – Cling to the Divine

There’s an impression that not a single minute should be lost, that we should constantly, constantly cling to the Divine to compel his descent here. Otherwise… otherwise it’s terrible.

So I need… I need all those who love me to understand me.

And you, mon petit, it’s your destiny. It is your destiny: to become conscious and manifest the Divine—it is your destiny. You must…. Me, I am in a hurry because I see circumstances becoming more and more… acute—dangerous. Only a miracle can save us—that is to say, what we consider a miracle: an intervention… an intervention of the Divine Will in its purity, undistorted, uncontroverted, unobstructed—just That.

21. April 1971 – Forgetting the Past

I am such a different person that I don’t remember my past life anymore! I was asked a question this morning: I was blank! I was asked whether the first time I came to Pondicherry I came by train or by boat.1 The second time I still remember [by boat]. Logically it’s by train; but it’s like giving an answer concerning someone else.

29. April 1971 – Madness of the World

The world is going mad.

We have to keep the faith like this (gesture of clenched fists). Not here (pointing to the forehead), but here, like this, in the Divine.

1. May 1971 – The Divine inside and outside

There’s only one direction—toward the Divine. And as you know, it’s as much inside as outside, above as below. Everywhere. It’s in this very world that we must find the Divine and cling to Him—to Him alone, there’s no other way. It’s not here or there, it’s everywhere, but….

5. May 1971 – About Russians

I have great hope for the Russians…. I don’t know why…. They’ve had an experience and have realized the emptiness of it all.

8. May 1971 – Another Few Hundred Years

Well, that means the world is not ready!

It will take another few hundred years.

You see, the faith of people is a superstition—it’s not faith, it’s superstition. Now there are more and more people who think they have faith, and they ask me ridiculous things! They have superstitions like…. Someone brings me a child born with a deformed arm, and the superstition is that if I put my hand on the arm of the child, he’ll be healed…. Things like that. It’s completely stupid. That’s not Power! They need a little miracle, you know, at their level.

But even those who might have a power…. Look how it is: certain people could have a power, they would just have to have the true inspiration—they’re afraid of it, mon petit! They reject the true inspiration, because they think that things have to follow their “natural” course—so-called natural.

Humanity rejects the true miracle. It only believes in….

They have chosen, they have chosen the path of the turtle. So that’s how it will be.

There are moments—what Sri Aurobindo called The Hour of God—there are moments when the true, the true miracle is possible; if that moment is missed, then the world will go… at its turtle pace.

And it’s hard—a lot of suffering, a lot of complications…. But faith, who has faith? True faith.

But its collapse will crush many things at the same time. That’s the point; it’s true, that’s what is going to happen, but the collapse will crush many things.

12. May 1971 – The Danger from China

But already quite some time ago I saw China invading India, even South India. And that’s the worst of catastrophes—the Chinese don’t have a psychic being. The Chinese have a lunar origin and they don’t have a psychic being (there are exceptions, but I mean in general), and so one can expect ANYTHING from them—every possible horror. I’ve seen them—all, everywhere… horrible!

I’ve seen the Chinese in this room.

But several times during the last years that thought has come to me, Mother—several times it came to me.

Which is the end of everything. I mean, it will probably take centuries before things can return to normalcy.

You see, there are limits to the horrors men can commit because, in spite of everything, there is a psychic being behind that curbs them—but the Chinese don’t have one.

15. May 1971 – Representation of Countries

At one point in the text, he briefly mentions what he thinks each country represents:

France = Clarity of intellect

Germany = Ingenuity

Russia = The brotherhood of man

United States = Practical organization.

The Greater History tells us that the whole earth is a single body with a single destiny, but that within that single destiny each part of the greater body, each nation, has its special role to play and its rare moments of choice when it must make the decisive gesture, its true gesture in the total movement of the great Eternal History. Each nation is a symbol. Each gesture of each nation potentially represents a little victory in the total victory or a little defeat in the total defeat. And sometimes the whole of our history is at stake at a symbolic point of the earth; and, a little gesture, a tiny turn to the right or left, has repercussions, either good or bad, down the ages and over the entire earth body.

The time has come to consider the eternal Landmarks and read the greater tide in the small eddies. Now, the greater tide tells us that India’s role is to be the spiritual heart of the terrestrial body just as, for example, the role of France is to express clarity of intellect, or that of Germany to express skill, Russia the brotherhood of man and the United States enthusiasm for adventure and practical organization, etc. But only if India is ONE can she fulfill this role, for how can one who is herself divided lead others? Thus the division of India is the first Falsehood that must disappear, for it is the symbol of the earth’s division. As long as India is not one, the world cannot be one. India’s striving for unity is the symbolic drama of the world’s striving for unity.

For the battle of India is the battle of the world. This is where the world’s tragic destiny is brewing, or its last-minute burst of hope into a new world of Truth and Light, for it is said that the deepest darkness lies nearest the most luminous light.

22. May 1971 – To be limpid!

You see, the Will comes, but then all the formations come in and decay its execution—I would like… I would like my atmosphere to be… a limpid transmitter, utterly limpid. I don’t even try to know what it is, because that too introduces an ordinary human element. A limpid, limpid transmitter: let it come like this (gesture of direct descent), pure, in all its purity—even if it is overwhelming.

At bottom we don’t know why one thing is like this, another thing is like that, and our vision is… even if our vision is worldwide, it is so small, so small—so exclusive: we want this, we do not want that. First and FOREMOST to be an instrument: we must be LIMPID, limpid, things must pass through undistorted and unobstructed.

Actually, that’s how I spend all my time, trying to be like that.

Just a few days ago, the disaster seemed to be closing in. And so, at that moment, it was as if my whole being… what’s the word? (Mother clenches her fists), were, yes, you can call it an aspiration for the true Victory—not the one sought by this side or that side or…—the true Victory. ALL the difficulties seemed to have been as though a light shone: the possibility of Victory. It’s still… not miraculous, but the intervention… it’s the intervention of the Supreme Wisdom—will it concretize? We’ll see. It seems, it seems to be coming like this (gesture at a certain height, her two palms turned downward), as a possibility.

22. May 1971 – The Tail of the Devil

That’s always there…. It’s everything that does not want the Divine which creates the atmosphere deliberately to discourage those who want the Divine. You must… you mustn’t pay any attention. It’s the device of the devil. Pessimism is the devil’s tool, for he feels his own situation is… (shaky gesture). You know, if the possibility I see materializes, it will really be a decisive Victory over the adverse forces—naturally they fight back as best as they can. But that’s always the devil, as soon as you see even the tail of pessimism, it’s the devil. That’s his great tool.

25. May 1971 – Divine Victory is certain!

Deep within. To feel the Light, the Force, the Joy, the Certainty—the Certainty.

The Divine Victory is certain. It cannot be otherwise.

He must let the Divine enfold him completely.

30. May 1971 – Falsehood

Falsehood has become acute and terrible. It has to go, so it’s clinging. Since yesterday it’s become so terrible that no one can be trusted.

5. May 1971 – A certain Way of Being

All circumstances have been furiously teaching the body to… call all the time, all the time—to call the Divine. And so now it’s got into the habit of repeating its mantra, and it repeats it ALL THE TIME. It’s a curious thing: if it repeats it, everything runs smoothly; if it doesn’t, it can’t even swallow food—everything seems on the verge of falling apart; so it repeats its mantra, and everything goes quite well. When it thinks of nothing but the Divine, everything is fine. This morning, while I was having breakfast, that’s how it was. It was so plain! If the body thinks about eating, everything goes wrong; if it repeats its mantra, it can absorb the food, it doesn’t even notice it, everything becomes so easy. Very interesting…. The same goes for people: when they’re here, if I think about them, if I think there are difficulties, then… (grating gesture), but if I am like this (peaceful gesture, immovable in the Lord), everything goes well, quite naturally.

It’s a lesson, but a relentless one.

And it has some old remnants of atavism. There’s (Mother laughs) a sort of fear—an altogether childish fear: “If I think of the Divine, there are going to be difficulties to be overcome”; that’s how it is in the cells (not everywhere, there’s very little of it, like some old remnants of something dragging over from previous lives), so then I laugh. The body asks but one thing, to melt into the Divine, to be nothing but That, to cease to exist separately—then all is well. It’s very interesting. It’s really the sadhana of the body, and in quite a compelling way—absolutely compelling. And when it leaves That, it feels it’s going to disintegrate the very next minute—that it is the only thing that keeps it together; without That, it doesn’t exist anymore.

That became quite concrete today.

Humanity has a dread (it must have been necessary at one time, some thousands of years ago, I don’t know), a dread of the Divine. The human animal. For him, it is equivalent to disappearing. And in effect it is the disappearance of the ego. And the disappearance of that [physical] ego… for a long time one has had the impression that if the ego disappears, the being disappears, the form disappears—but that’s not true! It isn’t true. In any case, it has become ready [Mother’s body] to live without an ego…. The trouble is that life’s ordinary laws no longer hold. Which means all the old habit, plus the new thing to be learned.

It’s as if the cells—not the body’s cells: the organization that makes up the form (that holds everything together and makes up a form, a form we call human), it’s as if that had to learn it can go on living without the sense of separate individuality. Curious. Without the sense of ego. While for thousands of years it’s been accustomed to existing separately only because of the ego—without ego it goes on… according to another law the body doesn’t yet know, and which… it finds incomprehensible. It has nothing to do with a will, it’s not… I don’t know… a something… a way of being. But then, billions of ways of being.

It has to learn to be a certain way of being.

9. June 1971 – The Divine and Mr. Ego

What I said is the Truth, and the ONLY remedy:

to exist only for the Divine

to exist only by the Divine

to exist only to serve the Divine

to exist only… by becoming divine.

There you are.

There isn’t any “you,” there isn’t any “we must be patient,” there isn’t any “it will come in its own time,” there isn’t any… of all those very reasonable things, they don’t exist anymore—it’s That (Mother lowers her fist sharply), like a sword-blade. It’s That. And it’s That DESPITE EVERYTHING: the Divine. The Divine alone. All that hodgepodge of bad will and revolt and… all that (Mother raises an unalterable finger) has to be swept away.

And that which says that we will perish or be destroyed by That is the ego—it is Mr. Ego trying to pass himself off as the true being.

But the body has learned that even without ego it is what it is, because it is that by the Divine Will and not at all by the ego—we exist by the Divine Will and not by the ego. The ego was a means—a centuries-old means. Centuries old. Now, it’s worthless, it’s time is over. It had its time, it had its usefulness—it’s over, it’s past, it’s way past. Now… (Mother lowers her fist sharply): consciousness is the Divine; power is the Divine; action is the Divine; individuality is the Divine.

And the body has understood, sensed very well; it has realized and understood, as they say in English, that the sense of being a separate personality is PERFECTLY useless, perfectly useless, it is not in the least indispensable to its existence, it’s perfectly useless. It exists by another power and another will, which is not individual, not personal: the Divine Will. And it will become what it is supposed to be the day it feels there is no difference between itself and the Divine. That’s all.

All the rest is falsehood—false, false, false, and a falsehood that must disappear. There is only ONE reality, there is only ONE life, there is only ONE consciousness (Mother lowers her fist sharply): the Divine.

16. June 1971 – Onslaught of Falsehood

It’s quite a current truth [the onslaught].

Oh, that [the dissolution of the ego] is perfect; that should be published, it’s my everyday experience, every minute, all the time…. That should be published now.

You know, it’s my experience every minute, for every single thing, constantly: for rest, for activity, for food, for everything, for action with people, for everything, everything; it’s a kind of… I could almost say a possession by the Divine. And my body senses that it exists only like this (fists clenched, clinging to the Divine): without That, there is nothing. Ah, the experience is constant and total!

(Mother goes within)

It’s interesting: EVERYTHING is useful—everything is useful, everything is necessary, in its place in time and space (it’s something that is neither time nor space: in the Manifestation, we could say), and it becomes falsehood when it tries to last after its time is over. So what is needed is to be able to be within the Movement—the Movement of eternal Unfolding—where things… become truer and truer. For in the total and eternal Movement, all things become truer and truer.

3. July 1971 – Demonstration of the Existence of the Divine

It’s so… horrible, you know—just everyone, all the people you count on, everything, all, all is falling to pieces; so much so that the consciousness wonders: “But what is this hell, this is no life!” And then, at another moment—but for a few minutes only—there’s such a marvelous state that it’s unimaginable. There you are. That’s what I’ve been living since… night and day without letup.

This morning for a few minutes it was absolutely marvelous, but the rest of the time it’s infernal. There you are, you see, that’s life for you. Everything, all, all seems to be falling apart, the people you count on give way, but at the same time, all of a sudden…. It’s 90 percent like that, but the 10 percent is so marvelous that it’s unimaginable. That’s how things are.

And all the ideas of personal will or of a certain attitude to take are…. Night and day, ceaselessly, whatever the difficulties, my body simply says, “My God, let Your Will be done.” The body’s attitude is steadfast: it is completely like this (hands open in offering). And the sense of its own powerlessness… no: for as much as the sense of self is left (it’s not much, not much is left), but the little that is left is so powerless, so impotent, so ignorant… ignorant! Frightfully ignorant of everything. It’s something…. One wonders why, what’s the reason for this (Mother touches her body). And then… (gesture of a marvelous flash). That’s how it is.

And the other side doesn’t create any problems. It’s… as if you were absolutely sick, a total mess, and all of a sudden you’re marvelously well, strong. And it comes very naturally, without any fuss. It remains there, and then pfft!

You see, it’s got to the point that eating is becoming a problem, sleeping is becoming a problem, speaking is becoming a problem—everything is a problem—but then at the same time… it gets done, one doesn’t know how: things fall into place, and one eats, one rests…. For instance, I am lying down, I am so uncomfortable that I think, “It’s impossible, I can’t stay here,” and then all of a sudden, poff! nothing anymore: a marvelous repose. And there is no more body, no more problem, nothing. And then without knowing the why or the how, suddenly the difficulties are back. And it’s like that, all of life is like that.

So people come and tell me, “I have this problem, that problem….” “Look,” I tell them (exasperated tone), “no wonder the whole world is like that!” It can perish for all I care… it would be a relief. There you are. But then… (gesture of a marvelous flash). Three minutes of splendor for twelve hours of misery. That’s the ratio. And for a body that truly, sincerely… thinks only of the Divine, wants only the Divine. But it is utterly conscious of its incapacity.

You know, it’s like a live demonstration of the existence of the Divine and what the Divine existence is—an absolute existence and what it is—and then what it has become.

The world is “like that,” but it isn’t true! It is NOT like that—it’s like that for our consciousness…. For a while this morning, I wondered, “What is it like in the consciousness of wild animals?…” And I saw that the consciousness capable of seeing the whole doesn’t exist for animals, they don’t have it—they live from day to day and minute to minute whatever happens to them. That’s all. I understand that, I saw, it’s the… (gesture to the forehead indicating that the mind spoils everything).

In short, it’s becoming very, very critical: how far the world is from what it should be. Usually people say there’s a mixture of good and bad things; but all that is childish—the good things aren’t any better than the bad ones. That’s not IT. The Divine is something else.

Mother: For me, the Divine has become as concrete—more concrete and more compelling—than…. Only, we are not capable of feeling Him: one minute, a few minutes all of a sudden, and then, prrt!

10. July 1971 – The World has to change

The experience in the body is very interesting. All so-called moral, intellectual, psychological suffering, in other words, the suffering of the consciousness that is not purely material, seems childish to the body. Yesterday, it had… (what shall I say? I don’t know how to explain it). It doesn’t feel things in relation to itself, it feels things… (silence) IN others, but with a general consciousness, not a personal one; and it has such a horror of physical suffering, that is to say illnesses, accidents, that it wondered why, why the world exists like that.1 It then understood why some people don’t want to have a body anymore (that always seemed absurd before), it understood why. It was such an intense experience! It had an aspiration, something like a prayer, but it’s not a prayer: “May the world change! May the world change. It HAS to change—or else disappear.” The idea of disappearing had not come before, it seemed… it used to think that the world was moving towards a harmonious perfection; but, you see, it’s long—the length of time is terrible! There was an aspiration of incredible intensity for the transformation. Everything looks so dreadful because… because the transformation must, MUST take place. That anyone can be satisfied with a world like this is impossible—it’s impossible to a physical consciousness that is conscious of the Divine. It’s impossible, it absolutely has to change. And that was so vivid… I was gripped by it all night and all day, even while seeing people, with such an intensity: it must change, it must change….

The being, the inner consciousness can say and be conscious that that suffering is unreal, but the physical consciousness can’t—it can’t, it HAS to change. It’s not a matter of merging with a consciousness, leaving this physical consciousness to disappear: it has to change, it has to change…. I can’t put it into words, I can’t say it.

It is so very conscious that in all the worlds, even the vital world, everything depends on the attitude, and if you are in contact with the Divine, everything is fine, there’s no problem, but this (Mother touches her body), this physical suffering—cancer and all those things—it’s so concrete: It HAS to change, it has to change. It can’t be considered something one must “see in a different way.” It actually must change.

Let me say it in a very down-to-earth way: for example, take a supramental being having the supramental consciousness, if his body gets cancer, it will remain cancer, you follow?… He may not feel anything, but only if he detaches himself from his body; whereas, for the transformation to be genuine, the body ALSO has to attain a harmony above—above all illnesses and accidents.

It is the only part. The other parts of the being can be transformed, can transform their consciousness while remaining what they are—but the physical body needs to change.

You know, I always felt, always: if something isn’t right, it means that this something isn’t really turned to the Divine. And if everything is turned to the Divine, and obeys only the Divine, things will inevitably be harmonious. That was my conviction. But yesterday the experience came differently.

Probably it’s a necessary experience.

And the body has strange experiences: for a few minutes all of a sudden, it feels that the solidity of matter is an illusion and that it may…. Here, I’ll give you a very practical example: something inside, an inflammation somewhere, for instance; well, as long as I am in the ordinary physical consciousness, it’s there, it’s concrete and it hurts, but there is a consciousness in which it no longer exists—physically. If you know (what shall I say?)… to put it simply: to approach the Divine in the right way, to enter into contact with the Divine in the right way, in the right manner—it starts up again afterwards as before.

17. July 1971 – People’s Behaviour

In a way, it was like a demonstration—like a stage play, you know, showing how people behave with the Divine. It was really comical! You may get angry and say, “How shameful!”—but it was comical. It was laughable: everything is the Divine’s fault! That’s how people are commonly: it’s the Divine who ill-uses them, the Divine who does not spare them, the Divine who arranges circumstances wrongly…. That’s how it is. They’re all like that.

And it’s a kind of half-conscious malice: you do this, they just do that (slight twist), they twist it a little, and everything becomes distorted; you say one thing, they add a word or take one out and it’s all distorted. Even what is written they read in their own way. It’s stunning.

17. July 1971 – The World in its Self-conceit

Somewhere Sri Aurobindo wrote that when you touched the Divine Consciousness, it suddenly gave you the sense of… how laughable the world is in its self-conceit—men’s self-conceit. But even (I’ve had contact with animals), even in animals it begins. Vanity, vanity, vanity, vanity….

You know, almost everywhere deception and attempts at deception are taken for goodwill. As for those who don’t seek to deceive anybody but only deceive themselves, they are already exceptional beings.

These aren’t discoveries, they are things I used to see; but you see them only occasionally, by way of exception, in one instance or another, whereas there I had the vision of the whole world, of the entire earth, of all human effort, of all peoples, all… we live in a deception. It’s frightful!

21. July 1971 – The Human Consciousness distorts everything

The body is more and more conscious, but not at all mentally—like… like things actually lived. I don’t know how to say it. It’s hard to explain…. It’s sensing or having the… (I don’t know how to explain exactly what it is) how, in the manifestation, the human consciousness distorts the Divine Action (gesture of direct flow). It’s our constitution which is so pitiable. We reduce, distort, diminish EVERYTHING—everything. We know things (Knowledge is there all around us, in us), but we are so complicated that we distort it. Everyone is that way…. So then, this is a kind of very accurate sensation of everything that is organized by the inner Divine from within, and at the same time how it gets distorted as it surfaces (words are silly, and yet that’s the closest I can come). It’s our silly way of saying something that is… so simple and so marvelous!… But we are so perverted that we always choose what is distorted.

I don’t know, even my words distort the thing, but it’s… it’s something I feel is so simple, so luminous, so pure—so absolute. And then, we make of it what we can see around us: a complicated and almost incomprehensible life.

I am sure that it’s the passage from this life to that Life. When we are completely on that side, oh, we’ll stop speculating, wanting to “explain,” wanting to deduce, conclude, arrange—all that will be over…. If we knew how… to be—simply to BE, to be. But for us, I have noticed, if we don’t speak, if we don’t think, if we don’t decide, we feel we are outside life…. And besides it’s not always the same kind of silence. It isn’t the silence of unexpressed words, it’s the silence of… an active contemplation. The silence of an active contemplation. That’s it.

It’s certainly the preparation for a new mode of life. So the other one has to yield its place.

I see (as through a veil or as if it were very far away) a Power, an EXTRAORDINARY Power! But we are such imbeciles we don’t even accept it. I know, I’ve had some experiences these past few days…. I have this vision in which the psychic consciousness sees that through this instrument, through this (but this—Mother pinches the skin of her hands—has nothing to do with it except being the link between things as they are and the things that are to be), well, through this, A GREAT NUMBER of miracles are being done; and they are so extraordinary (lately) that it occurred to no one that they were miracles!… One simply doesn’t know. It’s not a miracle as we conceive of it—an extraordinary miracle…. But then… they don’t have any means of understanding.

(silence)

Therefore the body is no longer this, but is not yet “that.” It is like this (gesture of swinging between the two), and that’s why… this is not a cold, it’s…. Sometimes I am completely cured, everything, but everything works well, a minute later, everything breaks down. It’s not a cold you “cure.” Taking a medicine does not make any difference, while if you go into the true consciousness, everything is over. But it is incapable of staying there. It’s not so much the contact with people, it’s that it is incapable of staying there, that’s what it is. It can’t blame anyone else.

We could say: nothing knows—anywhere or anybody; but there are those who aspire (how shall I put it?), who have the will, the inclination, the aspiration, the need to know—to know and to be—and then all those who don’t care… who go along or just live their little-big life—whether it’s a head of state or a street cleaner makes no difference. It’s the same thing, the vibrations are the same. I don’t know how to explain it. I am saying it awkwardly.

24. July 1971 – Constant Invocation

I tell you, we are no longer here, we are not yet there…. So it seems stupid. The body is more and more conscious, and it is conscious of the old habits that pull backwards but it is also conscious of the new possibilities that are there, that try to…. There’s only one movement to make, a movement of adherence, and… everything would be all right—MARVELOUSLY all right. The old thing is like an old wall being torn down. That’s it. So it’s quite a ridiculous situation.

The body feels it’s no longer here: this holds no reality for it anymore, but it’s not yet THERE. So it’s like this (oscillating gesture between the two). It aspires. It has learned to invoke the Divine all the time, all the time, all the time, whatever it is doing, whether there are people present, whether it’s speaking or not; whatever it does, there is a constant invocation. That way, it’s all right. But… it’s not positive yet. (Mother coughs) And this cold seems to go away and then it comes back. It’s not an ordinary cold.

But as soon as I go into deep silence, then, for somebody who’s receptive, it can be very helpful. As soon as I go into deep silence, the Presence becomes concrete, evident. Then it’s helpful. But as soon as I speak, I am… (gesture of crumbling away).

31. July 1971 – Spreading Madness

They have distorted the meaning of things I have said…. I am constantly receiving letters from people—it seems to be a widespread malady. People come into your home and say, “Your hour has come.” They came into the house of someone who knows us and said, “Your hour has come, give us your pistol.” So he said, “All right, let me get my pistol and I’ll give it to you.” He opened a drawer and some cartridges fell out, so one of the hoodlums bent down to pick the cartridges up. And that man shot him with his revolver. So all the others ran away. But mostly it ends the other way—with a murder. It happened in his house. And in America if you walk down the street, they shoot at you. Everywhere. It’s a spreading madness. Or else they stab you with a knife—for no reason whatsoever, nobody knows why. And some of them say, “I am God-inspired….”

You know, it’s like a universal outburst of falsehood. It’s frightening. They take the teachings and twist them—they use them as a justification.

4. August 1971 – Deep in Transformation

I am deep in transformation, that’s why I’ve lost control. What I could do before I can’t do anymore. I see, I clearly see the direction it will take, but it’s not there yet. So now I am good-for-nothing.

My voice is completely ruined.

It’s interesting only from a documentary standpoint [the present conditions], because when this experience ends, and the supermind really starts coming, things will change and it will have a mere historical value.

It’s the most unpleasant moment…. The Power is here, you see, but the means of expressing it have not yet been created.

The old control is slipping away. It’s quite irksome for me—especially for eating, for instance, it’s very hard to swallow, to… oh!

The body has simply a kind of… perception—a distant perception—of what the true supramental control will be, but it’s only like this (gesture into the distance), almost like a promise, nothing more.

Truly a transition between two worlds.

7. August 1971 – A Web envelopes the Earth

I have a curious impression of a kind of web—a web with… like very loose threads, I mean not tightly meshed, connecting all events, and if you have power over one of these webs, there’s a whole field of circumstances that apparently have nothing to do with each other but which are linked together there in such a way that one necessarily implies the existence of the other…. And I have the impression it’s something that envelops the earth.

And it’s not mental. They are circumstances that depend on one another, in a completely invisible way outwardly, without any mental logic, and yet as though connected to each other.

If you are conscious, really conscious of that, that’s how you can change circumstances.

If you had the power to replace one of those webs with another one, you could change all circumstances that way.

(Mother shakes her head)

It’s inexpressible.

They’re webs that are around the earth.

There’s one… I see…. Why, every little circumstance of life is on it, and when I look like this (gesture looking from above), I see it extends over the whole country, and not just over the whole country but over the whole earth.

11. August 1971 – One Remedy against Falsehood

It’s as if you asked me, “What will it take for humanity to become disgusted with its falsehood?”

It’s terrible!

There is only ONE remedy—there is only ONE remedy—to rely only on the Divine Grace.

August 1971 – Message

(First version) The task of giving a concrete form to Sri Aurobindo’s vision has been given to the Mother.

(Second version) The task of completing Sri Aurobindo’s vision has been given to the Mother. The creation of a new world, a new humanity, a new society expressing and embodying the new consciousness is the work she has undertaken. By the very nature of things, it is an ideal because the state of Nature that makes it necessary must be surpassed.

We aspire for the time when Sri Aurobindo will no longer have to die.

14. August 1971 – Only the Divine Consciousness

The body is beginning to… I could say to have the true attitude. I mean it increasingly feels in a concrete manner and, I could say, ACUTE manner that there is only ONE way to exist—in the Divine Consciousness. All the rest seems… seems to it dangerous, unknown.

To remain as though constantly bathed in the Divine Consciousness seems to the body the only way to exist. There is no other. That’s the attitude of the body. It feels… you see, it’s more than an impression, it’s…. I don’t know, almost an acute sensation, that one can exist only in the Divine and be constantly concentrated upon the Divine. And that such is the transition to go towards something that is still… I wouldn’t say a dream, but a wonder. THAT….

It likes less and less to speak.

All words seem childish to it.

It has no need to know anything: it has a need of being entirely molded, set in motion and used in every way [by the Divine], and it has but one dream—to forget that it exists—to become spontaneously the expression… (Mother has a blissful smile) of something… of something it calls the Divine, which is the only true thing.

I don’t “see” Sri Aurobindo —I feel his presence.

Recently I read some of his letters about me…. How? It’s really a miracle that I survived [his passing]…. My whole… [being collapsed]. He was such a marvelous protection and support!

The inner being wasn’t affected because that remained the way it was—the closeness, the intimacy remained the same—but the physical being…. It’s a miracle it survived.

That wasn’t necessary because I was there. But I know he was interested, in the sense that he thought money should come very freely and abundantly. He always thought that people should give all they had—for him that was an absolute rule. One shouldn’t have to ask—they should spontaneously give all they had.

The body has only one ambition, I could say, that only the Divine exist and that it be like… like something the Divine uses and is absolutely malleable and expressive. That’s all. Until such time when it will exist only in the Divine.

There’s a kind of prescience of a state in which there is only the Divine Consciousness. That…. (Mother intently closes her eyes with an ecstatic smile.)

Only the Divine Consciousness.

18. August 1971 – Replacement for the Mantra

The body has the impression that it has to learn a new way to live, and it is learning new things all the time. But they’re tiny little things, that is, there’s a kind of secret to be found, an attitude that must be steadfast, making circumstances as good as they can be.

It’s something equivalent to the mantra. For the time being the body repeats the mantra, but it knows that it’s…. There’s something to be learned that physically replaces the mantra.

These last few days (and quite strongly this morning) I have had the impression: the Divine is all things, and we are born so that each one makes a choice and manifests one of those things—one or several…. And so comes the question of deciding on the choice, but that’s just where one must surrender entirely and leave the choice entirely to the Divine. We have been created as we are, and that’s the reason for all this wavering, these complications—but what we have to learn is to leave it to… that is, have no desire, no preference, and leave the choice entirely to the Divine.

21. August 1971 – Entering a New World

Now I am having some activities at night, completely new as I have never had before, extremely concrete and in which living people are mingled with those we call dead—and they are the SAME, they are the same there. For example, last night there was a very long activity with many people, and among those people was Purani (I see him very often)...

And one thing after another…. And I was like one of them, wearing strange clothes.

I am discovering a world I didn’t know, which is the world… I wonder if it’s not the vital physical? There were dances, movements…. That is, to put it in ordinary words: I have dreams such as I have never had before; only it’s not dreams, it’s an activity. It’s a world I was totally unaware of, and which is like this (Mother interlaces her fingers to show a sort of interpenetration of the physical and that world).

There are so many, so many things to learn.

Only those with a physical body have the kind of reactions—pleasure, displeasure—we have in physical life. The others no longer have it. That seems to disappear with the purely physical consciousness.

More and more I get the feeling we know nothing. That’s all. That there is an infinite variety of things, and we know nothing.

I think it’s the mind that gives meaning to things; without the mind, things ARE, without their being given a meaning—they are because they are. So then for us, for the consciousness as it has evolved here, it is perfectly idiotic. While there it seems perfectly natural.

That must be what makes people become “unhinged.” If they don’t have inside what we could call the “divine support,” a kind of unshakable faith in the Truth and divine Grace, if they don’t have that….

25. August 1971 – Impression about Death

All mental notions seem artificial to me…. At times there is terrible anguish; at times there is perfect peace.

It’s strange, at times I have the impression that death makes much less of a change than we think, and at other times it’s totally incomprehensible…. Strange, it’s like the two extremes: sometimes, it barely makes a difference; the next time it’s a… something… what does death really mean?

I told you about those activities at night (I have no impression of sleeping, and yet the body is perfectly at rest), in which there are people who are living and people who are “dead” in ordinary language—and they are absolutely alike. Except that the living seem still to have egoistic reactions, which the others don’t have. But it’s… (fluid gesture)…. What to us is real doesn’t exist anymore. And it’s very concrete.

It’s the transition from the old way of being, which is becoming more and more distant, to… the Divine does everything. For instance, even food has become pretty difficult, because the old way of eating seems more and more remote, and it is replaced by something… inexpressible. It’s inexpressible.

It’s as if you were standing on a ridge (gesture) and the least misstep would pitch you into a hole.

Everything seems different, all the… everything seems so different. The nature of the relations with people is changing, the nature of everything is changing, but what? What?

It’s like being on the brink or point or… hanging in balance—a tremendous Power (there’s a tremendous power, I have some examples), and at the same time, an incredible helplessness.

I don’t even know where I am going—whether I am going towards transformation or towards the end. The consciousness is there (gesture above), it isn’t affected…. I don’t know…. But I am kept in this body (gesture of being held down strongly), as though it were willed that I remain in this consciousness. And then, all these cells become conscious, but…. Does it depend on having a form or not? I don’t know.

I am not in a condition where I can help others outwardly.

At times the body feels it can last an eternity like this; at times it feels it may get dissolved any moment…. And all, all, is like that.

Well, we’ll see.

The Force, the Power is greater and greater, but… (I don’t know how to say it) but it’s not a personal power, not at all.

28. August 1971 – Tremendous Power

First of all, I am convinced that the need to see things, to think them, is purely human and is a transitory device. It is a transitory phase, which seems terribly long to us, but in fact is rather short.

Even our consciousness is an adaptation of the Consciousness—THE Consciousness, the true consciousness is something else.

And so the conclusion for my body is… (as best as I can translate it): to curl up in the Divine. Not to try to understand, not to try to know: try TO BE…. And to curl up. So I spend my time like that.

Not “try”: only one minute like that is enough (gesture of stepping backward), and time doesn’t matter anymore. It’s very curious, I make experiments for every little movement of life, like meals, for example; well, when I curl up like this (gesture of interiorization), everything seems instantaneous. There isn’t any time. When I am in the outer consciousness (what I call outer is a consciousness that witnesses the creation), then things take more or less time depending on the attention given it. And so everything, everything seems… nothing seems to be (what’s the word?) absolute, in the sense of real—real, a concrete reality—nothing seems to be like that. Except unpleasant things in the body such as, for example, some functioning that goes wrong; that, you recognize as imperfection. The imperfection is what makes you feel the thing, otherwise it’s like this (same gesture of interiorization, curled up in the Lord). And “like this,” the Power is tremendous, in the sense that… for instance, for some people, a particular illness vanishes (without my doing anything outwardly in fact, without my even speaking to anyone, absolutely nothing—it’s cured); for still another person… it’s the end, he goes over to the other side. But then that other side has become both quite familiar to me and… totally unknown.

I remember a time when the memory of past lives, the memory of night activities was so very concrete; the so-called invisible world was totally concrete—now… now everything is like a dream—everything—everything is like a dream veiling a Reality… an unknown Reality, and yet appreciable. I seem to be talking nonsense.

Then curiously enough: at the same time—at the same time—not one in the other or one with the other, but one AND the other, at the same time (Mother slips the fingers of her right hand between the fingers of her left) it’s marvelous and dreadful. Life as it is, as we feel it in our ordinary consciousness—as it is for men—seems something… but so dreadful that one wonders how it can be lived even a single minute; and the other, AT THE SAME TIME: a marvel. A marvel of light, consciousness, power—wondrous. And a power, a power!… And not the power of a particular person (Mother pinches the skin of her hands), it’s something… it’s something which is everything…. And you are left without words.

So, quite naturally, the most interesting thing is to find That. Quite naturally, whenever I have nothing to do… (gesture of interiorization, curled up in the Lord). That’s why I am forever asking you if you have questions or something, because there is no longer any “person” to be active, it’s only the things which… (gesture indicating the movements and vibrations of people or things triggering Mother’s activity). So when that’s not there, it’s… (gesture in suspense, silence)…. Very far, far off… quite close, quite close to the other Consciousness, there are moments (Mother speaks in a deep, solemn voice): OM Namo Bhagavateh…. That’s the most material thing. It’s already… it seems so… lifeless. It gives the impression that a piece of wood might give us. And yet it’s…. So at one and the same time one can be in a painful and incomprehensible and absurd life and absolutely at the same time… unutterably marvelous.

So naturally I can’t speak to anyone anymore, I can say it only to you, because people would think I am going nuts.

1. September 1971 – A Physical Being for the New Power

The body is being taught to exist by the Divine alone, to count on the Divine for everything—absolutely, absolutely everything without exception. There is even a pressure for…. It’s only when the consciousness is linked to its utmost to the Divine Consciousness that there’s the sense of existence. It has become extraordinarily intense. When the physical gets converted, it will be something SOLID, you know, unalterable—and complete. And so concrete…. The difference between being in the Divine, existing only by Him and for Him, and then being in the… not in the ordinary consciousness obviously, but just the human consciousness, is so great that the one seems like death compared to the other, it’s so…. I mean the physical realization is really a concrete realization.

There is beginning to be such a concentration of energy (oh! it’s not there yet, very far from it, but…), there’s a beginning of perception of how things will be. It’s… it’s really marvelous. And so powerful! A power and a reality in the consciousness that nothing, absolutely nothing else can have—everything vital or mental and all that seems hazy and unsubstantial. Whereas this is concrete (Mother clenches her fists). And so strong!

Some problems are still to be solved, but not with words or thoughts. And things come to demonstrate—not just personal things, but also things from people around me; people, things, circumstances, all that comes for teaching, teaching the body to have the true consciousness. It’s… it’s marvelous.

It seems that the problem was to create a physical being capable of bearing the Power that wants to manifest—all ordinary bodily consciousnesses are too thin and fragile to withstand the overwhelming Power that is to manifest. And so the body is being accustomed to it. It’s as if… you know, as if it suddenly caught a glimpse of such, such a marvelous horizon ahead, but overwhelmingly marvelous! Then, it is allowed to take only as much of it as it can bear.

Some adaptation is required.

It’s quite evident where rest and food are concerned (especially food). It’s very strange…. The transition… right in the middle of the transition.

Will it have enough plasticity? I don’t know.

It’s a matter of plasticity. To be able to withstand and transmit (gesture of something flowing through her), to offer no obstacle to the Power that wants to manifest.

Appearances are only future consequences. That’s why…. The appearance is what will change last.

4. September 1971 – Auroville

But take this other example: I am trying to make Auroville a link between the old way of being and the new, but they are all sunk in…. I mean they use their freedom to live in the most ordinary way. So… it’s discouraging. There are some—a few—who are good, but the majority is a subhumanity, an altogether animal humanity. So….

4. September 1971 – Living in the Consciousness

To be at every moment as expressive of the Divine Consciousness as one can be. That’s the only important thing.

This body is trying its best to exist only in the Divine. If it could no longer feel separate from the whole (Mother touches the separative skin of her hands), it would be perfectly happy.

People aren’t ready, mon petit! Every day I discover…. Those who are left to their freedom are worthless. They have the most vulgar consciousness, it’s dreadful—no aspiration, no need for perfection, nothing at all.

As for me I… this body does what it can. It can’t do much. It tries… it tries not to create any resistance. From time to time—from time to time—there’s something, a marvel, which lasts for a few seconds. But it’s… (Mother nods her head). Either we have to manage to make this body more plastic so it can be transformed, or else it will be for another life.

Although I must say that… Sri Aurobindo said to me, “Oh, to have to begin all that over again, the whole childhood and all that unconsciousness—no.” Before he left, he said no. “No, I shall return when it can be done in a supramental body.”

But there have to be bodies capable of lasting at will. He said, “The intermediate stage will be duration of life at will.” And I have the feeling that that is possible. Provided… the body itself thinks only of one thing—transformation. When it is like this [quiet, concentrated], then…. I can spend hours—hours without moving—in a kind of receptive contemplation, and it seems like a second. The sense of time is really curious. You see, there is a certain receptive contemplation, and there (gesture of being suspended in a smile)… time simply ceases to exist.

I sense…. I sense I am on the threshold of a great Secret… but (Mother nods her head)… not mental—not in thoughts. It’s… “something.”

8. September 1971 – Immortality

It’s really a period of transition for the body.

The body is realizing, becoming conscious of what in it prevents it from being immortal, and at the same time of what can be immortal in it. It has had moments of agony as never before in its whole life—in connection with death, which has never happened before. And it has understood that its very constitution was causing this, and what it had to change. I am… as though on the threshold of an extraordinary discovery, but….

(silence)

I could put it this way: the why of death has become clear, and the how of immortality is… (silence)…. You know, it’s a curious thing, the feeling that there is something (Mother feels with her fingertips) TO TOUCH.

I have the most peculiar feeling that there’s a kind of… like scales, or tree bark, or turtle shell, melting, while the body itself is not like that (Mother makes a gesture as if the body were swelling up and bursting in the sun). What seems like matter to man is… unreceptive. And in this body (Mother touches the skin of her hands), it is trying… it is trying to… (same gesture of swelling or blossoming). It’s really curious! It’s a curious sensation.

If one could last long enough for all that to melt away, then it would be the real beginning.

15. September 1971 – Psychic Being

The Psychic Being can come back, but there must be a conversion.

There must be a conversion.

That the psychic came to you is a very good sign—it’s a very good sign, even for him. Because ordinarily, when the psychic being goes away like that, it goes back to the psychic world and rests until the next life.

But he has remained conscious and came to you. That’s exceptional.

18. September 1971 – Overwhelming Power

There is a sort of promise of an overwhelming Power, and at the same time signs of such weakness—not weakness: disorganization. Disorganization, and at the same time the sense of an overwhelming Power. So the two are like this (gesture of being in a precarious balance). It’s a disorganization in the sense that if I don’t pay attention, I can’t eat, for instance. I have to pay attention, I have to be concentrated all the time, concentrated in order to do things. Sometimes, not a word in my head, nothing; sometimes I see and know what is happening everywhere.

It’s like this (same gesture as on a ridge).

I have to be careful when I am with people, otherwise they would think I am going crazy! (laughter)

It’s really peculiar. A sort of total impotence and an overwhelming power side by side. And the results of the overwhelming power are sometimes visible in people here and there: all of a sudden, miraculous things happen. But at the same time… sometimes I can’t even eat. It’s strange.

22. September 1971 – White Peacock

That must be the supramental victory. A white peacock is the integral victory; a golden tail is the supramental realization…. Did you see that?

29. September 1971 – Victory

It was clear, very clear today, a sort of Pressure to say: Victory is Harmony; Victory is the Divine; and for the body, Victory is good health. Any, any discomfort, any disease is a falsehood. It came this morning. It was very CLEAR. It was convincing, you know.

So it’s all right.

It’s as if, through the Pressure, all the Falsehood had been brought out (gesture surging up from below). The most unexpected things. In people, things, circumstances. It’s really…. No imagination can equal it. It’s incredible.

2. October 1971 – Message

May the Force of Sri Aurobindo and Mother be with you.

6. October 1971 – Lord, what You want is my Joy

I am fully open to anything the Lord wants—anything, even the most difficult of things. I am fully open like this (Mother opens the palms of her hands upward): what You want, Lord, what You want—that’s my joy. That’s all.

It’s my LIFE. It’s the essence of the life in me, in the body. It is like this: what You want—with a joy, a joy that is… unadulterated.

13. October 1971 – What is the Divine?

For instance, I say “the Divine”—what is the Divine? I don’t know—and yet I can’t say that I don’t know. And even saying that is false—that’s not it. Everything is NOT IT. It isn’t it.

Even material life is like that. Take eating, for example, depending on a certain attitude (is it an attitude? I don’t know, because the consciousness is the same), the SAME food can be either absolutely detestable and impossible to swallow, or quite good…. The material circumstances themselves, the SAME circumstances can have very negative and serious consequences, or totally positive ones, depending on…. What does it depend on? That’s the point. Because the consciousness is apparently the same, you simply don’t know what causes the change…. In other words, the whole material life is… unreal. You were talking of fighting, but fighting what? Everything is a mirage. We don’t know what it is, we don’t know WHAT there really is. What does it depend on?

There is something to discover.

Sometimes the body is seized by an unbearable pain, so painful it wants to scream—and a minute later, everything is perfectly fine. And the physical conditions are the SAME, the consciousness is the SAME…. What does it depend on?…

16. October 1971 – State of Receptive Surrender

The body is in a state in which it sees that everything depends only on… how it is tuned in to the Divine—on its state of receptive surrender. I had the experience again a few days ago (I told you the last time, but I had it again in a very precise way): the same thing that causes much more than a discomfort—a suffering, an almost unbearable condition—disappears immediately with just a change into a blissful state. I had the experience several times. And for me it is only a question of a certain sincerity having to do with intensity in the realization that everything is the work of the Divine and His action is moving towards the swiftest realization possible, given the present conditions. Something like that.

I could say the cells of the body have to learn to seek their support ONLY in the Divine, until they are able to feel that they are the expression of the Divine.

It is actually the experience I am having now. The experience (as I told you) of changing the consequences of things—I am having it. But it’s not mentalized, so I can’t put it into words. But the cells really have to become capable of feeling, first, that they are entirely controlled by the Divine (which is expressed by “What You want, what You want,” that state), and then a sort of receptive… (what shall I say?) it’s not immobile, it’s…. Probably you would say a PASSIVE receptivity (Mother opens her hands in a smile). But I don’t know how to explain it.

All words are false, but you could say: “You alone exist.” You know, what the cells feel: “You alone exist.” Like that. But all that becomes hard—words harden the experience. It’s a kind of plasticity or suppleness, very trusting): what You want, what You want….

16. October 1971 – Physical Disorder

We could say that the cure for all physical disorders lies in the cells becoming convinced—conscious and convinced—that they are an expression of the Divine, or even that they are divine in their essence.

Just last night, I stayed for hours…. (nowadays I sleep very, very, very little, I spend hours in a kind of state that is not sleep and not activity, it’s something rather new), and in that state the body became conscious that it was nothing, that it knew nothing, that it could do nothing, that it… a kind of almost total nullity. It had that for hours. And then slowly that feeling changed… it changed into a… something like a sensation (it’s not an ordinary sensation, but it’s something similar to a sensation); the “nothing”—the nothingness, the total nullity—began to feel that it existed only THROUGH the Divine; and then gradually, FOR the Divine, and… a kind of peace settled in… (Mother closes her eyes with a smile… then she opens her eyes wide), an all-powerful peace.

And everything that was painful disappeared.

Peace….

Only, the body [Mother’s body] has an advantage in life: it was built and conceived in such a way that it does not desire pleasant sensations. It does not desire (what shall I say?), yes, the sensation of pleasure, pleasant things, it is quite indifferent to them—and spontaneously. It took no effort to overcome its desires, it never cared about them. It only protested against pain, but that is disappearing totally.

Now, I think the bodily ego is in the process of disappearing. Then it will be perfect.

It’s really quite spontaneous—spontaneous and sincere: You, You, You…. What You want, what You want…. what You want.

16. October 1971 – Occultism

Only he (Theon) did teach me occultism very well. At the time I was really very skilled!… (Laughing) I too did a number of miracles! But I didn’t attach any value or importance to them.

That could be useful…. But Theon couldn’t even protect her!—She lost an eye in one of those experiences (I don’t remember now).

16. October 1971 – Experience of the Inner God

You know, the “Cosmic” had a very interesting effect in my life. I was completely against “God.” The European notion of God was quite repulsive to me. But at the same time naturally, that prevented me from having any experience. And with the “cosmic teaching” of the inner god (that was Theon’s idea, the inner god—Mother touches her chest—the one that is inside each of us), brff! (gesture as if walls were crumbling). The experience was fantastic. I am very grateful to him. That’s how it happened; I found it by following his instructions and searching within, behind the solar plexus. I found it, I had an experience… an absolutely convincing experience.

Only people will stumble upon some vital force and mistake it for the soul, so…. You have to be VERY sincere, that is the absolute condition. You have to be VERY sincere, VERY sincere—not only must you not deceive others, but you must not deceive yourself. You have to be VERY sincere. And then you find it. You find it, it’s an absolutely concrete experience.

I had the experience before coming here. Before I came, before knowing Sri Aurobindo, I had the experience. So three-quarter of the work was already done, you could say…. I didn’t have mental knowledge (the mental knowledge was nothing to talk about), but it’s not necessary for the experience. If you’re sincere, you have the experience without thinking, you don’t NEED to think. But you have to be sincere.

And now that’s what my body has, it’s having those same experiences. But words are….

In a certain attitude (but it’s difficult to explain or define), in a certain attitude, everything becomes divine. Everything. And what is marvelous then is that when you have the experience that everything becomes divine, everything that is contrary quite simply disappears (fast or slow, right away or little by little, depending on circumstances).

That’s really marvelous. That is to say, becoming conscious that everything is divine is the best way to make everything divine—you understand—to eliminate all opposition.

23. October 1971 – True Divine Action

It depends on the case. There’s a slight difference…. There are cases when nothing comes—nothing, everything is stopped. So there you have to wait until it runs its course. There are cases where you are NATURALLY led to do one thing or another, which seems totally indifferent but is part of the Action (I don’t know how to say it). I have experienced both. It depends on the case. There are cases where nothing is needed. There are cases where it’s simply as though you put the Divine ON the thing (Mother makes a gesture of aiming a beam). You know, you’re like… not an intermediary, I don’t know… it’s like a power of concentration on something; then the Divine Force flows through and is focused (same gesture of aiming a beam), but you yourself do nothing—yet the thing is done. Sometimes, if there is a word to be said, then the word comes to you; or if there is something to be done (it may seem like a very small, indifferent thing), you just have to do it quietly—you are LED to do it.

No, there is a moment when it becomes clear. It all depends on…. All personal preferences and desires must disappear.

Then, in that case, it becomes very clear. There are times when you’re sort of COMPELLED to do something. There are times when… nothing—you feel the Force passing and having an effect, but you yourself (I mean, the body), the body doesn’t move. It becomes very perceptible. And I’ve had proof that that’s right, because I’ve had examples: at times, when I’ve remained still like that, without saying anything, simply letting the Force be focused on someone or something through the body (same gesture of aiming a beam), it does it, it acts miraculously like that. And the body has done nothing, hasn’t moved, just let it pass through and be focused on a particular spot (same gesture). It’s automatically focused. Because it’s in our consciousness that the world is divided like this (gesture of little pieces), and there’s one person, another person, one thing, another thing—it’s our consciousness which is like that; so “one” uses that [the individuality] as a channel for the Force to go exactly where it is supposed to go. The action is not a personal action: it’s an Action of the Force using the personal consciousness as a pipe—you understand?

But that’s progressive, you see; you can go on working at it all the time, all the time, all the time…. It’s my constant occupation: eliminating all preferences. But the positive means is (we always come back to the same thing): “What You want, what You want…. What You want, what You want….” And when you’re completely still and free from any trepidation (what I call “passive receptivity,” that is, there isn’t any activity, and yet: what You want, what You want…), then—then only—That works. And you really have the feeling (I don’t know how to say it), really that you’re used only as a channel so the Thing—the Force or the Action—can go exactly where it is supposed to go. That’s what our consciousness is used for (gesture of a pipe).

27. October 1971 – Experience of the Physical Being

What I found with yesterday’s experience—what the experience demonstrated to me—is that the physical being, which thought it was exclusively turned to the Divine, is turned in a… (what shall I say?) an almost superficial way. That is to say, it is still capable of feeling certain occurrences as “catastrophic.” I was made to live all the possible things that could still happen to me, to the body, if things went wrong and precisely if men were driven by the adverse force. And I could see to what a degree (there were the most dreadful possibilities, you know), I saw to what a degree the body is not… (imperturbable, immobile gesture). For several hours it was truly, oh, completely upset, ill with the horror of those possibilities. And then it was able to offer all that to the Divine and say, really say consciously: “Your Will.”

But there was that kind of incapacity we have to know truly the Divine Will—especially concerning the future, tomorrow, what’s going to happen right at this minute—it was dreadful. How we know nothing, how utterly ignorant we are!

Yes, that’s something I feel very strongly too. I feel very strongly how much we don’t know—we don’t know!

It was yesterday afternoon between one and two o’clock, I think. But it was dreadful, you know, it was worse than hell—simply to see… just how little we know.

And it was a very complete experience, because it wasn’t the experience of a person but of all humanity: I saw absolutely concretely that all men who THOUGHT they knew they had Experience [of the Divine], well, it was… (wavering gesture, just above the head), it was halfway, so to say. Whenever we rise a little higher than the ordinary consciousness, we at once think we have touched the Divine.

And that experience yesterday did not culminate in any knowledge; it culminated in… (Mother opens her hands in a gesture of surrender).

So individual existence—what we call “existence”—seems such an abominable, such a horrible thing!…

And at the same time, a very distinct perception that this is not ONE single existence in a material body: it’s the personal, individual existence throughout all time that goes on like this (infinite gesture ahead). So the solution was (gesture of open hands): to give oneself without any ambition to know, to unite without having the illusion of feeling union. Like that. A total surrender.

You see, death is not a solution! NOT AT ALL. There is no solution except… except if… what? (Mother touches her body, indicating material transformation). Perhaps when we’re ready—if we’re ready.

It’s… it was unbelievably horrible.

I came out of it. But I came out of it like this (gesture of open hands).

An effort—a little more sincere effort—and a little more sincere realization: what You want.

30. October 1971 – The Why of Creation

I have a sort of impression of knowing the why of the creation.

It was to realize the phenomenon of a consciousness which would have at once an individual consciousness—the individual consciousness we have naturally—and a consciousness of the whole, a consciousness (how to put it?)… it could be called global. But both consciousnesses merge into something… which we have yet to find.

A consciousness at once individual and total. And all the work is to merge the two consciousnesses in a consciousness which is both at once. That is the next realization.

For us it takes time (what is translated for us as time), as if it were something “being done,” or which is “to be done.” But that is the illusion we’re still in. Because we have not… we have not yet crossed over to the other side.

But the individual consciousness is not at all a falsehood, it has to be associated with the consciousness of the whole so as to make another kind of consciousness which at the moment we still don’t have. Not that it will cancel out the other, you understand? There has to be an adjustment, a different aspect, I don’t know… so that the two can manifest simultaneously.

For example, right now I am having a whole series of experiences concerning the latent power of creation of the individual consciousness, I mean the capacity we have of knowing things—knowing or wanting them, as we say—in the individual consciousness before they take place. We say “I want this,” but that’s merely an intermediary device, it’s actually the consciousness on the way to something and having at once the vision of what is to be and the capacity to realize it.

That’s the next stage. Afterwards….

So, for us, meaning for the individual consciousness, that is translated by time, the time it takes to…. I don’t know how to say it.

This is the way I feel: no longer this, not yet that; and there’s no need to leave one to be the other—the two must combine and give birth to something new.

I have a very strong feeling I have caught the true thing, as if I held (Mother clenches her fist) the tail of the true thing. And it explains everything—absolutely everything. And it cancels nothing.

No. No, no! If you knew how marvelous it is! Absolutely all the problems have been solved all at once. Only, I can’t talk about it.

Don’t worry.

It’s a hundred times more marvelous than we can possibly imagine.

The question is to know if this [the body] will be able to follow…. To follow, it not only has to last, but it has to acquire a new strength and a new life. That I don’t know. In any case, it doesn’t matter—the consciousness is clear, and the consciousness is not subject to this (Mother points to her body). If it can be used, so much the better, if not…. There are still things to be found.

Oh, many things to be found! The old routine is over.

It’s over.

We need to find the plasticity of matter—so that matter can progress forever. That’s it.

How much time will it take? I don’t know. How many experiences will it take? I don’t know. But now the direction is clear. The direction is clear.

10. November 1971 – Turning against the Divine

There’s something interesting, I don’t know if you know this. The government of Orissa before was completely for Sri Aurobindo, and they were very faithful. Then there was a terrible cyclone that came straight at them, but it was deflected, went to Bengal [East-Pakistan] instead and killed an enormous number of people (that was last year, I think). Then, the government of Orissa changed. They’ve become aggressive, dark, just the opposite. They’ve turned against Sri Aurobindo. And this time, a few days ago, the cyclone struck and did terrible damage….

Some have understood.

On the other hand, naturally, some say, “How come? Last time you protected us and this time…”—they don’t understand. But those who understand have very clearly seen the difference.

There are interesting things. But you have the feeling of being, you know (gesture of instability), on the edge of a cliff—you mustn’t make a single false step.

As if the Consciousness were putting pressure on circumstances so they become more definite and clear. Only, then, it’s the end of peace and tranquility.

But also, under that pressure, the consciousness [Mother’s physical consciousness] is becoming clearer and clearer, and realizes how much work we have to do for everything in the being to be in tune with the Divine alone, oh!… One sees—sometimes I spend almost the whole night seeing all the things that have to change their attitude, things you thought were fine, which you didn’t worry about. Now you can see. Compared with what should be, there remains so much to be done….

13. November 1971 – Let the Power flow

It’s really interesting, it’s as if my body were a battlefield between what obstinately wants to stay and what wants to take its place. There are such marvelous moments—glorious moments—and then, a second later, a minute later, such a violent attack! It’s like that. And my body is…. For food, for instance, there are times when I eat without even noticing I am eating, except that everything tastes delicious; and then a second later, I can’t swallow a thing! It’s like this (gesture of tugging from one side or the other). So the only solution I have is to be as QUIET as possible. As soon as I am quiet, it feels better. It’s as if…. All of a sudden you have the impression that you are about to die, and a minute later, it’s… it’s eternity. Really an extraordinary experience. Extraordinary. Sometimes everything, everything seems so foggy, dark—there’s no hope, no possibility of seeing clearly—and a minute later, everything becomes clear.

And at the moment, it’s like this (swinging gesture). It’s only because my body has faith that—that it can go on.

It’s quite interesting.

When you let the Power flow through without diminishing or distorting it or… it’s unbelievable! Unbelievably powerful. And a minute later, you feel that the world is so dark and distorted that it’s hopeless. Although perhaps there’s—perhaps—a small beginning of improvement in the proportion.

17. November 1971 – Human versus New Consciousness

I don’t know how to explain it…. The ordinary human consciousness, even in people who are broad-minded and all that, is always at the center, and things are like this (gesture converging from all sides toward a center), you understand. Things exist (words reduce everything), things exist in relation to a center. While here… (Mother drops a multitude of points throughout space).

Yes, that’s what expresses it the best, I think: in the ordinary human consciousness, you’re at one point and everything exists in its relation to that point of consciousness (same star-shaped gesture). While now, the point no longer exists, so things are self-existent. The point is no longer the source. That’s the closest (that’s not it, but…). You see, my consciousness is IN things—it isn’t “something that receives” (it’s much better than that, but I don’t know how to put it into words).

It’s better than that because it isn’t just “in things”: it’s in “something” which is in things and which… moves them.

I could be flowery; I could say (but that’s not it): it’s no longer one being among other beings, it’s… it’s the Divine in everything. But that’s not the way I feel it. It’s what moves things or what is conscious in things. “What is conscious”…. It isn’t exactly “governs” because the word “govern” doesn’t convey the right sense—“animates” (not that either, all those words reduce and materialize the experience).

Evidently, it’s a matter of consciousness, but not consciousness as human beings ordinarily have: it’s the QUALITY of the consciousness that has changed.

There’s a phenomenon, for example (among many others), a curious phenomenon: when I am like that, the consciousness in things, in movements, in life, and I eat lunch, the food is… there’s no effort… (Mother remains silent). It’s too difficult to say…. I don’t feel “I” am eating, you see, so I am not aware of putting things in my mouth and having to swallow them and….

I can’t say, but the fact is like this: in the new consciousness, I eat very easily, without noticing it, and everything goes very well; as soon as I become conscious in the old consciousness, which means eating, tasting the food, putting it in my mouth—it’s difficult! I have all the trouble in the world not to swallow wrong.

It’s really something new because I don’t know how to describe it.

But then it’s extremely concrete: when I am in that consciousness, my whole lunch is taken effortlessly, without any difficulty; I am given food, I swallow and I don’t notice… not that I don’t notice it (I have taste, I have everything), but the position is different.

No, it’s something which is at once in me and IN THE FOOD, which tastes and takes, but is no longer… it’s no longer the way it was before, that’s all I can say.

It’s really new.

And it’s particularly noticeable for food, because when I am in that consciousness—which comes as soon as I don’t do anything, as soon as I sit quietly—it isn’t like something that “comes in” (gesture toward a center), it’s like something (expanding gesture)… which develops, which is free to develop. Well then—then it’s very good. But if I am in the ordinary consciousness and I eat (it’s “time” for a meal), oh, it’s so difficult that I feel it’s going to be impossible to eat anything! And in the other case, it goes down without my even noticing it. And yet I am conscious of what I am eating.

But what I am saying now isn’t it. It’s something else…. You see, the consciousness is still like this (gesture of oscillating from one side to the other). Both are there. So…. But then I can’t find a way to make myself understood, because new words would have to be invented.

That’s increasing from day to day.

It’s like at night: I don’t sleep and I am not awake; I go into a state in which I don’t sleep at all—yet I am not awake. And I don’t know how to describe what it is. And when it’s normal, it could… it can last indefinitely, there’s no sense of time or fatigue or duration. When the old consciousness comes back, there’s almost unbearable suffering: I am suffocating or I can’t breathe, or it’s a consciousness which shouldn’t be there anymore. So quite naturally and effortlessly, I am in the new state, but if I am drawn into the old consciousness by circumstances, it becomes almost unbearable. You see. And it results in pains in the body or… a body malfunction. But when I enter the new consciousness, everything takes place quite… without my even noticing it and without any effort.

That’s all I can say for the moment.

You see, my body is full of pains and malfunctions, but as soon as I go into that state (vast, peaceful gesture) everything is done—time doesn’t exist anymore. Time is endless in the old consciousness, while it doesn’t exist in this one. I don’t know how to describe it.

Being flowery, I would say: the old consciousness is like… it’s death, it’s as if you were going to die any minute: you suffer, you… it’s the consciousness that leads to death. And the other one (vast, immutable, smiling gesture) is life… peaceful life, eternal life. Yes, that’s it.

But it’s not that, you follow, these are just words.

27. November 1971 – As the Divine sees the World

And then this (Mother hands another paper). This is an experience I had yesterday… (Mother smiles with her eyes closed). All of a sudden I saw—I saw the world in another way. For a moment, all of a sudden I saw as… as the Divine sees the world, you understand? There was no longer the human vision. And I saw something so marvelous…. It was so marvelous I can’t describe it. Then slowly the human consciousness came back and… oh! (Mother takes her forehead in her hands)

For a few moments I saw the world as the Divine sees it. It’s…. There are no words, it’s inexpressible. Then I understood. Everything became clear, clear, clear….

You remember, I had told you that the Divine wanted the individual consciousness to have the experience of the Divine; well that was it. That was it, it was the individual consciousness (since I became conscious of it) seeing the world…. All of a sudden the world became what it is for the Divine…. It is indescribable.

Obviously it has to begin with the consciousness, and afterwards, little by little, things will become such, meaning, become aware of themselves such as the Divine is aware of them.

27. November 1971 – Sri Aurobindo‘s Message

Basically what would be good is to say, “Sri Aurobindo came to tell the world the beauty of the future to come.” And then, explain it.

“He came to give—not a hope: a certitude of the splendor towards which the world is moving….” That’s exactly all the experiences I’ve had recently. And I see Sri Aurobindo’s letters, that’s what he says. “The world is not an unhappy accident, it is a marvel moving towards its expression.”

And then give all the quotations from Sri Aurobindo on the subject.

I think that’s what the world most needs now, a word that gives the sense of what is to be realized—of what will be realized. And then, to awaken in each one the desire to collaborate.

To understand oneself and transmit it to others.

The world needs an assurance of beauty—of the future beauty. And Sri Aurobindo gave the assurance.

1. December 1971 – Nature‘s Transformation

You see, I am witnessing nature’s transformation. When I have nothing to do and I sit very quiet, it’s very clear. I see three things: the nature being transformed, or rather the new nature, what we can call the supramental way of seeing things (it’s getting clearer and clearer; the memory of the old nature remains but is fading more and more, to such a point that sometimes it’s almost incredible, it seems fantastic to have been like that). Then there’s the physical deterioration that comes with age: for example, the physical inability to do what I used to do, the body getting old. But the aging is PURELY physical, I mean, I sit here all day long and have trouble moving about, things like that, but from the standpoint of perception, consciousness, there’s no diminution. On the contrary, it’s getting clearer and clearer and more and more precise. But, for instance, I have trouble speaking (Mother touches her chest, she is out of breath), it’s hard for me to speak; I can’t speak easily, it’s hard. Things like that. That makes three things.

But when I am very quiet (at night, for instance), the new consciousness becomes clearer and clearer, but words cannot easily express it because… it’s a kind of… (how shall I say?) it’s almost as if a new mind were being formed (but not a mental one). And so speech, words… are a poor means, while the direct communication is getting more and more precise and strong. That’s why I can’t speak. It’s purely physical. But the foundation of the physical poise, I mean the physical health, is changing, that is, it’s being shifted: what used to be the condition of good health is practically gone; it is gradually replaced by another condition, but which isn’t there yet; so everything is in… (gesture of instability), everything is no longer this, is not yet that. That’s how it is. It’s inexpressible. That’s why I can’t express myself.

Interestingly enough, I notice it in my way of understanding things. For instance, what Sri Aurobindo wrote is VERY different…. It’s a little as if, before, you used to see through a screen and, now, the screen is being lifted—it’s not completely gone yet, but it’s not completely there either.

But, as you see, speaking makes me short of breath—without reason, simply because… because it’s not natural anymore.

And then, the way of perceiving time and space is becoming very different. It’s completely changing. The notion of time and space, objectivity and subjectivity—whether things are concrete or not—all that seems to have been… devices for preparing the consciousness for a new way of being.

The functioning of the consciousness is beginning to be different. But I can’t explain it.

And then, for sight, for instance, sometimes I see more clearly with my eyes closed than with them open, and the vision is the SAME, physical, purely physical vision; but a physical that seems… more complete, I don’t know what words to use. For instance, when I write; sometimes with my eyes closed I see what I write or see the same thing, but I see it… (what shall I say?… I could be wordy, but I don’t like that). You know, it’s as if what you see were more complete, yet it’s the same thing, but containing more than the purely physical vision.

I write birthday cards, and Sri Aurobindo…. I was about to say I have the feeling that Sri Aurobindo makes me write, but it’s not like that, it’s much better than that!… But when I start to write, for example, I close my eyes, and I see better what I am writing. Champaklal asks me to sign the cards, and he tells me that I sometimes write 3 or 4 cards in a row with my eyes completely closed, then my handwriting is much straighter and much more where the writing should be.

But there’s no personal will involved, no personal effort, it’s… it’s spontaneous. So….

And then, there is a kind of “something” that has been formed in the body to replace the mind, which is gone. This “something” has its mental ways of saying things, but it’s very imperfect. For it, mental perceptions seem so thin, like a husk, the husk of something—so dry, with no real life behind them.

But the main trouble is in speaking (Mother touches her chest). I don’t know, I have the same trouble eating. I don’t think it’s the result of age because I feel strong: I feel strength, it’s not that I am tired, I don’t at all feel tired—it’s… a change. But then my age gives it a semblance of reason. Well (laughing) I don’t know if it was these last few days (yesterday or the day before), all of a sudden I understood, as if Sri Aurobindo made me understand that it has come at this advanced age to give the semblance of reason, in order to… to assure me the utmost peace possible in my relations with people.

I can’t explain it.

Things are essentially what they are supposed to be, but the problem is this human consciousness, which is so… (what’s the word?), so thin: it lacks something, which prevents us from seeing things as they really are, or feeling them as they really are.

As for hearing, I’ve noticed one thing: for instance, someone may tell me something in a very loud voice, making a lot of noise—I understand NOTHING; while other times, a noise that others don’t hear I hear very clearly…. I need a certain CONSCIOUS atmosphere in order to hear, and that atmosphere is not perceived by most people.

4. December 1971 – Mother’s Message

„Sri Aurobindo est venu annoncer au monde un glorieux avenir et a ouvert la porte sur son accomplissement.”

“Sri Aurobindo came to announce to the world a glorious future and opened the door to its realization.”

4. December 1971 – Everything is the Result of the Divine

Oh, more and more I live in a… it’s more than a conviction—it’s a positive certitude that things are the result of the Divine.

Even when you fall flat on your face—it’s the best thing that could have happened to you.

Even when you make a mistake…. You see, there are several types of mistake. I don’t know how to explain it…. I’ve also seen that this very impression of making a mistake, or being the victim of an accident, or any of that is necessary—the impression is necessary in you so that everything turns out exactly as it should. Except those who have (what’s the word?) the destiny or role of seeing the Truth and living the Truth, which they do in any case…. I don’t know how to explain it.

I could say that my physical capacity has been greatly diminished by age, but I see why that’s so, why it had to wait for this advanced age.

Yes, exactly, because we MUST fight. And if we did not have that illusion, we would become passive—passive and languid. You know, there’s something in the consciousness now that smiles at everything—I am well aware of it—although I see that physically it is not supposed to be like that yet.

We’re still in the period of struggle.

Now, the body has the conviction that only death can stop its transformation. So it’s impossible. Only some kind of violent death, an “accident” (well…) could stop the transformation, otherwise the work is being done regularly, regularly (gesture of irresistible advance). It’s like that, the body is convinced of it now, that only violence could stop it—but then if that happens, it’s certainly because it had to happen, you see, for some reason… which it has no desire to know, it doesn’t care a button. But otherwise, as long as it’s here, it knows that the work will go on and on and on… in spite of everything. That’s it.

8. December 1971 – Message

Our human consciousness has windows opening on the Infinite. But generally men keep the windows tightly closed. We must open them wide and let the Infinite penetrate us freely to transform us.

Two conditions are required to open the windows.

1) Ardent aspiration.

2) Progressive abolition of the ego.

The divine help is assured to those who set to work sincerely.

The work being done is constant. And I see now that the body seems to be used as a… (what?) a connecting point (gesture like a channel going through Mother), like that. But without its even knowing it. Because the action is very vast, you see—very vast and complex—and the consciousness is not aware of all the details: it only feels the Force working, that’s all. And that’s constant, day and night, nonstop.

My nights. I don’t have the impression of sleeping, but time goes by without my noticing it, like that, simply feeling the Forces going through…. But I don’t know what they do—I know they’re going through [Mother] and are focused here or there. But I have no curiosity; just the impressions of being very quiet so the process can go on unhindered—so that nothing creates an obstacle to the passing of the forces at work.

And hour after hour, hour after hour, day after day it’s like that. With the impression that the time goes by unnoticed. Not long, not….

13. December 1971 – Communicating with the Psychic

Communications from the psychic do not come in a mental form. They are not ideas or reasonings. They have their own character quite distinct from the mind, something like a feeling with a self-contained meaning and influence.

By its very nature, the psychic is calm, quiet and luminous, understanding and generous, wide and progressive, it is forever striving for understanding and progress.

The mind describes and explains.

The psychic sees and understands.

15. December 1971 – Only the Divine knows

“Difficult periods come on earth to compel men to overcome their small personal egoism and to turn exclusively to the Divine for help and light. The wisdom of men is ignorant. Only the Divine knows.”

It came imperiously.

What wants Peace and Harmony was in me and….

I was feeling a sort of pressure, and that came. It came imperatively—plain, imperative. Without that, men would never have progressed—they would never progress.

18. December 1971 – Pakistan and America

It won’t be done that way. I’ve seen how. It won’t be done through a battle: the different parts of Pakistan will demand separation. There are five of them. And by separating, they’ll join India—to form a sort of confederation. That’s how it will be done.

I saw it, I don’t remember what day (recently), all of a sudden, for several hours there was a contact with the Divine Power and Vision—it was… it was magnificent, things became extraordinary; then, immediately the next day, all the news changed. Really extraordinary. What actually took place isn’t what I saw, for it was seen years ahead…. But that doesn’t matter, it’s all right.

So, the things in the offing are a federation of all the states of India, and another one in the offing is the conversion of the United States. A federation of the states of India along the lines of The Ideal of Human Unity, as conceived and explained by Sri Aurobindo. And the conversion of the United States is in the same idea, just according to Sri Aurobindo’s revelation. But that will take time.

18. Dec. 1971 – Divine Impulsion & Physical Mind & Psychic & Trust

To be very attentive; rather than being passive and inert, to be very attentive and alert. And then, to feel when the Impulsion to do something comes, and to do it. I have put that into practice these last few days, and that’s the solution. You see, the difficulty lies in having action WITHOUT the personal limitations—they are inextricably bound up in our consciousness, and the passivity you speak of is there to separate the two; but once you have… I don’t know, the perception or sensation of the state in which you are completely open to the Divine Impulsion, then you can allow action to take place again. And that is the solution.

Also I heard something Sri Aurobindo wrote, where he says that in order for the Supermind to manifest on earth, the physical mind has to receive and manifest it. And the physical mind, I mean the bodily mind, mine, is precisely the only one I have left now. And so it came to me very clearly that that is why that one alone was left. And it is being converted very rapidly and interestingly. The physical mind is developing under the supramental influence. And it’s just what Sri Aurobindo wrote, that it was indispensable so the Supermind could manifest on earth in a permanent way.

Sri Aurobindo said that if the physical mind is transformed, the body’s transformation will follow quite NATURALLY. We’ll see.

I don’t know, because for me everything was simply taken away—the mind is completely gone. If you like, in appearance I had become an idiot, I didn’t know anything. And it’s the physical mind that developed, slowly, slowly.

In my case, I don’t know, the work was done for me—I did nothing. That’s how it was done, very radically. It could be done because I was VERY conscious of my psychic (the psychic being which was formed through all the lives), I was very conscious of it, and it remained; it remained and enabled me to deal with people without its making any difference, thanks to that psychic presence. That’s why there were very few apparent changes. So I can speak only of what I know, and I’ll say this: the psychic has to remain very much in command of the whole being—the whole bodily being—guiding the life, then the mind has time to be transformed. Mine was simply sent away.

You see, the transformation of the bodily mind was indispensable because that’s the only one I had left, you follow?… Very few people would accept that. (Laughing) In my case, it was done without asking my opinion! The work was very easy.

You see, what’s taking root permanently, as it were, is this: the nonentity of the person—the absolute nonentity and incapacity. And then you’re… you’re fine; you’re quite naturally like a child, you say to the Divine, “Do everything for me” (there’s nothing left, so you can’t do anything!), then everything goes well immediately—immediately.

You see, the body has given itself entirely. It even said to the Divine, “I beg You to make me want my dissolution if I must die,” so that EVEN THERE I won’t offer any resistance, should it be necessary for this body to die—to want my dissolution. That’s its attitude, it was like this (gesture of open hands). But instead, there came a sort of… (I could put it into words, but it wasn’t words): “If you accept suffering and discomfort, transformation is better than dissolution.” And so when it feels uncomfortable, it accepts.

It’s not like that; what I say is [inadequate]. It’s not really like that, but it’s hard to explain. It’s really a new attitude and a new sensation, I can’t express it.

And for each one obviously it must be different…. For me it was very radical—I didn’t have any choice, you understand: it was like that, and that’s that.

But we truly have to…. What made things easy is that the psychic consciousness was completely in the forefront and ruling the life, so it just went on quietly without being concerned with the rest.

It’s like sight and hearing, I’ve noticed that it’s not a physical deterioration: it’s simply that I understand and hear people only when they think clearly what they say. And I see only what is… what expresses the inner life, otherwise things are… hazy or veiled. It’s not that my eyes don’t see, it’s “something,” it’s something else—everything is new.

It was what Sri Aurobindo told me when I asked to leave (we both knew one of us had to go); I immediately said to him, “I will go.” And he said no, he told me, “Your body is much more capable than mine of bearing the work of transformation.” Sri Aurobindo told me that. And so it accepted, but….

It’s true, the body has to be VERY good-willed—it so happens that mine is; and it’s not a mental goodwill, of course, it’s really a bodily goodwill. It accepts, it accepts all the drawbacks…. But the attitude is important, not the consequences (I am convinced that the drawbacks are not indispensable), it’s the attitude that is important. It has to be like this (gesture of open hands), you see. Truly I have noticed that in most cases, surrender to the Divine does not mean trust in the Divine—because when you surrender to the Divine, you say, “Even if You make me suffer, I surrender,” but that’s an absolute lack of trust! That’s really amusing, surrender DOES NOT IMPLY trust; trust is something else, it’s… a kind of knowledge—an unshakable knowledge, which nothing can disturb—it’s WE who change into difficulties, suffering, misery what is… perfect peace in the Divine Consciousness. It’s we who create that little “transformation.”

But it’s really the consciousness that must change—and even the consciousness OF THE CELLS, you understand?… That, that’s a radical change.

And there are no words to express it, because it didn’t exist on earth—it was latent, but it wasn’t manifested.

If you like, I could say that at each minute you feel you can either live eternally or die (gesture of a slight tilt from one side to the other). Every minute is like that. And the difference [between the two] is so slight that you can’t say: Do this and you’ll be on this side, do that and you’ll be on the other—not possible. It’s a way of being almost beyond description.

22. December 1971 – Physical Mind

I heard (yesterday, I think, or the day before) a letter of Sri Aurobindo’s in which he said that for the Supermind to be fixed here (he had noticed that the Supermind came into him and withdrew, came back and withdrew—it wasn’t stable), so he said: to become stable, it has to enter and settle in the physical mind.2 And that’s just the work being done in me for months now: the mind has been removed, and the physical mind is taking its place, and for some time I had noticed that it was… (I told you that it was seeing everything in a different way, that its relationship with things was different), I have been noticing these past few days that the physical mind, the mind that is in the body, was becoming vast, its visions were comprehensive, and its whole way of seeing was absolutely different (Mother extends her arms in an immense, quiet gesture). I saw, that’s it: the Supermind is working there. And I spend extraordinary hours.

What is left is just the things that resist—you feel (I told you this) that it’s as if every minute (and it’s getting more and more pronounced), every minute: do you want life, do you want death; do you want life, do you want death?… That’s how it is. And life is union with the Supreme. And consciousness, a COMPLETELY new consciousness is coming. That’s how it is, like this (Mother makes a gesture of swinging from one side to the other). But yesterday or the day before, I don’t know, all of a sudden the body said, “No! I am through—I want life, I don’t want anything else.” And since then I’ve felt better.

Oh, it would take volumes to narrate what is happening. It’s… remarkably interesting, and ENTIRELY new. Entirely new.

Because of physical death, the subconscient is defeatist. You see, the subconscient feels that whatever the progress, whatever the effort, it will always end with that, because up until now, it has always ended like that. So then the work now being done is to try to bring faith and the certainty of the transformation into the subconscient. And that… is a struggle at each second.

25. December 1971 – Pay Attention to the Divine

More and more I am convinced that we have a way of receiving things and reacting to them that CREATES difficulties—I am more and more convinced of it. Because, for example, I have rather unpleasant physical and material experiences about food. You know that for a very long time now I have completely stopped being hungry (I eat only to be reasonable, because “one must” eat, otherwise…), and I have some small difficulty in swallowing, or breathing (ridiculous things), but everything changes depending on whether you pay attention to them or not, depending on an attitude like this (gesture of being focused on oneself) in which you watch yourself living, or an attitude in which you’re (vast gesture) in things, in movement, in life; and a third attitude in which you pay attention only to the Divine. If you succeed in being like that all the time, there are no difficulties—and yet things are the same. That’s the experience: the thing in itself is as it is, but it is our reaction to it that differs. The experience is more and more conclusive. You see, there are three categories: our attitude with respect to things, the things in themselves (those two always give you trouble), and there is a third category in which everything, but everything is in regard to the Divine, in the Consciousness of the Divine—all is marvelous, all is easy! And I am speaking of material things, of the material, physical life (for psychological things, we’ve known it for long), I mean material things like little discomforts of the body, or reactions, feeling pain or not, circumstances going wrong, not being able to swallow your dinner—the most banal things you don’t pay attention to when you’re young and strong and in good health (you don’t pay any attention to them, and it’s like that for everyone), but when you live in the consciousness of your body and what happens to it and its ways of receiving things that come and so on—oh, it’s misery! When you live in the consciousness of others, of what they want, what they need, their relationship with you—it’s misery! But if you live in the Divine Presence and it’s the Divine who does everything, sees everything, is everything… it’s Peace—it’s Peace, time has no duration, everything is easy and…. Not that you feel joy or feel… it’s not so… it’s the Divine who is there. And it’s the ONLY solution. That’s where the world is going: the Consciousness of the Divine—the Divine who does, the Divine who is, the Divine…. So then, the same IDENTICAL circumstance (I am not speaking of different circumstances), the same IDENTICAL circumstance (it’s my experience these last few days, so concrete, you know, so concrete); day before yesterday I was sick as a dog, and yesterday circumstances were the same, my body was in the same state, all was the same and yet… all was peaceful.

I am thoroughly convinced of that.

If only I didn’t have so much trouble speaking…. That explains everything. It explains everything, all, all.

The world is the same—it is seen and felt in a totally opposite way.

Everything is a phenomenon of consciousness—everything. Only, it is not a matter of this consciousness, or that one, or that other one, that’s not it: it’s our way, the human way of being conscious versus the divine way of being conscious. That’s all. That’s the whole question. And I am thoroughly convinced.

It’s like death, you see. The phenomenon is transitional, but seems to us to have existed forever (it’s forever for us because our consciousness is like this—Mother draws a little square in the air), but when you have that divine consciousness, oh!… things become almost instantaneous, you understand. I can’t explain it.

There IS movement, there IS progression, there IS what is translated for us by time, that exists, it’s something… something in the consciousness…. It’s hard to express…. It’s like an object and its projection. A little like that. All things ARE, but for us, we see them projected on a screen, as it were: one comes after another. It’s a little like that.

And its effect on us, the sensation it produces in us depends exclusively on the position of our consciousness. There is the consciousness of being in oneself or being in the whole (being in the whole is already a bit better than being egoistically oneself, and it has its advantages and disadvantages, but it’s not the truth), the Truth is… the Divine as totality—totality in time and totality in space. And that consciousness, the body CAN have, because this body had it (momentarily, for a few moments), and while it has it, everything is so… you see, it’s not joy, it’s not pleasure, it’s not happiness, nothing of all that… a sort of blissful peace… and luminous… and creative. Magnificent. Only, it comes and goes, comes and goes…. And when you go out of it, you have the impression of falling into a horrible pit—our ordinary consciousness (I mean the ordinary human consciousness) is a horrible pit. But we also know why it had to be momentarily that way, for it was necessary in order to go from this to that: everything that happens is necessary for the full development of the goal of creation. You could say (we could word-paint): the goal of creation is for the creature to become conscious as the Creator. There you are.

It’s word-painting, but it’s in that direction.

This creation’s goal is that Consciousness of the Infinite, the Eternal, which is omnipotent—Infinite, Eternal, Omnipotent (which our religions have called God: for us, with respect to life, it’s the Divine)—Infinite and Eternal, All-Powerful… outside of time: each individual particle possessing that Consciousness; each individual particle containing that same Consciousness.

Division created the world, and it is in division that the Eternal manifests.

25. December 1971 – Death is a Distortion of Consciousness

I have the impression that I am on the way to discovering… the illusion that must be destroyed so that physical life can be uninterrupted—discovering that death comes from a… a distortion of consciousness. That’s it.

It’s this close, you know (Mother makes a gesture as if she were about to grasp the secret).

And as I told you, sometimes I feel that the great number of years makes the work somewhat more difficult, but taken on the whole, it is a GREAT help—I understood that were I young, I could never have done what I am doing. And when I am in the true consciousness, the moment I am in the true consciousness, the number of years is nothing!—The body feels so young, so full of… something else than young (for it, young is immature and ignorant, it’s not that), it’s… you’re in communion with “something”… which changes according to the need.

Our language (or our consciousness) is… inadequate. Later I’ll be able to say.

Something IS HAPPENING—that’s all I can say. (Mother laughs)

29. December 1971 – Message

We are at a decisive hour in the history of the earth. The earth is preparing for the advent of the supramental being, and because of this the old way of living loses its value. One must launch oneself consciously on the path of the future in spite of the new exigencies. The pettinesses tolerable at one time are no more so; one must widen oneself to receive that which shall be born.

29. December 1971 – I am Nothing without the Divine

The fastest way for me was… (how shall I put it?) the growing sense of my own nonentity—nonexistence. To feel I could do nothing, knew nothing, wanted nothing; but then the WHOLE being filled with… it’s not even an aspiration now, it’s like this (gesture of surrender, hands open), an inescapable fact: “Without the Divine, nothing, nothing—I am nothing, I understand nothing, I can do nothing. Without the Divine, nothing.” To be like this (same gesture, hands open). And then… a Peace… a luminous Peace… and so powerful! And when I am quiet (I saw it again very interestingly, because before when I gave a meditation to X, there was still an effort, an effort to meditate, an effort to…), while this time… (Mother sharply lowers her hands), it was compelling. A compelling Presence—compelling. Extraordinary…. In fact I wondered what the meditation would be like, if it was going to be like before—not at all, it’s like this (Mother sharply lowers her hands).

But first there must be an absolute sincerity, that is, a CONVICTION: I am nothing, nothing—I can do nothing, I know nothing, I have absolutely NOTHING… (Mother raises an index finger) except the Divine. Then it’s all right.

As I told you, it’s so strong that at times I can’t even eat; whereas when it’s like this, when the consciousness becomes like this (gesture of surrender, hands open), I finish my dinner without even knowing I am eating…. It’s inexpressible. But wonderful.

Only, there is no place for fear—if you’re afraid, it becomes dreadful.

Fortunately my body is not afraid.